My son's soccer coach wanted to introduce me to his nephew who was going through a nasty divorce! We hit it off and continued to see one another for about 4 months on and off. My Divorce wasn't going to be final until August although my ex wasn't living at home he moved out! His wasn''t final either. SO needless to say I have3kids trying to work jobs , move etc . My life was a little crazy still going through ups and downs! didn't havea whole l ot of extra time on my hands,he wanted alot of my time which was o.k. but I stillhave responsibilites to my kids they come first I had to get them through this first before I bring another man into their lives well I went to court on august 1st my divorce was final and I didn't hear from the nephew for 2 weeks He ended up going back with his wife said I didn't have time for himI just asked him to be patient! HIs situation was worse than mine why would he do that?? I don't understand now he wants to get back together and dump her
2006-11-01 06:17:18 · 18 answers · asked by sassy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like he is playing head games with his wife and you. If I were you I would just forget about him and there are too many fish in the sea to just hang onto this guy. With you being in a verbally abusive relationship I would just let him go. You don't want to get in another situation like the one you were in. My best friend was in a verbally abusive relationship with her husband and just got recently divorced from him (so I am speaking from experience) Good luck!!!!!
2006-11-01 06:26:59 · answer #1 · answered by turnertot1992 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like this guy doesn't know what he wants.
Don't be in such a rush to get into another relationship. Enjoy being single. And you probably shouldn't get involved with someone who's divorce isn't final.
You want to find a guy that understands your busy life and the fact that your children come first and foremost (gosh, I wish my mom did that). The nephew guy obviously didn't respect your need to be with your kids, your job and all the things on your plate at the moment. Don't go back with him, if he didnt get it the first time, chances are, he won't this time.
Keep looking....
2006-11-01 06:25:08 · answer #2 · answered by Bean 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sassy,
I am the best friend that Turnertot referred to. Here is my advice. A good friend's father told me shortly after I moved out, "You are stronger and more capable than you ever thought you could be." My point is that you need to take control of your life (having come out of a controlling relationship) before you should get involved in another relationship. The nephew doesn't know what he wants, don't get involved with someone whose life is as crazy as yours. Someone has to be the stable influence in the relationship and you don't need the headache of babysitting him while you are still healing yourself. One of the things I have learned in this life is that you must take care of yourself first (I know that sounds selfish, but you can't take care of your children if you are an emotional mess.) Take time to let yourself heal and when you feel you are in better shape to start a relationship, go for it. In the meantime, don't get pulled into another situation where you will be yo-yo'ed emotionally. I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide.
2006-11-03 11:28:39 · answer #3 · answered by ruby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You DO NOT NEED TO GET INVOLVED with another man!!! You have kids and you said they come first SO PUT THEM FIRST!! You think this is a big adjustment for you, what about them this is going to effect their entire outlook on life and relationships sorry to say but its a sad fact of divorce and if mommy is jumping from man to man they are going to think its ok! Take a step back, take a deep breathe and get it together. You shouldn't even be thinking of dating yet. Find happiness in yourself before you throw another man into the mix. SLOW DOWN GIRL!!!
2006-11-01 06:22:09 · answer #4 · answered by HereweGO 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
May be he didn't even go back to her, he could of found another seperated lady.
If you two got along well, then when your ready to have the time and effort for a relationship, look him up, ask him out.
If he's so very impatient and moved on so quickly, may be he isn't the kind of man you want or need in your kids lives.
There' plenty of us single people out here. Kids come first!!
2006-11-01 06:33:31 · answer #5 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's generally not good to start any type of relationship or date when you're still married. People need the time it takes to divorce to overcome the end of their marriage. He sounded like he wasn't handling his own separation very well and wanted to fill his time with a warm body. His excuse about your lack of time was just that- an excuse. It doesn't matter. Don't get re-involved with this guy- he's too emotionally unstable and your kids don't need yet another emotionally unstable man taking their mother's time. Can you just not date for 6-10 months and devote your time to the kids?
2006-11-01 06:23:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm thinking that the nephew wanted to be with you on "The Rebound". He could'nt understand that not only were you going through a divorce,but you had kids to see about. You had to maintain your physical and mental stability for yourself,and for the kids. It was very selfish of him to say,that you did'nt have time for him. You had your own fellings to concider,and to be honest,to go into another relationship so soon,would only detour you from accomplishing your next moves. (Now) that he's back with his wife,he expects for you to put your life on hold,so he can cheat on her with you? I say: "DON'T LET HIM BACK IN". (The moral of this story:?) "HIS LOST-IS YOUR GAIN". You deserve "Real Love" Sista!. (And you will find it!-smile!)
2006-11-01 06:33:50 · answer #7 · answered by Squeakers 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget this man. I am glade you see this before this got any further. For your children's sake, take your time, concentrate on them. Now the next relationship, take a long time, so you can get to know the person. After what you have been through, you owe it to yourself, to think of yourself, and what is best for you. Then you go for it!
2006-11-01 06:25:21 · answer #8 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOURSELF. Why would you jump out of a relationship and into another? Are you that co-dependant? Think of your kids, is this a good example to set?
2006-11-01 06:30:41 · answer #9 · answered by Honeypai 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just got out of a bad relationship, why rush into another.
I wouldn't just walk away from this man, I would run with out looking back.
A fresh new start........you know where you're going....he doesn't.
Best wishes
2006-11-01 06:22:04 · answer #10 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋