Does anyone know the name for the psychological condition by which people hurt others (verbally and emotionally) so that they can help them? I know of two people who seem conflicted in how they treat people. They want the worst for people and almost seem pleased when the other person is hurt or fails. But in the same instance, they want to help the person who they just hurt.
For example, a woman undermines her husbands business and doesn't want him to succeed, yet she wants to help be a part of growing the business.
In another example, a mom is secretly pleased when her children fail and seems to get a high that it gives her the opportunity to financially and emotionally help them. In the same breath, this same mother despises her children who do well because they don't need her help.
If this behavior is brought up to the offender, they insist they only mean well.
Is this a severe case of co-dependence or passive aggressiveness? What is this psychological condition?
2006-11-01 06:03:46 · 8 answers · asked by SixEldest 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
This is a very good question, and is common, I am sure, but with HUGE varying degrees of such abuse. Psychological abuse is far more devastating than physical abuse, especially if sustained for long periods of time , that's what conditioning is all about, it changes the way the abused views almost everything, so completely..(I saw on TV that it scars someone severely forever) Societal and even family dynamics also play a large role in this, peoples need to control, for whatever motive, or sickness. Look at the child-abuser that ends up abusing. Some people who experience loss, want others too also. People who cannot have kids, find other ways of coping with this loss. Also, jealousy, which you touched upon, is an issue. There are SO many factors that influence the ways others act. It is usually a patterned and planned , secretive and usually subtle behavior too, the cycle of abuse, but you covered it all. It is always, as you said, justified in some fashion though, or denied (*), by the accused, or the accuser is labeled as just plain crazy (*If the abuse is done in a more secretive way-which just buttresses not only the intent of the instigator the extreme wish perpetuate this abuse-but also shows the gravity of its severity and sickness-AND by its denial in itself of some by the facts that can be pointed to in regards to this abuse, is the admission, to at least themsleves, that it is known what is being done is wrong, particularly if the accused is confronted over and over on the issue and the issue is not alleviated), Very sad really. Stay away from people like this. Also look up Munchausens (sp) and Stockholm syndrome in relation to these sad states of peoples psyche. And if you have personally suffered from this occurence, and are aware enough of most all of the aspects of its detriment to post of it...don't let it effect the way YOU treat people (in the same way-abuse) , because that would not leave room for excuse, or forgiveness.
2006-11-01 07:15:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a mixture of obsessive compulsive behaviour with a severe case of need attachment.
Some people feel happier when theyre needed thus theyll create problems from scratch so they would be needed by others.
2006-11-01 14:09:39 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
somewhere between being a Schadenfreude, where one delights in the tragedy of others, and a Martyr where they make themselves appear to be doing all they can. just plain ******' parasitical nonsense. i guess it could be Dependent Passive Aggressiveness. the I Told You So's of the world. they all need to be deleted like so much animal-porn. these people seriously lack positive self-image and scruples to indulge in these patterns. another term for it is "Freinemy" (freind-enemy)
2006-11-01 14:22:45 · answer #3 · answered by saturndescends 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy," is a condition that sounds related to the condition you're talking about - it's when mothers supposedly fake or cause a child's illness to attract attention and sympathy.
2006-11-01 14:12:01 · answer #4 · answered by livetall1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would be a species of insanity, for you could never trust anyone who was subject to entertaining thoughts and motives like that.
2006-11-01 19:04:54 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it is some sort of abnormal defense mechanism the person use it to feel important and needed by others which gives him satisfaction... done by people who feel insecure and usually uneducated
2006-11-01 15:35:12 · answer #6 · answered by going-to-light 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try mentally insane/abusive.
2006-11-01 14:06:45 · answer #7 · answered by Lone Eagle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are talking about manipulation.
2006-11-01 14:05:21 · answer #8 · answered by boricua_chick_21 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋