My husband and I are getting a divorce which he asked for and I am more than happy to give him. He has done horriable things to me and I should hate him and a part of me does but in the end I wonder why he would treat me this way? I mean he had drug problems, is menatally abusive and sometime physically abusive, controlling and all that stuff but for some reason I cant hate him. More than that I hate that he wont visit our newborn son. I dont know why I care that he misses his supervised visits, I dont know how to stop caring or worring about what he thinks or if I am wrong. I am scared to go to court and he gets the judge to think I am doing something wrong too. Anyone got ideas?? Dont get me wrong I dont want him back and I dont want my son to be around him unsupervised I just dont understand why he wont see him. I am happy to be out of the chaos but I still wonder what he is doing, if he is sober, if he is going to come banging on the door to fight....all that I know its not normal
2006-11-01 08:41:19 · 10 answers · asked by liyah's mommy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Be happy you got away from him. Respect yourself enough to know you don't need negative energy or people in your life and neither does your son
2006-11-01 08:44:15 · answer #1 · answered by Nicole H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you love some one to a certain extent you will always love them and always wonder how they are. It may be at the back of your head haunting you or it may be in your dreams at night but when you truely love someone there will always be a peice of that person in your heart. It is alot harder when you have children because the person no matter how horrible they were to you will always be a part of that childs life, maybe right now hes not coming to see the baby and if he is the jerk you have explained maybe he will continue to stay away and do you both a favor but eventually that child will want to know about his daddy. It will have to be yor decision what you tell the kid. I hope it works out for the best for you and the baby and you can move on and maybe find that baby someone to be what a real daddy is supposed to be.
2006-11-01 16:52:48 · answer #2 · answered by littlebit02 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he is a drug addicted, mentally and physically abusive jerk. Your expectations are that of a man - hubby is not a man. I know that it hurts - child not having a daddy that gives a damn. I've been there and tolerated a lot so that the child could see daddy. Bad idea - I would have been better off keeping him away from my son and just telling him that daddy got killed wrestling alligators.
2006-11-01 16:48:02 · answer #3 · answered by Jazz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing wrong with u, all u want is a normal man who is respectful, and loving, and all u get is this. you don't really miss him, u miss what u wanted the relationship to be. no judge is going to believe him, and the sooner u get out of this the better.he has so many bad character flaws,if u were smart you would get a divorce and move on and be happy he is out of your life. why prolong what will happen anyway. i would not allow him around my son anyway. you are hurt, you expected him to love and respect you, but look at who your dealing with.u keep thinking he will change and be the man you want in life, but seriously they don't change, they just get worse. don't waste your life on a man who can't give u what u deserve in life.
2006-11-01 21:06:51 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You care because you love your son and want him to have the best that life can offer and you are upset because a drunk, abusive father is not the best that life can offer. You need to move on as best you can and try and find a man that will embrace you and your son.
Good Luck!
2006-11-01 16:45:20 · answer #5 · answered by Gonzo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't care about him; you mourn the loss of what could have been, what shoul have been, adn the loss of the dreams and hopes you had for your marriage and family.
He treats people badly because he's mentally ill and on drugs- don't expect normal emotions from an addict.
You don't need to hate him- you probably just feel pity, for all that he has chosen to discard.
2006-11-01 16:44:37 · answer #6 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because you are a smart, nice, caring and wonderful woman and you love and care about your son. You are doing what is best for him at this time in your lives. And everyone in your life should be very proud of you for being this strong!
2006-11-01 16:45:19 · answer #7 · answered by Littlebit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its because a part of you still loves the person he is without drugs. I think that you still love the person you married and you want him back, but you don't want him to hurt you or your child. Good luck!
2006-11-01 16:45:16 · answer #8 · answered by fonkeemonkee@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, he won't see his son because he's an irreponsible drunk; it's not your fault nor your son's either.
Unfortunatly, no one can force him to be a father and a man. You and your son are better off without him.
Good luck
2006-11-01 16:45:08 · answer #9 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
be happy that he is staying away for your son
your son don't need him if he going to take drug
those feeling you have is because the situation is new
Good luck
& take of your child
2006-11-01 16:50:41 · answer #10 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋