ex is asking for joint custody of our son, 12, and son is not happy there..
2006-11-01 06:36:44 · 16 answers · asked by cndnstyle 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have a meeting with your son and his father, no step mom, have a mediator present. Let your son feel free to explain why he feels the way he does and what is causing it. Do not be blinded by your feelings. Let the truth be the main focus. Kids sometimes rebel against a situation and it would seem she's being vicious out of spite. Picture yourself marrying a man who's children refuse to give you a chance. Put aside your feelings about the situation and focus on creating a healthy environment for your son to grow up in. If she is being a "wicked stepmother" then take steps to counter his custody suit or claim. But let your son tell all and see if there are any changes. Everything, including what he did to trigger the response. Remember, its his best interest that counts and considering the situation it would be best for him to learn to get along even with difficult people.
2006-11-01 06:50:39 · answer #1 · answered by Carrie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep records of every thing your son tells you about the step-mom. Tell your husband no on the joint custody. If you end up in court ask for supervised visits when the step-mom is involved. Most judges will listen to your son and take his opinion into consideration.
2006-11-01 14:44:07 · answer #2 · answered by BUPPY'S MEME 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there is nothing you can do it's his fathers legal right and at the age of 12 the Young man should be able to speak to his father about whatever discomfort he feels. Sorry, I am a step mother and I am not vicious but..................I don't tolerate any disrespect, arrogance, or anything of that nature from my step children. Initially, most children do feel intimidated by the "Step Parent" because the feel as though we're impeding on their happiness, free will, attention and etc. It is up to the adults and that child or children to work at building a bond and mutual respect as well as being accepting of the relationships (mean child and parent, the parents, and vice versus).
2006-11-01 14:44:36 · answer #3 · answered by souljagirpart2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your son, to do what his father says, and that things will go alright. Step mom, will not be a problem. Mom take a step back, don't think the worst. Wish your son well, and pray for him. Don't let you and your ex husbands business, be his concern. So do not bad mouth your ex, and his wife, in front of your son.
2006-11-01 14:43:50 · answer #4 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's hard in a divorce to not let personal feelings get in the way of the kids. The kids need to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that even though Mom and Dad are divorced, as far as parenting, they are still a team and 100 percent for them regardless of them living apart.
As far as your son, take a deep breath and help him learn to respect his step mom. She is after all, married to his father and you will rise above a nasty situation if you can take a step back from all of this and look to truly help him adjust. Maybe you can watch "Stepmom" together and talk about it.
2006-11-01 14:41:23 · answer #5 · answered by meoorr 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At 12 your son should have some say in where he lives and with who. Have your son document the step mother's actions. That way if you have to go to court you have a record of how she treats him that along with his testimony should have some pull with the judge.
2006-11-01 14:52:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 12 your son has the right to say who he wants to live with. Your son, depending on your ex and how he reacts to things, needs to tell your ex how he feels about his stepmother and why he doesn't want to live there.
Good luck, this has got to be hard to deal with. I am a stepmother and I would be devastated if anything I was doing was making my stepson feel uncomfortable or less than loved.
2006-11-01 14:44:13 · answer #7 · answered by Gonzo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your son old enough to go and or not and tell him to give her a chance not all step mother are mean joint custody is good your son is not a baby he old enough to stand up to her if she that vicious....he be OK ......
2006-11-01 15:33:51 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
has your son talked to his father about the way he felt about being there? Who does the son want to be with? You son is a huge part of this you should talk it through with him and see how he feels and find a way to work it out.
2006-11-01 14:42:42 · answer #9 · answered by Sweetie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your son isn't happy, you can go to court and then the judge asks the son who he would rather live with and why and your son can tell the judge how he feels and why.
2006-11-01 14:40:44 · answer #10 · answered by Gerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋