My heart bleeds from tears
But only on the inside do they appear
This feeling caused wont show
Everyone around will never know
In the corner do I hide these emotions and this pain
Because only to myself can i explain
Forever hidden in a book of hurt and lies
Featured inside are poems of love, pain and wanting to die
The person they all see and think they know
Its not me and the real me wont show
This compassionate and loving girl is not me
This disguise is what they see
So they think they know the truth, when it isnt even here
It will come out but only with a few tears
This disguise protects my heart and soul
Even if it means I have to be fake, wrong and cold.
2006-11-01 07:08:46 · 2 answers · asked by sweet18apparatus 4 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
5 from one to ten scale.
I think it's lacking metaphors.
Your poem pretty much explains everything (the title) and leaves no room for reader's imagination.
Your rhythms and rhymes are good, though.
2006-11-01 07:23:01 · answer #1 · answered by FeelingPurple 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very pretty, but do you have such a book of such strong feelings? 2 or 3 of the lines have too many or few syllables, but it's ok. From 1-10 I'd give it a 7.
2006-11-01 15:23:25 · answer #2 · answered by Peanut to the rescue! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋