I recently just got out of 5 ½ years relationship. He wanted space that I never really gave him. I cried to hi

Question

I recently just got out of 5 ½ years relationship. He wanted space that I never really gave him. I cried to his friends for help. I argued with him in front of his house and things I shouldn’t have done that would involve with others. He said I did not respect him. He was upset because he felt I have announced to the world about our breakup but he should’ve understand where I m coming from. Until one day, he finally called me and told me “now that I called, ask me all the question you want to know and stop asking people to people about me. he felt stalked. What hurt even more was he is seeing this girl for about 4 weeks and told me he really likes her a lot. He told me to move on and he can’t see me in his future anymore. I don’t understand how he can move on so quickly. After he told me that, I still call him and trying to be friends with him but he didn’t pick up. He couldn’t forgive me for what I have done to him. Things I have done to him were quit neurotic and obsessive. But only because I love him so much. Is just the last year that were together has gotten so bad. The other 5 years was great. When we were together, he was very faithful and helped me out so much, financially and mentality. In this relationship, I have done more wrong than he had to me. I was never there for him. I always made things worse for him in fact, and never really listen to his problem when he wanted somebody to listen. I hope leaving him alone for a couple of months from now, he would be able to take me as a friend again because he doesn’t even want to talk to me as friend when he already seeing someone. Yet, I’m still alone dwelling on the past. All I ever wanted right now is for him to know that I have changed. But will there ever be a chance for us to get back again. Is it possible that he will get serious with the girl he is seeing now? I’m so worry…

Answer 1

Move on ... he is obviously happier without you .... it's good that you've changed but you should have changed sooner if you wanted to keep this guy .... Hopefully your next fella will benifit from your change of attitude and you'll both be happy together ...
The past is the past ... learn from it then let it go

Answer 2

Who needs this kind of drama? Nobody. It's all about you, isn't it? You sound unstable. He's finally got rid of you and you can't get past it. Well, time to face reality and get a grip. If he's smart, he's not coming back, ever. Until you get your head on straight, your not going to have much luck with relationships. Best thing to do is to let it go and move on for real. It's over. If you really care for this guy and he gets serious with another woman, then just be happy for him, but don't put your nose where it doesn't belong. It's done. Don't call him anymore, get it? It's over, so there is no more need to worry.

Answer 3

Lisa I have the perfect book for you to read. "Its called a breakup" by Greg Behrendt. Excellent book, if I had your address, I would mail it to you it is that good and to the point so RUN....don't walk to the closest bookstore and buy it. I am sorry that you are hurting but you must stop tormenting yourself. As soon as you stop wishing for him to come back and start to accept things for what they are, you will start healing. I am willing to bet he is never coming back. He has moved on. He moved on so quickly because he broke up with you long before he told you he need ed his space. You need to get some dignity and leave him alone and go on without him. We women tend to think we can remain friends. Please don't plan your life on that ok? I really think for you to heal you must just cut him out of your life completely. You have to leave him alone. No calls, no emails, no running in to him at the store....This is going to be hard but when you look back at this a year from now you are going to be so happy that you let it go instead of dragging this pain forever. You will live thru this, ask anyone who has gone thru this very painful time. Please leave him alone. It is called having some dignity....You deserve good things for yourself as well as he. God bless.

Answer 4

It sounds to me like he is on the rebound. Dating someone else so quickly after a long relationship is usually rebound. He is probably having difficulty being friends because he feels hurt that you went behind his back to ask questions and feels bad about the end of the relationship. My advise is to keep yourself busy and focus on other areas of your life....school, work, hobbies, friends & family. He will realize he is on the rebound and either will come back to you (if he loves you), or will become friends with you. If you love him, give him the time and space to figure things out on his own. He will probably miss you, but won't miss you if you keep calling, asking questions, etc. Show him you are strong enough to move on and he will respect you more for it.

Answer 5

Stop dwelling on the past. You need to start focusing on getting on with your life because he's not coming back to you. Anyway, things happen for a reason so, maybe this happened so you can learn how to be a better person and you are meant to be with someone else.

Answer 6

let him have his space & you take yours. Develope a life for yourself & learn how to be happy by your self, When you are content to be by yourself then you can have a successful relationship.

This is probably the last thing you want to hear but move on if you can, or maybe just move. Being in love isn't easy & loosing that love is even harder.

Give it some time, time will heal your pain.

Answer 7

You need to let him go. Seriously.
If I were him.... no I probably would never take you back again. You need to move on with your life. Sitting and waiting for him is not very smart as he may never come back. Besides if you REALLY love him... you want him to be happy, and you said yourself that you pretty much made him miserable for the last year.