He's jealous but he has no reason to be. This guy he wants me to stay away from I have known all my life (his dad and my dad were best friends...that is before my dad died) and is really like my brother (and he's 3 years older than me if that means anything). When I hang out with my friend I'm not all touchy or anything like that and its usually with other people also.....I just don't understand. I want my boyfriend to be happy but I will not drop my friend like that. Any advice? I know, its drama....I can't help it though! lol
Thanks!
2006-11-01 08:47:39 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
sarah k: I think I would be OK with it....if their relationship was like mine and my friends then I could understand it.
2006-11-01 08:52:34 · update #1
i can understand your boyfriend's insecurity. MOST guys are friends with girls and would get in their knickers if the opportunity presents itself (not saying that your best friend is like that, but a lot of guys are)
and your boyfriend is probably thinking, '... yeah, y'all friends now, but romance/lust/love/whatever-you-wanna-call-it has a way of creeping up on people' .. you've heard the phrase 'we were friends, before we were lovers..'?
with all of that in mind and possibly more, youre boyfriend probably thinks the less time you spend with the guy, the less chance romance/lust/love/whatever gets to creep in.
so, right now, while you're still just friends and have ABSOLUTELY NO sexual/romantic feelings for your best friend, you have to make a conscious effort to keep things that way, and then turn to your boyfriend and give him plenty of re-assurance. i know it sucks, but unfortunately, that's the way us humans are wired. insecurity needs reassurance. and reassurance could be in the form of while being with your best friend, speaking to your boyfriend on the phone, for example, and tell him how much you love him (vomit) in such a way that the best friend hears it and the boyfriend knows that the best friend knows and heard it. that make sense? its a bore but if you really love your boyfriend and you really have no sexual feelings/hopes for your best friend, you might have to do all that :(
2006-11-01 08:59:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is jealous. How long have you been going out with him? If you guys have just started going out 6 mos or less, then he has got to get to know you better, and you have to assure your boyfriend of the facts surrounding your friendship. If you guys have been going out for a while, and he still doesn`t trust you, he probably never will, and this could lead to a bad situation in the future. I believe friends are important, and you have been friends with this guy for a long time. If your boyfriend continues to not trust you, you will have some decisions to make regarding trust in your relationship with you boyfriend, as trust weighs heavy in the importance in relationships.
2006-11-01 16:54:26 · answer #2 · answered by bubbabuddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your bf needs to learn not to be so selfish and insecure...If he loved you/cared about you, He wouldn't even WANT you to drop someone that has been a lifelong friend.
Maybe you should try sitting down and talking to him, And let him know that it's nothing more than friends, Never has been, And never will be...And that he has nothing to worry about.
Guys can be just as insecure as girls sometimes...And just need some reassuring..
If that doesn't work, Then I'm not sure what to suggest you do.
Best of luck!!! :-)
And remember- Friends are forever, Guys come and go!
2006-11-01 16:50:28 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really can't blame him the guy best freind is THE guy and more important than any bf I really don't blame him for being jelous. In fact being the male best freind myself I get very jelous when my best female freind has boyfreinds, cause I totally love her as a freind especially wehn she has bf that are way less atractive than I am. If there was someway that I could have her exlusivley but not sleep with her well maybee occasionally and just until I meet true love of my life cause she's this freak who prefers to lsiten to the doors insteead of talk to me and is happy doing nothing on the beach exept with making out with that damn chilango. I think men and women shouldn't be freinds it gets too confusing.
2006-11-01 16:55:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your bf is just being the typical jealous type. You need to explain to him the relationship that you and your best friend have. If he has problems accepting that relationship, maybe you should reconsider dating the guy. When someone your only dating wants to start cutting off people you talk too, take it as a warning that it won't stop there.
2006-11-01 16:51:24 · answer #5 · answered by CC 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is like your brother I do not think you should drop him for a guy your not sure will even last im not saying youll arent goin last but your always supposed to put your friends first before guys unless your going to marry this guy or something then thats a whole different story.
2006-11-01 16:51:56 · answer #6 · answered by dev'smummy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like you have to make a choice: catering to your boyfriend's insecurities, or keeping your friend. You can try the "let's all go out together" thing, but I doubt yoru boyfriend will be able to handle it. If you're under the age of 25, dump the boyfriend.
2006-11-01 16:51:26 · answer #7 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd be very cautious with this guy. They can be emotional and sometimes physical abusers. These guys are so insecure that they can't take you having friends of the opposite sex, no matter how innocent your friendship is. My ex husband did the same thing to me, making me feel so guilty that I cut off all ties with my guy friends (and I thought it was MY decision!!!!, but it was really him pushing me, making me feel bad) anyone who can't accept your decisions and trust you is no one you want to be with. I'd tell your boyfriend this: "he is been my friend since we were kids, he's like family to me, and I will remain his friend. You can accept it and trust me, or you can find someone else who has no male friends" Give him the choice, and if he can't handle it, he needs to hit the road.
2006-11-01 16:58:44 · answer #8 · answered by Astro 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i am like that with my Gf but it kinda faded away after awhile ur Bf is probably just really attached and gets jealous of you with other guys easily...EVERY guy is like that believe me. You shouldnt go as far as not seeing your good guy friends though i mean i can see if that guy friend of your has touched you innappropriatley in the past or has tried hard to be with you then i can see where your Bf is coming from but just have a talk with your Bf and see how he feels and tell him exaclty how you feel if he really likes you then he wont keep you from seeing them ...Good Luck!
2006-11-01 16:52:39 · answer #9 · answered by Jordy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All men know that a "male friend" in a woman's mind is like the glass encased fire alarm; "Break open in case of emergency!" A man cheats in one way; with his penis. A woman can cheat physically as well, but most often "cheat" on their s/o's emotionally. This is what is most likely causing your boyfriend to be jealous. He needs to feel as though he is the one who takes care of your needs, physically AND emotionally. Another man is a huge threat to him. To put your insecure man's mind at ease, invite him to hang out with you two and let him judge for himself.
2006-11-01 17:02:54 · answer #10 · answered by Lou 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋