My 13 yr old is being bullied by her so called friends at school?

Question

They fell out with her over something really stupid and now they are making her life hell at school. Constantly calling her names and being really nasty, they have turned most of the group she was friends with against her and she is spending all her breaks alone hiding in the library. She no longer wants to go to school and says she wants to change schools. She is in yr 9, and should be doing her sats soon. I have involved the school and they have talked to the girls involved but straight after they were spoken to they carried on. I dont know what to do for the best, the school have advised me against changing her school because of the sats but I dont want her being treated in this way.

Any Advice? Serious answers only please

Answer 1

i was bullied in the same way by my friends, people who i had known since i was 2 turned against me over a silly rumour which they knew werent true. she should try and make new friends and when her old friends say stuff to her she should not try and retaliate because it will make it worse and they will find it funny. if she just looks at them as if she thinks they are immature and stupid then carries on a conversation with someone else then they will soon back off. once they see that she is ok without them then they will back off. if there is no one to become friends with then she should maybe think about moving schools. her sats wont be affected by moving schools, in fact they are more likely to be affected by staying at her school now if the bullying continues. she will get depressed and wont see the point in trying anymore because it is getting her no where. if neither of these are possible then maybe she should try to talk to her friends, i did this with some of mine and explained how they made me cry myself to sleep most nights and they just broke down in tears and couldnt believe what they have done. it is always funny until they realise how much pain they actually cause people. if your daughter ever feels like she needs to talk to someone then if you or her just reply to one of my questions asking for help i will be there...and if your daughter has msn i can talk to her on there. i am in year 12 now and i was bullied when i was in year 10 so the experience is still in my mind to me so i will understand how she is feeling. i hope it works out because the worst feeling is feeling that you just arent good enough anymore.

Answer 2

I was bullied heavily in 6th grade, and neither the teachers, the school administrators, nor the parents of the girls honestly cared a drop. Nothing my parents said or did helped the situation, so when I asked to change schools, they were receptive. I got to make new friends on my own terms, and discovered that the teachers at my new school were more aware of child development, as well as more knowledgeable in their subject matter.

Honestly, the SAT thing sounds like a weird reason for your school to say that transferring will be a bad idea. First, the SAT, while important, is not the only factor in getting into a good college. Second, if she's personally stressed, she's not going to do as well. Third, she can always retake it, if her scores are really poor.

Being bullied "back then" was bad enough, but now girls have access to cell phones, the Internet, and other forms of communication. It's now a multi-media experience, and the embarrassment involved is compounded as a result. A bullied child literally feels like there's no escape. And children don't have the same social, emotional, and mental resources that we do. Confronting or ignoring bullies is very difficult when one doesn't have the experience and confidence to do so.

Answer 3

In my humble opinion your thirteen year old should catch the so called friend alone. Like when the teacher has left the room. Grab the little darling's hair, and start pulling it out while slamming her little head against the desk. And as her hair comes out stuff the excess hair into her purse or desk, and don't quit until the bully is in tears. About one time of that, and the bully will leave her alone, and the other's will have respect for her. It'll make her feel better too. I know how it sounds, but my sister went through the same thing in school once. Afterwards my sister did a lot better at school while the situation will stop being so hard on her.

Answer 4

This is a really hard situation for any mother to be in. When I was in high school just a couple of years ago, I had a similar situation, every last one of my "friends" turned against me. My mother quickly got involved, so did the principal, but this did not do anything to stop the girls.

The only way I was able to get over it was to make my friends think it was not bothering me. Hiding in the library is a natural reaction from a 13 year old girl, and being left out feels horrible. Are there not any other girls gor your daughter to be involved with? Simply, this would be the easiest solution. MAKE SURE to reassure your daughter, that she should not feel threatened by her ex-friends. Make sure she knows she is safe when she is at school, and although the girls might seem intimidating, they cannot hurt her. Like I said the best solution is to get your daughter not to "give-in" to the bullying by hiding. She has to mingle with other friends, and not let them bother her.

Hope all goes well with your daughter, and remember, she will probably forget this in a year or two!!

Good luck

Answer 5

how awful for your daughter to be treated this way, some people can be so cruel and nasty.
it seems that the best thing here is to keep on at the school, why should she be the one to leave, the people bullying her are the ones who should leave, they should be expelled for there awfully apaulling behaviour. these bullies obviously have no manners or no respect for anybody.
perhaps you could arrange a meeting which would involve, the school teachers and the childrens parents and most importantly the children. this cannot go on. it would just be like running away from your problems if you pull her out of the school as she will have to start all over again with making friends and feeling like she fits in. i would seriously consider arranging a meeting with these childrens parents and teachers and the children.
they all need a good talking too!
i hope it all works out and i wish your daughter luck with her exams
xx

Answer 6

Im 13 and I'm having this same problem sadly there isnt much the school can do and she probably wants you to stay out of it. Things like this are really tough. Somehow I'm manging to get throut it and hopefully she will too. I can't help very much because honestly there is nothing you can really do. She has to start making new friends and gain trust from others, soon the other girls will realize what they did was horrible and they may appologize but my advice for her is make new friendds and don't take the old ones back because ot has happend to me with the same group for almost a year. Im done with them and she should be too.

Answer 7

I'm 13 and i had friends which i fell out with i was bullied at school i had my hair pulled kicked and punched and beaten up catching the bus home i had the same problem with the girls after the teacher spoke to them they carried on so my mom got the police involved and the girls were warned for harrasing me and if it happened again they would be arrested it worked they left me alone and even said sorry a few weeks later i hope this helps

Answer 8

When I was 13, I was bullied by people whom I thought were my friends, also..and it's very difficult. Being bullied makes a child not want to go to school..If you were being treated horribly on a daily basis, would you want to go there day in and day out? Try getting in touch with the girls' parents, and letting them know what their children are doing to your daughter. If nothing has changed at that point in time, tell your daughter to focus on the SATs, and working hard to get out of school, because the ones who are bullying her are going to go nowhere in life. I wouldn't have her change schools, because no matter where you go, there's always going to be a group of girls that will pick on an innocent kid.

Answer 9

That is so sad ...i know how your feeling my eldest was bullied at high school for 2 years (13-15yrs) the school was supportive but i got the police involved too as it was carrying on after school and she had been beaten up so i had 2 of the bitches charged ....If it gets physical get the police involved , thankfully it all settled as soon as the other parents were informed . My daughter has left school after 4th year as she didn`t want to stay in school any longer than required which was a shame as she passed all her exams but i don`t blame her . Bullying affects the whole family and is heartbreaking . Give your daughter a big hug and tell her what goes round comes round , those girls will get their comeuppance .....watch this space !

You know it got so bad for my lovely daughter she had to be prescribed prozac , she was feeling so down and had spoke of suicide and that she hated her life etc ..not nice for parents hear their kids speak in this way , she has left school now as mentioned but is still being carefully monitored by her counsellor , she`s 16 in December and due to all this bullying she has been robbed of her teenage years , which in my opinion can be the best years of a girls life , they were for me .

Answer 10

my my my, thats exactly what I think about EVERY time I think of my daughter preparing to go to school. I personally would say go to the parents, but then again they might be just as mean and heartless as their children.... so I would DEMAND that the school take action, there really arent any other choices but to have the cops called on the children for harrasment...you will get more assistance from the school then you would getting the cops involved in my opinion...girls her age know they wont end up in trouble... maybe if they get suspended from school or the parents are brought in for conference they will back off.. If the parents discipline.... I hope I dont have to deal with this I know your heart is breaking =0( good luck!!!!