Help with a story!!!???!!!???

Question

I am writing a story for english class and I need some help. Tell me what you think of this. PLEASE GIVE ME CRITISCISM!!!!

Pop! I could hear it crack as it flew high in the air. Bam! It exploded! As my little sisters covered their ears, someone screamed. I looked around and saw the horror in my mother's face as she was looking right at my youngest brother. Not everything that goes Bang! on Independence Day is a firework.

Answer 1

Sounds like a good Nancy Drew mystery.