How can you tell if you falling out of love?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for 8 1/2 yrs and we have two kids. I am 3 yrs older than him and I feel that now that I am in myu 30's we are wanting different things- I get irritated with him. I mean everything he does irritates me, he is needy when it comes to people doing things for him(like me) he pays no attention to me and all he does is complain. I mean he is a big time whiner -I honestly do not like to be around him . Is is me or should I honestly consider not being with him

Answer 1

no way honey i went through this my boyfriend and i were together for almost 6 years and we have one child then i fell out of love...i knew i was out of love by the irritation i would feel the moment he walked through the door. and then the sex ....it was none or i would be like would you just hurry up and finish....it took me a few months to finally tell him i did not want to be with him and then that was it i picked myself up and started dating again...in January it will be two years. and i must say we get along great now that we are not together....if you need some support i got your back

Answer 2

Relationships all have their ups and downs. Maybe you are just going through a rough spell. And people all evolve over time. You haven't elaborated on the extent of the different things you want? Major life changing things....like you want to get married and he wants a sex change? Or minor details....like he wants a Jeep and you want a Ford?? When you are with someone for 8 1/2 years, you're bound to go through some changes. If this is something you've been feeling for a long time, you might want to consider couples counseling. If this is something new, you might want to consider changing things up a little from the same old grind everyday....like plan a hot date with him some night, minus the kids. Either way, I think you have a lot invested. As do your children. You don't want to walk away from that too hastily.

Answer 3

Obviously your not happy. Have you talked to him about this yet? If not maybe you should sit down with him before you go to bed and tell him how you feel. The question is do you want things to improve? If you do then ask his advice and opinion on you situation. 8 1/2 yrs is a long time plus two kids. However if your tired and you don't have it in you to try to make things better than maybe you should leave. Any decision you make just make sure the kids are happy too. Good luck

Answer 4

Well, the biggest problem in most relationships is the lack of communication. Mostly everything in life is based around communication...example, flying a plane. If there is no communication, planes would be crashing all over the place. That's what happens in relationships that fail. They crash because of the lack of communication. You just can't expect him to know what you are feeling as if you share the same mind and that goes for him too. You have to let your feelings be known. But when something is bothering you or you don't like something, sit down with him and discuss it without anger or a bad attitude. Again...this goes for him as well. You got together for a reason. Don't just look to throw something away without trying to fix it first. Don't assume he can't change. Work at it first. Communicate. Don't bottle things up. That's not healthy. But talk...don't scream are shout out what bothers you. Sit down with him and show him you are serious and you want to make it work but if he can't meet you half way then you have to rethink the whole relationship. Communication. Give it a try.

Answer 5

Boy, I know your pain on this one. I had two kids with my ex and he just started getting on my nerves so bad I couldn't take it anymore. He would always sit around and complain about work and expect me to feel sorry for him. I did everything around the house and even if he did do something he expected something in return for it. HAHA...I don't think so. By the time we spilt I couldn't even stand for him to touch me, sex meant absolutely nothing so it was barely there, and I wouldn't say I love you when he did. He was very repulsing to me.
I think you need to take a close look at your relationship and see if you want to try to save it and if you don't then I would say leave. I didn't even want to attempt to save mine and that is why I left. Good Luck.

Answer 6

You should ask yourself what tyou like about him, how do he make you feel, how do you feel when you are with him, and is the reason you with him is of the the children. If he is not making you happy,and if you're always annoyed when he is around you, and if the answer is yes to all three question, you need to move own with your life and let him go for your own sake. I hope that this has help you with your delima.

Answer 7

It sounds to me like you stopped working on the relationship just because you think you are older and want different things. Relationships are work, they are not free. You need to comunicate and you need to listen. Maybe he feels you are ignoring his wants and needs, have you even talked to him about any of this, or are you assuming you want different things.

Answer 8

Talk to him about it and try to work the problem out.
Don't just give up. Your kids need you to be there for them.
Don't let this problem be the end of your relationship. Tell him
how you feel.

Answer 9

Well, I wouldn't know because I'm not married or in a relationship like you are now, but if you have problems, thats okay and maybe you could see a counselor and work out your problems.

Answer 10

Move on, he sounds like a an immature momma's boy. You already have two children....Do you want a third. And besides, I wouldn't want to be with anyone 8.5 years and not be married.