After the birth of my son we got pregnant not long after and I miscarried... I dont think that has anything to do with the situation... but when we get ready to have sex I feel fear rush over me and clench up... He dont notice most of the time... but it makes it hard for me to auctually enjoy him and the sex.... What can I do to overcome this fear?
2006-11-01 09:34:58 · 30 answers · asked by greygirl06 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am on birth control! I have a FEAR of my husbadns PENIS!!!!
Im not afraid to get pregnant.... I want to but my hubby wants to wait...
2006-11-01 09:37:56 · update #1
Only if it is a penisaurus. A penis the size of a dinosaur. Never seen one? Look me up. They don't call me stallion because I can run fast!
2006-11-01 09:37:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
You may not think that the miscarriage is a problem but deep down it has to be. There is no way you can just move on from that without some changes. After reading your previous questions, let me implore you to see a therapist. Do it soon and go alone. This should be handled in less than three meetings.
You may not think he notices but based on your other questions , believe me he does.
You went through a traumatic time and it has left its mark. Get some professional help here for the sake of your marriage and child.
Been there.
2006-11-01 09:49:41 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not beleive it is normal.
I think my GF has the same problem but won't admit it. My guess is it has partly to do with birth control. All of those hormones rushing around can't be good for the libido and mind. If you do choose to stop taking birth control then it can take a few months even for your body and hormonal level to return to normal. An ex of mine took almost six months to get back to herself. Only after that time did she realize how much the birth control changed her. She was like a completely different woman.
But at the same time, I can't help but wonder if your miscarriage has something to do with it. Perhaps and emotional/mental block??
You say your husband hasn't noticed but I bet he has. Try speaking with him maturely about it. If you are both adults and soulmates then it should be something you can work out. If you can't do it by yourselves don't be ashamed, seek proffesional help. I think your problem is not as strange or unique as you might think.....
2006-11-01 09:44:11 · answer #3 · answered by Marcus 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that alot of your fear still surrounds the child that you two lost,it is a very hard thing to get past mentally I don't really think that you ever really do. I have never lost a child but I am a mother of 3,and I would assume that it would be mentally crippling. I would suggest that you take time,and realize that its not the penis that hurts you its the fact that you know what happens when you have sex,and having lost the prior child your fears lie there,and relax.
2006-11-02 00:52:31 · answer #4 · answered by Bone 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To begin with, the fact that you brought up the miscarriage makes me think you may be have a harder time dealing with it than even you realize. You should talk to your husband about your fears and consider seeing a professional. I know from experience that miscarriages can be very hard to cope with and there just aren't the outlets for this type of loss as there are for so many others. Good luck.
2006-11-01 09:38:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah that's okay just above average. Everyone has a different penis length. I turned 15 in January and penis is only 5''.
2016-03-28 03:53:17 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Subconsciously you may associate sex in general with the miscarriage and the pain and suffering that goes with a miscarriage. It is common but needs to be dealt with. It may not be something you can deal with alone, you may need to seek therapy to help you. A church counsellor is a good source for that if you can find one. Ignoring the problem will not make it go away however and might end up putting a strain on your marriage if not dealt with properly.
2006-11-01 09:51:14 · answer #7 · answered by Warrior 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you have a fear of getting pregnant , then miscarrying again. i went through the same thing a year ago. once i got past the fear of losing another baby. i came to the conclusion that i needed to let the pain ease. when the pain of losing your baby eases, the fear should to. if not you might want to see a therapist he might have a way to help you work through your fear. i hope i was able to help.
2006-11-01 09:44:59 · answer #8 · answered by Thumbs down me now 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you harbor an illogical feeling of "blame" onto him or the penis. Talk to someone like a counselor about this and give yourself some time to heal and talk about the pain of losing a baby. Explain to him how you feel and you want to improve the situation, but need to talk to a professional to sort it out.
2006-11-01 09:41:05 · answer #9 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband about it - maybe make it more romantic and take it slowly so that u are bulding up in to it rather than just going for it
Set the mood a little to help you relax - romantic music, candles, rose petals - whatever you deem as being romantic and enjoy it
2006-11-01 10:09:19 · answer #10 · answered by misscynic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think subconsiously you do have a fear of being pregnant. A fear that you might get pregnant and then lose the baby again. I think you should talk to him about it, or talk to a sex therapist. you need to get past this or your sex life will suck forever.
2006-11-01 09:44:55 · answer #11 · answered by benjis.girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋