I have been in a realtionship for 5 monthes on Nov.7 and my boyfriend has been telling me that he wants to me to have his baby,marry me and that he loves me. I know he loves me and I love him with all my heart but are we rushing things. But i am under the age of 21 and I really dont wana loose him but we i kinda dont wana get married so soon. Well half of me dose becuase I love him but the other half says no im to young and I need to enjoy life. I dont wana have a baby so early (my grandma tells me wait untill u have been married for two years to know if you are comfertable with living with this person. But should I do....
2006-11-01 05:05:59 · 11 answers · asked by I_Taste_Like_Candi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dont rush into anything especially at such a young age there are so many people out there that do it and you know what it doesnt work out. You havent really experienced the world. How do you know what makes you truely happy? Your too young to know these things. Just take things slow and you should wait until after your 21 to get married so many things happen then in your mind that will open up your eyes to so many different things. Please please get on birth control or something make sure you are done living life and experimenting before having children.
Be strong and hold your ground your far too young to be considering something like this just let him know that this is how you feel and that you both still have some growing up to do as it is. HOLD YOUR GROUND and dont let him pressure you into anything. I can tell you right now its a huge mistake.
2006-11-01 05:11:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just answered your own question - you're not comfortable with rushing things. And you're absolutely right. DO NOT do anything that you're not comfortable with. If this relationship is "for real", it will happen evetually. If things don't work out because he didn't get "his way" - this would not be the kind of relationship for you to be in, anyway. Just tell him that you want to take things slow, and that if both of you still feel the same about each other in a year or two, you will start thinking of having a family and all this good stuff.
I'm 32, just got married, and haven't had kids yet - we're just starting to think about it. You have PLENTY of time still. Good luck.
2006-11-01 13:15:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is great that your guy is being open & honest with you! You need to respond with the same kind of love & character by being totally open & honest with him back.
Relationships should never be entered into lightly, no matter what anybody tells your or how much fun you want to have in life.
You can enjoy life even when you are married! I know, tough to believe because so many people want to tell you otherwise, but that's because they probably entered into theirs without totally being honest and open with their partners.
Don't be confused though, marriage is a serious & life-changing decision. You need to be sure that you & your guy are both ready to make that kind of committment to eachother for life! If you are only willing to give it a try, it will fail.
Babies will come when they come, you will both know when you are ready for that, that's for sure!
If you guys truly love one another and are able to openly and honestly communicate with eachother then this decision will be an easy one to make.
2006-11-01 13:44:54 · answer #3 · answered by chakuta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must be joking. Please, don't have a baby with some guy who you have dated only 5 months. You may love each other, but babies change things and you really don't know eachother well enough to say if you can handle being parents together. Yes your grandmother is correct. You have so much life to live being only 21. Enjoy your youth then have a child.
2006-11-01 13:11:57 · answer #4 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you rush into a marriage, you will be rushing to get divorced. If you both love each other, then you can wait a few more years before marrying. It will give you time to save up your money for a nice wedding.
2006-11-01 13:17:49 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your grandma.
A baby isn't a little toy to prove your love; it's a human being that needs 24/7 care for the next 18 years.
2006-11-01 13:14:46 · answer #6 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you are a very committed person and you are struggling because you don't want to be committed to any one thing or person at this time in your life. Marriage is a lifetime commitment, or it should be, and you don't want your children to suffer from your mistakes or unhappiness. If he is not willing to understand how you feel about this then he is trying to control you. Be warned, this can lead to disaster.
2006-11-01 13:49:36 · answer #7 · answered by bydingtyme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please be honest. Marriage is a big step. Don't rush into it. If you guys are meant to be together you will be. Marriage is wonderful but only when both parties are mature and able to handle all that comes with it.
2006-11-01 13:22:22 · answer #8 · answered by me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him that you love him, but you are not ready to get married. There is no reason to get married at your age. If your love is true love, it will last forever no matter when you get married.
2006-11-01 13:09:50 · answer #9 · answered by Bill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him what you are telling everyone here. You may want all of this later and let hime know you want that with him...someday.
2006-11-01 13:11:14 · answer #10 · answered by jrhod263 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋