My fiance and I went to a car dealer a a few days before I got enaged. He was buying his parents a brand new car when they aready had a car. The car dealer thought I was his wife but my fiance said that I was a good friend. Him introducing me as a good friend to the car dealer bothered me. So I discussed it with my fiance and he said the car dealer doesn't need to know his personal life. A acouple of days later he went to the car dealer again without me & my fiance and him have been talking about me. Because my fiance told me so. Now when he goes to get oil change or a free car wash there he doesn't go with me. When we were spending time together one day he needed to see the car dealer so he dropped me off at my house & picked me up after he was done. When I call him while he is working he sometimes doesn't say that he loves me. He just talks to me like he would talk to casual friend. But when we are alone he is very lovey dovey. I am Indian he is white. Is he ashamed of my race?
2006-11-01 05:39:20 · 29 answers · asked by Hot C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sorry to say...Wow...it sounds like it. But how does he treat you elsewhere? that could tell you. How does he act with you and his parents?
Maybe he didn't want the salesman's prejudice to influence the deal.
Maybe not ashamed...but the difference is proving not to work to his advantage. Maybe it's just that you're a woman. My husband works at a dealership and he said that when a "family" comes in, his colleagues (he doesn't sale) will amp up everything hoping that the female would influence the husband to spend more. A man going by himself often appears more in control.
Good luck
EDIT: Saying that he is gay is a little extreme. But you did say that his parents already had a car and he still went there and continues to...
You should definitely talk to him and let him know how things appear. If he cares at all, he would correct himself. If he doesn't...then be glad you are just a fiance'. There's still time to negotiate or change your mind.
2006-11-01 05:41:58 · answer #1 · answered by Flighty 1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am Indian too, and my fiance is also white, I think whenever you are any other race outside of what everyone else is (depending on where you are), you can sometimes feel apprehensive about meeting new people or going to new places cause your consistantly thinking, 'do they like Indians?' (or whatever race you are)
What my question to you is, why is he spending so much time with this car dealer guy? I think introducing you as his girlfriend isn't that personal. I would probably feel the same way as you. You need to sit down and talk to him about the way you are feeling that he is treating you. If your getting married, then you should be able to sit down with your partner and tell him or her what is bothering you, especially if it is something that they're doing.
It's possible that he doesn't even realize how his actions are making you feel. I have the same problem with my fiance, he won't realize he hurt my feelings sometimes until I make him aware of it. He can't read your mind...tell him.
2006-11-01 13:53:54 · answer #2 · answered by Bean 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is either uncomfortable with the intercultural relationship or he's into this car dealer or he's playing head games with you. Either way, it's a bad situation for you and emotionally abusive. Introducing a fiance as a friend is not normal and hurtful in so many ways. This relationship needs to end ASAP! Run as fast as you can and don't look back!!!!! It's not going to get better, only worse....so much worse.
2006-11-01 13:52:17 · answer #3 · answered by eightieschic 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No dear, he isn't ashamed of your race. It sounds like he's ashamed of your gender. If he tells a total stranger that you're his "good friend" and now he won't take you around the car dealer any more, I'd say he is gay as a day in May. I'm sorry. It just sounds very very suspicious to me.
2006-11-01 13:42:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm gonna have to agree with some people here, he's either ashamed or gay. Sorry hun! Look at it this way, right now is a good time to find out what your getting into, cuz when you're in it it's too late. Best of luck!
2006-11-01 14:01:30 · answer #5 · answered by It's Me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a possibility I hate to say, but I was dating a guy who wasn't really handsome and when we were in public I tried to walk slightly behind him so people wouldn't know we were together. I realize i was superficial because he was the best thing that ever happened to me and I let him get away because of my pride. Also, if you are having these feelings most likely its true what you are feeling. I hope this was some help to you I'm sorry you are going through this.
2006-11-01 13:46:30 · answer #6 · answered by Tammi R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your over reacting though I'm not really sure that this is a race issue. Regardless you really need to think about his actions decide if this is how you want to be treated for the rest of your life. What your seeing here are signs of his future treatment of you and honestly I don't think it is very good. A man who loves a woman should be proud of her and want to show her off and take her every where.
2006-11-01 13:42:46 · answer #7 · answered by rkrell 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He said he doesn't want the guy to know his business, but he could've easily just said "this is my fiancee" and leave it at that. I'm not sure his exact reasons for claiming you were a good friend - unless he is potentially gay and into men?? I don't know. Most guys don't hesitate to tell another guy that "this is my woman." Observe how he is around everyone else...but being that he gave you a ring - he obviously loves and cares about you because that is a huge step.
2006-11-01 13:52:00 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to say if he's ashamed- are you Westernized in your style and dress, or do you go for the traditional Indian look with saris and a bindi? Something is going on, and I think you should put the marriage on hold.
2006-11-01 13:54:04 · answer #9 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you're over reacting, the thing about we girls is that we let everything bother us,as soon something seems a little strange the first thing we think is *NEGATIVELY*You need to discuss this with him be upfront and tell him what is bothering you and tell him why you feel this way.....I mean you guys are engage thats serious so if things seems to bother you again you need to conslut with him I'm sure you are going to feel better but please do tell him how you feel....
2006-11-01 13:53:32 · answer #10 · answered by sweety 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋