Wandering detatched, alone on the street
known as the "Ghost Daughter"
A foreboding presence, bitter and taunting
Killed by her beligerent father
The despairing spirit, once so loving of life
Never passed truely on
Her father so callous to end her life
She hopes for love but gets none
..yes i wrote this myself.i asked earlier and got a lot of good answers. people seemed to like it. im just wandering how it goes with the afternoon people/answerers
2006-11-01 06:49:14 · 13 answers · asked by Me♥Manatees 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
no i dont have issues with my father...ive never even known him.
2006-11-01 07:01:46 · update #1
It sounds like the beginings of another great horror novel or film even. Good job girl friend. Hollywood is calling you soon I hope. Really. I'm wanting to see one like that on the big screen. I love it. 10 stars.
2006-11-01 06:52:38 · answer #1 · answered by dave_83501 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never been too fond of poetry, poets begin with a certain purpose only to be misinterpreted countless times. It's better to be more straightforward.
As far as your poem goes, it's more to the point, so I'll give you props for that, but....
even freestyle poems follow a certain pattern set by the poet, whether it be subconscious or just something the poet develops as he/she continues to write. Your poem is lacking in any type of structure, and psychologically speaking it may be letting into your own personal feelings.
If you are looking to improve it, try to structure it a little better, at this point it is just going from sentence fragment to sentence fragment. It definitely has potential, just tighten the screws a bit.
Hope I helped.
2006-11-01 14:58:13 · answer #2 · answered by Artemiseos 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very nice. It brought a shiver down my spine and a tear to my eye.
2006-11-01 15:08:24 · answer #3 · answered by kim_in_craig 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a good start, but it needs more. I can't picture it when I'm reading it. It's missing detail. Good overall though.
2006-11-01 14:51:34 · answer #4 · answered by ~SSIRREN~ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nice,keep going.â¥
2006-11-01 14:53:15 · answer #5 · answered by E.B. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm thinking mostly that I'm a little hungry. I just had a cherry kiss and it was tasty. I think I need to floss though. Chocolate makes me very dental conscious.
2006-11-01 14:51:34 · answer #6 · answered by Decadence 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Shows talent but is kinda sad.
2006-11-01 14:51:37 · answer #7 · answered by Dee 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I liked it, its good.
2006-11-01 14:52:02 · answer #8 · answered by ~Kricket~ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes its very good,,,,, but sad ,,, well done
2006-11-01 14:52:01 · answer #9 · answered by chass_lee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's okay
2006-11-01 14:51:57 · answer #10 · answered by Genevieve 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋