Can somone tell me what the difference is between a gay person and a transgendered person?

Question

People Magazine article makes it sound like there's a difference. Do they mean a gay person is someone who is say, female, who wants to be female and feels female, but is attracted also to women and that a transgendered person is someone who is say physically female but mentally thinks/feels like a man inside and wishes to be a man or thinks they are a man and is attracted to women? Except, it's confusing because there are many who call themselves "gay" who seem to be more like, for example, a woman who is more masculine than feminine and the woman they are with is more feminine. Ellen Degeneres is the only example I can think of -- she seems more "manly"/less feminine to me, but her partner seems feminine. So I guess that's where I feel confusion about gay vs. transgendered. Many gay couples that I know of, it seems like one of them is more like a man and the other is more like a woman (but both are same sex). How does that fit in with gay vs. transgendered? Thanks for any help.

Answer 1

jin almost has it right on the transgendered part. being a TGirl myself, this is the easy part to tell you.
transgendered means simply that you identify yourself with the sex opposite that you were born of. in my case, male to female. you do not necessarily have to have had surgery to be transgendered. it merely means that you present yourself in public as the gender of YOUR choice, not of your birth.
also being transgendered does not make you automatically gay. in my case, prior to my surgery (MTF) i am VERY heterosexual. however, AFTER my surgery, i will definitely be lesbian. this is the case with a lot of MTF transsexual women. its just easier for us to "get our minds around being with a woman than a man". afterall prior to the surgery, were we NOT with women in the first place??? i know I was...i have 2 teenage sons to prove it.

Answer 2

You've mostly got it in the first bit. A gay person is comfortable with their physical sex and gender, and is attracted to people of the same sex and gender as they are.

A transgender person is someone who's not completely comfortable with their physical sex; it's a pretty broad term tho, and applys to people who are mostly happy with what sex they are but sometimes like to dress and be percieved as the other sex, but also applies to people who are so uncomfortable with their physical sex that they need to live as the other full time and even have surgery.

One usually has little to do with the other... someone can be physically female and wish they were male, but still like guys or girls or both.

And the fact that the term is so broad that it could, technically, cover people like Ellen is one of the more common criticisms of the term, although it's also what makes it useful for people who are still coming to terms with their gender identity (it's easier to admit to being transgendered when you're unsure if you want to live fulltime as the opposite gender or just like looking the part some of the time.)

Personally, I wouldn't say Ellen is transgendered, she's just kinda 'butch;' she doesn't try to look like a boy (most of her clothes are still things you wouldn't see a guy wearing, even if they aren't dresses and skirts) and she still identifies as a woman, she's just not into being traditionally feminine.

Answer 3

A gay person is someone who falls in live with peoplwe of the same sex. Or has a sexual attraction to people of the same sex Or gets crushes on people of the same sex and MARRIES people from the same sex.
A transgendered person is someone who was a guy before but had a sex change(having an operation and taking medication to give you the body parts of the opposite sex) to make him into a girl and vice versa ie from girl to boy...A transgendered person is not necearilly gay but feels cofortable being a person of the opposite sex with their body parts and all for example, a girl who is a tomboy dresses like a guy and may act and think like a guy and preferes to hang out with guys. However if she was to be trangendered, she would have to get a penis and have her boobs removed and take medication that would help her grow a beard and chest hairs and make her body look like a guy ie loose the hips.

Answer 4

Whoa, there's a lot of confusion here, but you seem genuinely curious, so I want to help you out.

Okay, gay individuals are those who identify as men and are sexually attracted to men. Lesbians are those who identify as women and are sexually attracted to women.

Now, what does it mean to 'identify as ____'? Interesting question. It is whatever you feel you are (male or female), whether or not your body matches that feeling or not. There are some people who do identify as neither either male or female, or they identify as both, or feel that they are a mixture of male and female characteristics. These individuals are transgender. Note: transgender individuals do not want to be the other gender; they are not trapped inside the wrong body. People who feel that way are transsexuals, and usually they take measures (surgery and hormones) to make their insides and outsides match. Transgenders, on the other hand, either blend gender characteristics or eschew normal gender roles, and, much like transsexuals, their gender identity is completely separate from their sexual orientation.

Now, you bring up a good point- what's the difference between transgenders and those who merely don't follow traditional gender norms? Ellen, as you've pointed out, is not the epitome of femininity, yet, if you asked her, I doubt she would identify as transgender. I'm sure she feels she is female; her argument would be 'What is a woman?'. When does one cross the line between being a little bit butch/tomboyish (or, for men, a little feminine) to being transgender? In my mind, it is mostly an individual preference- how you choose to define yourself. For example, one man may like wearing girly clothes out in public and say he is transgender, another may do the same and say 'I'm not transgender'- I'm challenging gender stereotypes. Who says a man can't wear a dress?'. Does that make sense? I hope so, because it is confusing. In the most clinical sense of the term, though, anyone who does not conform to traditional gender roles (i.e. masculine women, feminine men) are transgender- since they trans (cross) genders.

To further complicate things, some gay people do identify as transgendered, and that throws a wrench into our understanding. Does that mean all gays who look more feminine or more masculine than they 'should' are transgender? Or that all transgenders are gay? Of course not. There are feminine straight men, masculine straight women, and a bevy of feminine lesbians and masculine gay men. As said before, gender identity is completely separate from sexual orientation.

You note that a lot of gays have a masculine/feminine, yin/yang sort of thing going on, despite them both being men or both being women. That's true, although there are a lot of femme/femme and butch/butch relationships, too. Again, this has little to do with gender identity. Some people are the more dominant in a relationship, others are more of the givers, and this is an individual trait. In terms of looks, a lot of people like that- go see butch-femme.com, a lesbian site dedicated to lesbians who love the dynamic of butch with femme. They have a section for TG (transgendered) butches, but they also have sections for those not- demonstrating that just because you like the dynamic of butch/femme does not mean that gender issues are a part of it.

Looking back at what I wrote, I'm not sure it's all clear. It's a confusing topic, but I hope I made a little sense. If you want, I'd love to talk to you about it! Just e-mail me.

Cheers!

Answer 5

i'm going to go a little overboard with explanation, but maybe this will help:

all relationships need balance. some have a dominant person and a submissive person and some have two equals. even in heterosexual relationships a female can be dominate with a submissive male.

as far as the orginal question, a gay person dates people of their same sex. a transgendered person is one sex at birth and has a sex change operation to change their sex. the term transgender has more to do with changing sexes than sexual preference. though i can't necessarily understand why, for example, a man would change to a woman and still date women.

Answer 6

are you serious? a homosexual (gay) person is one that is sexually and emotionally attracted to someone of the same sex. transgender is a term that includes many groups, but has become synonymous with transsexual. a transsexual is person born with the wrong sex organs...man in a woman's body or woman in a man's body. some transsexuals take hormones and have surgery to correct the problem.
all the masculine verses feminine crap you talk about is just stereotype garbage.

Answer 7

Gay is someone that is attracted to the same sex. Transgendered is someone that was born one sex and doesn't feel they should be that sex and has never felt comfortable being the sex they were born. Just because you're transgendered doesn't mean you are gay though

Answer 8

"gay" people know they are male or female, and are ok with it, but are attracted to members of the same sex as them. Transgenders are not ok with the sex they have, feel its a mistake, want it changed..

Answer 9

gay is outward directed -- you are happy with who you are and prefer people of the same gender for love and intimacy.

transgendered is inward directed -- you are NOT happy with who you are, you believe you should be of the other sex, and you like people of whichever gender you prefer.

The two are not related.

I am gay, I would rather (no offense please, this is me, not saying that there is anything wrong with women) be shot than be turned female, or have sex with a female. I have female friends, but I am happy as a male and happy with a male.

I hope that helps.

Kind thoughts,

Reyn
[e-mail]

Answer 10

A gay person is someone who is physically attracted to a person of the same sex.

A transgendered person is someone who has had their gender surgically changed.

Being transgendered doesn't automatically make you gay.