When I was in middle school, I had a best friend. She was a beautiful girl who could be really kind, funny, and smart... but at other times her personality would shift, as if she became someone else. She was very manipulative of me, and would sabotage all my other friendships. This way, even though she was the one causing me pain, I could only turn to her. After awhile, she started being openly cruel and saying really distasteful things to me. Our friendship lasted about three years, despite everything. Towards the end of middle school, we started to drift apart. Rather, she decided I was "weird" and that she didn't want to be friends with me anymore. Towards the beginning of high school, she switched schools to get away from people with whom she had bad memories. I maintained a friendship with her younger sister, who reported that she was doing very well at her new school, which was good. Recently she contacted me saying she was sorry for all she'd done to me. What should I do?
2006-11-01 05:57:51 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
She and I are sophomores in highschool now. I hadn't heard from her in over a year up until recently. I want to believe she's turned over a new leaf and forgive her, I really do. I just don't know how much of it I CAN believe. What she did to me all throughout middle school was REALLY cruel, and I think it might be dangerous to get too close to her again.
2006-11-01 05:59:32 · update #1
Wow, I am amazed and inspired that so many of you went through the trouble of reading all of that to give me advice. Thanks, I love this site already.
2006-11-01 06:10:23 · update #2
Thanks so much for the encouragement, guys. I think I know what to do now. All of you have contributed to my descision, so you've all helped me out TONS. Since I can't pick one of you out as best, I'm putting this to a vote. Thanks again, you guys are life-savers!
2006-11-03 06:06:46 · update #3
give her a chance.
People change
2006-11-01 06:00:14 · answer #1 · answered by Michael L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could contact her and be open to her, but be careful. She has hurt you before, don't be so quick to allow her to manipulate you, again. No one says you have to rekindle the relationship. Forgive her if you can, then move on. I had a best friend all thru high school, she was even my maid of honor, then after the ceremony she told me she had spent the night before the wedding with my fiance'. That was over 28 years ago, I have been married this time for 21 years, and I never spoke to her again, though she did tell me she was sorry-but it was no big deal, its not like I was married to him yet!
2006-11-01 06:05:07 · answer #2 · answered by pitmanette 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive and forget. She was young and kids that age can be cruel for no reason. There is no reason why you should hold this against her now. You could miss out on an amazing friendship for a 13 year olds bad judgement.
2006-11-01 06:08:27 · answer #3 · answered by stephanne1978 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive and forget I say. She's just trying to mend her old ways like when a alcoholic will go around to everyone he's hurt in the past to apologize to make a better future.
2006-11-01 06:06:18 · answer #4 · answered by missgigglebunny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For her to contact you and say she was sorry is HUGE!!!!
We live in a no-fault society, where people just save face...for what?
She has grown to realize what she WAS...you should be happy that someone could come forth with this, and accept her apology, and learn that we are all human.
When we give of ourselves, it really is the greatest gift one can give. Call or write her that you accept her explaination!
2006-11-01 06:03:41 · answer #5 · answered by LovePinkPuffies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does not understand for particular which you does no longer cheat on your husband, yet i think of he'd such as you to... i does no longer text textile him for a drink, yet once you have an pastime in retaining him as a chum i'd advise you invite him on your place for dinner along with your husband, if he makes it he's the two smitten with you or he in basic terms needs a chum. the two way enable your husband understand what's happening. stable success, wish this helps.
2016-10-03 04:19:53 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey, let bygones be bygones, you need to put the past behind, thats exactly what she did, but in order for that you need to forgive first, then forget. M not saying you get too close to her but mid school is mid school we do crazy things then. Now that she is adult, she is apologetic (hopefully you will be adult enough too accept it)
2006-11-01 06:30:12 · answer #7 · answered by atts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that's all in the past and forgotten, then avoid her like she has the black plague. You don't want to fall back into that kind of relationship.
2006-11-01 06:08:56 · answer #8 · answered by J P 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you should except the appology...see how shes doing, whats new...maybe she had problems as a kid and now shes searching for help and your her only chance! I say hear her out and see what she has to say...
2006-11-01 06:02:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ooooh that sounds like a person you should stay away from. forgive her but dont get too close to her.
2006-11-01 06:03:44 · answer #10 · answered by karla3211 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept her apology, but tell her that chapter in your life has closed and you have moved on.
2006-11-01 06:01:31 · answer #11 · answered by aloneinga 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋