my ex bf married someone else after our seven years relationship,he said he was forced because the woman made him believe that she was pregnant(the truth came after a few months).I then married his best friend.For almost seven years together,I could say that with my husband,I am completely happy,we have a son,we are compatible and we love each other,everything goes smoothly,I would never wish for another man in my life.I think my husband is the best.BUT..why do I keep on thingking about my ex bf?I got some chance to see and talk to him(he is separated from his wife),I know and I feel that I am not inlove with him anymore..although I want to maintain civil relationship between us.I feel guilty towards my husband everytime that my ex bf enters my mind
2006-11-01 07:31:09 · 18 answers · asked by amie_esprit 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your wondering what would the road not travel have been like? There is nothing wrong with you or your marriage. Please don't feel guilty. However may I suggest you think of ways to spice up things in your marriage. Thinking up of these things might bring back some of the specialness feeling. It will definiatley leave less time to think of the x boyfriend.
2006-11-01 16:47:10 · answer #1 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you might have let part of the reason out in your first few lines... "My husband is a nice man"... Which says a lot... You have feelings for him... but the seven years you were with your ex must have been wonderful to you... and even though your husband is a good person and cares for you and you love him... There's still that spirit of excitement and deep set love that you can't come to terms with for your ex... The problem is that it has always been there, only suppressed... and the guilt comes from that fact that you don't get these same wonderful feelings thinking about your husband... So you feel bad about it... You either have to refocus on your marriage or set yourself free and pursue a relationship with your ex... Those are the only ways to clear your mind and be truly happy...
2006-11-01 08:10:26 · answer #2 · answered by deakjone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you have closure? I don't think you should be talking or seeing this other man (ex b/f). Would you want your hubby to do that? You sound like you have all you want with your hubby, maybe you just need to let go of the ex. If you didn't get proper closure, that could be what is hanging over your head. And if he has re-entered your life that could also be toying with your emotions. I say cut the unhealthy connection with the ex. You broke up for a reason. Stay strong.
2006-11-01 07:36:02 · answer #3 · answered by Carey L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all have a soft spot for our first love. We never forget it and we romanticize it. Sometimes, it wasn't nearly as great as we "remember." Anyway, if you have a good marriage, don't go messing it up by giving way to any temptations with the first guy. He wasn't tricked into marriage. He could have asked to talk to the girl's ob/gyn before he married her, you know. He could have refused to marry her right away, too. Be casual friends, but no more. Don't give your husband any reason to be jealous. You will regret it so much, if you do.
2006-11-01 07:37:26 · answer #4 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you just need closure because after being together for 7 years and then seeing him marry someone else must be very hard. you should talk to your husband about it. also didn't you feel guilty when you started dating your ex bf's best friend?
2006-11-01 07:42:05 · answer #5 · answered by GENNY 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
X's are interesting because they reflect what we thought we wanted or hoped your future to be.
Then we have what it actually is. The X could a little bit of wanting more than what you have right now. How about you spend you time thinking how to get a little more out of life with your husband than thinking way you're thinking about an X.
Good Luck
2006-11-01 07:57:37 · answer #6 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are obviously some unanswered questions and emotions in your heart and mind concerning this man. You need to really be honest with yourself and ask what it is that keeps him on your mind. Then, deal with it and find closure. Maybe you and he sitting down and just talking about what happened between the two of you will help.
2006-11-01 07:36:16 · answer #7 · answered by stacye5398 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably because there was no official closure when you two stopped dating, with all that went on. Trust me, if you're husband means as much as you say he does, you won't worry about maintaining a relationship with this guy. It will only cause more trouble.
Good luck though!
2006-11-01 07:33:20 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs.H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is what a nightmare
You married his best friend!
Now you have a good relationship, but can't stop thinking about your x
Some people thrive on chaos
If thats you, then you should be very happy.
2006-11-01 07:37:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not enough fun and sex, boring life, not too much exciting events.
Plenty of time to do nothing - just thinking about good, the best or excitement time from the past. You are not the only one. Bye.
2006-11-01 07:35:34 · answer #10 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋