Husband problems! What do I do?

Question

My husband is driving me nuts! We are in a bind financially. We were doing okay until he quit his last job. He has recently found a new one, which pays well. Between us, we have seven dollars, and owe his mom over a thousand. I am almost 8 months pregnant, and will not be able to work much longer. He is planning to use his paycheck (which he calls "our" money) to fix things on a truck that ain't tore up. We have many bills and no money. I hate having to ask his mom for cash, and my parents aren't able to help out. I recently lost my job, and have no prospects in sight. My car is dead on empty, and he will have to get a ride home from work today. My four year old doesn't understand why Mommy can't afford to do things that grandma can do. Talking to him don't work. I guess what I'm asking is this: do I set a budget and demand that he stick to it. We live with his mom, and have no bills. She always pays for groceries, so the only thing we have is gas and his stupid skoal habit. HELP!!

For those too stupid to understand me, what I meant was we don't pay for anything in my mother-in-law's house (utilities, phone, groceries, etc.). He has medical bills and stuff from before we got together that ain't getting paid. The things on his truck aren't torn up, but the steering wheel sticks when you turn it. What I meant when I said that about the job was that even if I could find another job, I won't be able to work much longer. Please don't try to help if you can't comprehend simple English. What I wrote was not that confusing. Plenty of others got it.

Answer 1

Wow. This guy's a real winner. But then, you married him, so you deserve what you get. I look forward to seeing you on the Jerry Springer show someday.

Answer 2

The number one thing now days is young people that don't regulate their money, they need a budget.

Whether you live with his mom or not and it doesn't matter who pays for the groceries. Both of you sit down and figure what goes into the kitty and what goes into Grammas pocket for rent, for groceries and, you didn't mention kids just the pregnancy.

The truck, if it's running, shouldn't have to have "goodies" on it, I know what he's doing.
Stick to the budget. Once a month, pick a day, say the third. Sit down and figure what goes for groceries, mom shouldn't have to support you, what goes for living expenses, what goes for gas, clothing, bills, etc. Stick to it.
Start a bank account and put the extra in it. Do this until you have enough for an apartment and leave mom, got out on you own. That's why they call it married, you leave the nest and start your own family.

Stick to that budget no matter what. Hope this helps. and, stop that skoal habit before your teeth fall out or worse.

Answer 3

Tell yer boy to grow dafuk up! He has children now and you and the kids are his first responsibility. I could see fixin a broke truck, but to spend money on 'bonus' parts is just stupid right now.
You have no bills, so you should be saving all paychecks except to pitch in for food and such. I'd start with setting an amount you can give to your Mother In Law (God bless her!) every pay period. Then i'd figure out how much you can pay towards that $1000.00 every check. Finally, I'd be putting away half that check in the bank in a joint account that requires BOTH your signatures to withdraw from. You will be needing baby stuff again, so you better have something put back for expenses. Notice I didn't put away anything for truck parts. If the truck runs, it doesn't need anything but gas. You'll be there for a while yet, but eventually you'll save enough to get your own place.
Again, tell your boy to act like a man and take care of his family.

Answer 4

If you need help with groceries without feeling that you owe everybody, and you truly need it...I suggest getting on food stamps. I hated doing it, I was too proud, but when you need it, you need it. If you are already on medicaid, then it should be no problem. You also need to set a budget, which is hard, but the best thing to do, and give him an "allowance" each week, to buy what he needs(skoal). I know this, because me and hubby smoke, and it is hard to just stop, it can make for irritable people. Then the rest can go to bills, gas etc... Also, get rid of any bills that are not important, take something back that you are paying for but don't need. Me and my husband lived like that for a while, it was hard, but we got through it. And I know that if we were put in that situation again, we could get through it. I am sorry for your situation, and I wish you the best, in life and the baby. :)

Answer 5

OKAY, WHICH IS IT? DO YOU HAVE "MANY BILLS" OR "NO BILLS"? YOU SAY BOTH IN YOUR QUESTION THERE. YOU ALSO SAY THAT YOU ARE "8 MONTHS PREGNANT AND WILL NOT BE ABLE TO WORK MUCH LONGER", BUT THEN YOU SAY THAT YOU "RECENTLY LOST YOUR JOB". AND HE'S PLANNING ON USING "OUR" MONEY TO FIX A TRUCK THAT "AINT TORE UP", BUT HE'LL HAVE TO GET A RIDE HOME FROM WORK. WHAT?

MY QUESTION IS THIS. IF HE HAS A NEW JOB THAT PAYS WELL AND YOU LIVE WITH HIS MOM AND SHE BUYS THE GROCERIES AND YOU HAVE NO BILLS EXCEPT GAS AND SKOAL, THEN HOW IN THE WORLD CAN YOU BE BROKE?

I'M SORRY, BUT WITH ALL OF THIS CONFUSION HERE, I HAVEN'T A DAMN CLUE AS TO HOW TO HELP YOU. GOOD LUCK THOUGH.

Answer 6

First off I know how you feel, I have 6 kids and my husband works a dead end job. Last week my gas,electric, and water got cut off. All I get is disability check cause I can't work. I know it is easier said then done to get on a budget! My mother in law helps out alot also. I do not really see my husbands money but I do know he supports a gambling habit. I always feel things come in bunches (bad luck, good luck) So I hope your good luck comes soon. Yes, you may have to get on food stamps and medicaid for the kids. Do not think of it as giving up but as making it eaiser for your children. I learned long time ago men are men and now I focus all my energy on my kids and how to make thier life better! Good luck with the pregnancy!

Answer 7

You have to know that this will pass. The most important thing is for you to take care of you and deliver a healthy baby. It sounds to me like your husband needs a reality check. He needs to get his priorities together. Fixing a truck that needs no work is a sign of immaturity when he has outstanding debts and a pregnant wife. You should absolutely set a budget and demand that it is adhered to. If he is not willing to do that then you may be better off doing things on your own.

Answer 8

You need to keep your story straight. You tend to deviate in the telling. Dont see how you were "doing ok, til he quit his job", if you owe his mom over a thousand. And you live with her, and have no bills, yet you have many bills. Make up your mind. Obviously you've been living with his mom for some time, since you're working on your second child.
Sounds like you both need some assistance with financial management......+ some life planning as well. Please get some professional help.

Answer 9

I can understand your problem.... my step-dad was the same way with my mother. She used to think letting him act that way was the only way to keep him around, until she had had enough. She finally took control put him on a strict budget and got her life in order. In the process she found out that is what he wanted all along, someone to take care of him(could be y ya'll are living with his mother). I think you need to do what you have to do with the money and show him that everybody will feels much better with all your bills payed and not owing anybody. So be strong, he will fight it in the beginning but will come around when he sees you have it under control.

Answer 10

From your letter I gather that the permeating issue is the lack of funds and a mismanagement thereof. Money troubles tend to stress relationships. They say money doesn´t buy happiness, but neither does poverty. So i would advise to first (and whether you go to a library or buy this book) read The Richest Man In Babylon by George S.Clason http://www.amazon.com/Richest-Man-Babylon-George-Clason/dp/0451205367 . Managing finances in this outline is fail proof. Now that you have the tools to manage funds, request you handle the funds, on a wait and see how i do it better proposal. No gas, bumming grocery money, owing money, liberal spending (on whatever) is a sure way of running your family finance and life expectancy into the ground. Someone has to take control of a sinking ship! Good luck.

Answer 11

So where does the money go? Not to rent or living expenses? That boy needs to grow up. Set a budget, get mom-in-law to back you up, and make him stick to it. He really should be giving his mom some $$$ too since she's letting you all live there. If he refuses to stick to it, then have his mom threaten to kick him out of the house.