he's always trying to get me to like what he likes sexually because he says he cant enjoy these things if I do them if I dont like them too. But I just don't. I love him but he is always hurting me, how can I handle this situation aside from counseling? He has hurt me plenty of times and I feel like I resent him for everything even though I love him. I cant even talk to him about anything that Im feeling if its negative because he over reacts or acts like I shouldnt feel that way. I dont want to leave but I feel like Im loosing myself and that I have no one I can talk to, ofcourse Id rather talk to him and have told him how I have felt numerous times, but I just stopped talking about my feelings because I dont want to piss him off or make him angry at me. And yes I know I need to grow some balls and stand up to him but Im more of a peace maker. We used to fight continuously for three years and I havent actually tried in three years because I would rather avoid all the crying and etc
2006-11-01 07:56:21 · 10 answers · asked by beautifullybroken 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have been that husband. I have hurt my wife emotionally to the point of her leaving because she is tired and doesn't want to try. It has taken this cataclysmic event to open my eyes to what a nasty man i was. I didn't listen to my wife's needs and it sounds like that is what your husband is doing. An animal will satisfy itself with the wrong things because it doesnt know the consequences. We are human and have the choice. Let your husband know your hurting, truly tell him. I wrote down my value system,its hard but look deep inside yourself for what you truly believe in and fell and write it down. I did and it shocked me. By knowing what to change to make myself a better person i have taken the first step. Print off a new list and hang it somewhere you will see it every day. If your husband doesnt want to try, then you have to look into yourself and see if this is where you want ot be. Marriage itself is perfect. The people in it make it not. Good luck.
2006-11-01 08:20:02 · answer #1 · answered by changedmanwanting 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Listen sweetie. You need to get out. No matter how much you say you love him, and how much he CLAIMS he loves you. Your health and your safety is not a gamble and it should come first. Even though he is your husband he should not be doing these things. No guy should make you feel inferior or bad to the point where you feel like breaking down. Love is strong I know, but love can't help you if it gets so rough and tough that you ultimately give up yourself just to be loved. I'm glad you came to get some advice, since you know what the problem is. What you need to do is get your husband some help for his problems and let him know if he doesn't change he will lose you forever. I hope you do this because you seem like to good of a person and you need someone who deserves you and will treat you better. I hope things get better.
Keep your head up!!
xoxo
beauty and brains
(You need to get out of this situation...fast)
2006-11-01 08:04:07 · answer #2 · answered by ♥Chocol@t3 K!$$3$♥ 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Love shouldn't hurt! Plain and simple. Get some balls to leave maybe. Are you happy? Can't quite see how you could be after fighting for three years and being quiet for the next three. So you wanna go for another three full of unhappiness. Talk to a therapist get their point of view I am no professional but for the life of me I cannot figure out why you stay!!!
2006-11-01 08:00:00 · answer #3 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Look, I used to be in a situation similar to yours. I'd leave him or Try counseling. I don't know what you mean by he hurts you. Do you mean physically? Cuz then you should definately leave. Does he say mean things to you? You should tell him to stop. You need to put your foot down. Maybe leave him for a little bit. He might think about treating you right. You should be very happy in your marriage. You shouldn't be afraid of him in any way.
2006-11-01 08:21:21 · answer #4 · answered by moonstar 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Counseling, Compromise, Spine - things you need
The first thing to do is try to comprise. Try to find some common ground. If that doesn't work then counseling would be next. If counseling doesn't work, you need to let him have it. Get a spine and let me know what his priorities are and how they differ from yours. Then you can tell him that he should respect you. But if you guys continue to argue constantly, you need to end it. there is no point in being married to yourself. However, if this was how he was before, you can't change him or his actions.
2006-11-01 08:02:43 · answer #5 · answered by Sexlyfe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you don't want to hear that counseling is the answer but it is. A mediator who can be there to hear both sides and to share insight with both of you. I strongly recommend it. This sounds like a very troubling situation that is only taking a negative toll on you.
2006-11-01 08:02:02 · answer #6 · answered by Happy2bAlive 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see any other way except for counseling. And if he will not go to counseling...then it's time for you to start looking out for yourself.
2006-11-01 08:00:24 · answer #7 · answered by cfalways 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
GOOD GOD!!! you don't talk to him cause you're afraid you'll piss him off!
Time to leave, plain and simple, you two have no chance of making it.
2006-11-01 08:03:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you just need to stand your ground. an tell him that whatever it is he is wanting an you are not is really a turn off for you.
2006-11-01 08:00:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
well you got us to vent to, and it looks like you did...
2006-11-01 10:09:38 · answer #10 · answered by snoogans 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋