I am single and in my 30's. I am having my second child and am happy. But my family is made of pastors and I feel guilty. Whenever i tell people I am pregnant, I feel critisized, even if they are not critisizing me. I hold my head high and show my pride, but inside, I feel like a dirty little sinner. How do I let go of childhood brainwashing and feel the pride and happiness deep down?
2006-11-01 05:04:35 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
first of all, if they are true Christians then they know that they are NOBODY to judge. Only God is the one who judges. If you repent, then you have nothing to be concerned about. They are sinners if they judge you (all sin is equal). Second of all, CONGRATS!! (on your baby) Hope all goes well for you.
2006-11-01 05:13:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well a couple of thing.
Are you able to properly provide for these children?
Are you able to properly spend time with these children?
Are you able to properly attend to the needs of these children?
Putting shame on a single parent is wrong but at the same time 1 good parent vs 2 good parents working together will never match up. So choosing to bring a child into the world as a single parent on purpose and not by accident is not the smartest move.
At the same time, not every couple provides 2 good parents, so with that in mind, it a good chance that 1 good parent is much much beter than 2 parents where 1 is good and the other is bad or worse 2 bad parents.
So you have to look at things in relitive terms. Is it the best and smartest thing to do. NO
Are there additional religious influences that will identify this as wrong. Yes but they should be more tolerant and welcoming but we all know their not.
Will society look at you funny... Yes and no. Some will, some won't.
My personal feeling is that if you are properly taking care of your childern and somehow working a job at the same time, then God bless you and I wish you the absolute best. Because on a comparison scale in my mind it's not optimum but it beats the heck out of abusive 2 parent families.
2006-11-01 05:16:54 · answer #2 · answered by John 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to realize that you are the only one you need to make happy. You are the only one who has to live with your decision. Not them!! If you are happy about your pregnancy, continue to be happy. Just because you are single does not make it wrong. Your family, while I'm sure their convictions are well meaning, have no right to tell you how you should feel. I used to be very religious as well, but I have come to realize that the only morals or ideals that matter are the ones that you have developed for yourself. The Bible, was written by the Church and they wanted to control the actions of the people of their time. Your family has based their livelihoods on that book. So they have a vested interest in having as many people as possible believe the same way they do. My wife's Grandmother is another of those like in yor family. The difference is that she goes to church on sunday but refusese to practice what she preaches. She will berate and belittle my wife for the decisions she makes. If she only knew my wife was a wiccan... Bottom Line: You only have to live a good life in a way that makes you feel good. Do not let anyone tell you different. P.S. Good luck with your new Baby.
2006-11-01 05:18:28 · answer #3 · answered by flyerball 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of whether you are single or not, a child is a blessing from God and your family should understand that first-hand. Remember that only God is your judge, not your family. We all make mistakes...that's why we're called humans. However, this child should never be lead to think or feel that they are a mistake so you may need to just stand up to your family and let them know how you feel 1. about your baby and 2. about how they are acting. Otherwise, they may unintentionally make this child feel unaccepted in the future, just as you are feeling now. Try not to feel guilty nor allow them to make you feel that way. All things happen for a reason...including your pregnancy...remember, this too is a part of God's divine plan for your life. Who knows...this baby may also be a lesson in humbleness for your family members. Good luck and God bless to you and your baby. Congrats on your lil' one!
2006-11-01 08:55:18 · answer #4 · answered by April 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move to another Town/Country
The onle questions I would have are: did you plan for this child, will you let the Bio dad be in the childs life or was he just a donor and source for child support, do you plan on remaining single and making your children latch key kids while you are working or whatever. I would say these are probably some of the questions you asked by your family which would be very reasonable to ask.
2006-11-01 06:57:11 · answer #5 · answered by brhntr51 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know exactly where you are at. But the bottom line is God sent this child to you to guide, mold, and nurture, and your focus is on your baby/children. As tough as your well meaning family is trying to be, do what you feel is right for you. YOU. I know someone who in order to excape all of the negative vibes packed up her kids and moved away. But that was a drastic case. Those negative will impact your children's self image if you are not careful. Concentrate on having a beautiful, healthy baby, the rest will work itself out. Many blessings...
2006-11-01 05:17:59 · answer #6 · answered by Lucky Lola 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody can judge you. No human has been given the right to judge another human being. God is the one and only one who can decide such things. Don't worry about what your family says or what other people think. If your family can't be happy for you, then I am not sure if you need to consider their opinion about what they think of you.
2006-11-01 05:22:21 · answer #7 · answered by The Prince 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hallo well u just keep being happy because a baby is a beautiful gift and because some ppl think its wrong cuz ur a single mother don't let it stop u from being happy in ur pregnancy and be confident of who u are and if ur happy I'm sure ur family will also be happy 4 u and I'm sure u will be a GREAT MOM !
2006-11-01 05:18:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are happy. If anyone has a problem with that then it's their problem, not yours. Since you already have a child then you already know the joys of motherhood.. Just remember that joy when you start feeling guilty.
2006-11-01 05:15:31 · answer #9 · answered by theoriginalquestmaker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a wonderful Mommy to me. What you're doing is really hard and about to get harder but you're happy about it. That says to me that you're a very loving person.
And that's something to be proud and happy about.
2006-11-01 05:30:37 · answer #10 · answered by pixiest 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋