I am a 37 year old divorced male...but I have a good job. I am told by a lot of people that I look younger. But for some reason it seems the world has ended for me. It has only been 10 months since she left me for the single life and now has settled down with someone else. I feel lost and alone when I dont have the kids. I want to meet someone but just dont know how anymore. I guess I need words of encouragement more than anything. Any way divorce sucks and if anyone is contemplating divorcing and you once loved that person try like hell to fix whatever it is...especially if you have kids.
2006-11-01 07:50:40 · 18 answers · asked by jpuszkar 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Give it time. Get out and get back into things. It does take awhile, but can be done. I stayed single for over 2 years before I was ready to get back out there. Don't give up hope. When i thought i would never meet anyone again..I did. Your whole attitude will change. Make some new friends and try things that you never have. You will be able to show these new things to the kids too.
2006-11-01 07:55:12 · answer #1 · answered by notfreeinnh 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well you're certainly not old at only 37 years old! You're just out of practice and have a bruised ego at the moment (and a broken heart from the sounds of it). Perhaps 10 months isn't enough time to heal. Focus on yourself and when you're not trying so hard to find someone you will. Don't force it... it will only make you nervous and uncomfortable and things won't go well. When you feel more at peace with your place in life and your situation (even if it was never what you wanted or anticipated) you should slowly put yourself back out there. Get together with friends or co-workers and go out... not necessarily to bars... but wherever... coffee... restaurants, etc. Maybe, eventually, someone will introduce you to someone that they feel you might hit it off with. Don't look too far ahead right now though... don't worry about when or if it will happen... just know that it will... when the time is right.
There's nothing wrong with counseling/therapy either, by the way. You might need someone to work through your feelings with (something men sometimes have a harder time doing). It would be a shame to bring a lot of unfinished emotional business into a potentially promising new relationship and end up ruining everything.
Best wishes.
2006-11-01 08:00:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm married, three kids - but I come from a divorce - my parents were divorced when I was young. Yeah, that sucks about your situation. It sucks for you, it sucks for the kids - but it sounds like your ex made out alright...funny how that works.
Anyway, being the age you are, and having children, it's difficult, but it can be done.
I don't suggest hitting the bar scene, but I have a friend who is single, and a singles group that meets once a week is his thing. Other than that, he's pretty lonely, I think.
It's even turned up a few prospects for him.
That's an option.
I think that the one thing you can do to help your situation is to remain positive, and don't dwell on your divorce or your situation. Women may be interested in you...but they don't want to hear a hard luck story. It makes them feel sorry for you - and you don't need that. Think about the things in your life that are positive - you're young, good looking, and single! Yes, you've got kids. Lots of people have kids. Yes, you're divorced - lots of people are. But what have you got to offer? What do you bring to the table, so to speak? Think about that, it could make all the difference.
Good luck! And take care of those kiddos! They need you now more than ever!
2006-11-01 08:00:08 · answer #3 · answered by gatesfam@swbell.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think most people choose to divorce for no good reason, one partner usually wants out and leaves the other. I am sorry to hear that you feel down, hopefully in time you will meet someone nice. Perhaps you can try going out with colleagues from work or join a gym or club to help the hours fly by when you don't have the kids.
I respect you for being one of few men to look at the situation this way.
2006-11-01 08:19:33 · answer #4 · answered by DownAndOut 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce sucks, amen. Totally agree with you on that. After I got divorced (he walked out to be with someone else), I had very limited opportunities to meet people, due to my solitary nature and "indoor" disposition. Online dating sites were my main source of new "dates"; it took four years of dedicated effort, and I did "fall on my face" a few times, to be sure - but I finally met the man I recently married. We are an amazingly good match, he's even more solitary than I am; if it wasn't for an online personals site, we would never have met. I would encourage you to consider this option; yes, some people will scare you with their "horror stories", but I think you can come up with horror stories just about anything - driving, working, flying, diving, you name it. Taking risks is the name of the game. I've always felt that if you use general common sense and don't do anything stupid, you should be fairly safe doing most things people tell you horror stories about. Good luck.
2006-11-01 08:02:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You think like me, too bad their aren't more people with your view. You will find the right woman, hang in there. I know what you mean by feeling lost without your kids, I have shared custody too and I usually cry and have that feeling of my heart breaking when I have to take the kids to see their dad. But then I think, how lucky for my kids to have a dad that loves them. Though it's not ideal, not raising them in a household with mom and dad. I have re-married, so I know things do work out in the end. Stay strong, get yourself out there - try online dating sites, church singles groups, just stay busy. Love will find when and where you are least expecting it. Get into some hobbies, working out, clubs, whatever you like - just enjoy life. Best of luck to you. And again, I appreciate your view of "try like hell to fix it".
2006-11-01 08:01:02 · answer #6 · answered by Carey L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IM me and I will take you out and have some fun with a night out on the town. Where do you live? I am going thru a divorce and feel the same way. I try to get together with Friends, family and anyone to keep my mind of my kids while they are away. It helps.
2006-11-01 08:02:58 · answer #7 · answered by Joesmoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know how people say that something good always comes out of something bad? You now really know what you should cherish in your life. A person to love and your children's commotion in your house. You can have it all again. Next time, you'll know how to keep it. Right now, focus on being a great dad. When you don't have your kids, focus on doing things for yourself and going places you've always wanted to go. Enjoy your freedom for once. Your contentment with yourself will draw a special person. God bless.
2006-11-01 08:17:40 · answer #8 · answered by trueblue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start going out Pal. Get a life, go trolling in the supermarket grocery lines, Lot's of girls there. Go to the movies, keep busy.
When you get the kids start a hobby with them, build things like model airplanes, boats, etc. Look forward to finishing them with the kids.
Take some counseling, I think you need it. Start in some single groups, Good Luck.
2006-11-01 07:57:18 · answer #9 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am 35 and have been divorced now for 9 years. Lived with 3 since then and have dated my a** off. Still have not found anyone to settle down with, but I will one day and so will you.
2006-11-01 07:56:15 · answer #10 · answered by lifescircle 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋