My babysitter got sick and my fiance and I were not able to attend my friends husbands 30th birthday party. She held the party at a very expensive restuarant ($45 per person). The restuarant charged her for us even though we were not there. She then called to ask me for the money. I could not help not being there..I could find no one to watch the kids. I did call her and let her know what was going on. Do I really owe her?
2006-11-01 07:42:03 · 17 answers · asked by prettyflowertattoo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
were you expected to pay if you HAD gone?
if so, then you should pay even if you were not able to go (if you had RSVP'ed earlier and she was expecting you).
That is rude of her, though, to ask you for the money, in my opinion.
2006-11-01 07:45:30 · answer #1 · answered by Zippy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's pretty tacky of her to ask you for the money. It was her decision to have the party at that expensive of a place, not yours. If you had shown up, would you have been expected to pay? Of course not. Then why on earth should you pay for NOT being there? If not wasting money/food was such a big deal to her, she should have taken your food and offered it to the other guests as second helpings.
Perhaps you could make peace and offer to take her and her husband out to a reasonable restaurant as a post-birthday celebration.
You don't owe a dime.
2006-11-01 15:46:22 · answer #2 · answered by leaptad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure you knew ahead of time how much the dinner would cost. How much notification did you give your friend that you would not be there? Two days? One day? One hour(or less)? You can check with the restaurant to find out how much time they allow for cancellations. If you RSVP and do not give sufficient time to cancel the reservation and your friend must pay, then it is your obligation to pay her. If you gave sufficient time and she did not cancell the reservation, then it is up her to pay. Perhaps there may be some compromise the two of you can work out.
The most important thing to consider is this - what value do you place on her friendship? Is such a small amount worth damaging the friendship or even losing a friend over?
2006-11-01 16:06:22 · answer #3 · answered by sloop_sailor 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like these plans were made a head of time before the sitter got sick. You should always have a back up plan in-case one falls through. I know it isn't your fault that the sitter got sick, but you did make a commitment to be there. I am sure you knew the stipulation if you were not going to go. I would say pay her the money if nobody took home your food, but if someone did take home your food then they should be the ones that have to pay... I would talk it over with her and see exactly what happened.
2006-11-01 15:49:13 · answer #4 · answered by DO IT! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in the same situation. In my case the friend in question asked for the money to cover our meals. the restaurant will charge for you guys anyway even if you don't show, probably because it was a per head group booking. suggest to your friend that the very least you could do would be to pay half. Yes you were not there, and it wasn't your fault, but she is financially in the lurch and half would be the right thing to do.
2006-11-01 15:54:52 · answer #5 · answered by changedmanwanting 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what the proper thing would be to do. Since it was something that was out of your control, and hers. I would offer to pay half. I would tell her you are sorry you were not able to attend but it was beyond your control. It depends on what will happen to your friendship. If you think it will harm your friendship if you don't pay her then maybe its worth paying the $90. Talk with her about it. Since you did RSVP then I can see her side of you paying the full amount whether you were there or not. I'm sure you see both sides too or you wouldn't be worried about it. Good luck.
2006-11-01 15:47:51 · answer #6 · answered by sukesgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you accepted the invitation knowing what the cost would be and the restaurant still charged her, then yes you should have to pay. Its not her fault you couldn't find a babysitter.
2006-11-01 15:47:09 · answer #7 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kinda restuarant was that? Never heard of that. I wouldnt pay but this is a very odd situation. Unless they told them you were going to show up still knowing full well you weren't.. very odd..
2006-11-01 15:46:36 · answer #8 · answered by acezr2wild 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't pay,the restaurant were in the wrong for charging her for the meals,yes you provisionally book for the amount of people you are expecting but if they don't turn up how can they charge.What type of party was this anyway,I've never been to one where you pay for your own meal,an invite is just that unless it was on the invitation that you were expected to.
2006-11-01 15:51:52 · answer #9 · answered by fairyb04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you knew AHEAD of time that everyone was supposed to be paying for their OWN dinner, and you told her you could come, then you should pay. But if you were invited, and then couldn't go, and now she wants you to pay her the money for your dinner, when if you WOULD of gone, it wouldn't have costed you anything, then NO WAY! You were a GUEST and that is completely tacky to ask you to pay when you didn't even eat it!
2006-11-01 15:46:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She probably had to commit to a certain amount of seats with the restaurant. Since you committed to go and she had to relay your committment to them, she was probably "on the hook" for the monies. Therefore, it is appropriate to pay her.
Sorry. Bummer of an answer, but more than likely the case.
Take care.
2006-11-01 15:47:12 · answer #11 · answered by Robert 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋