My hubby is a great husband, step father, dad. He's a good provider, a nurturer, intelligent, etc. We get along great. Except one thing he has had always (we've been together 7 years). He gets moody. I'm sorry but it's starting to make me VERY angry. People around me affect my moods greatly. Thing is he'll be moody over what I think is the DUMBEST things on earth.
The problem is that having a mood for an hour or two would be okay. But it lasts for like 2 days straight. We had a restaurant mess up last week and he wouldn't talk to any of us for two days. This week, I have no idea what it is but now he's "silent" and has that "scowl" again for 2 days (he inherited it from his family).
I feel if you are moody, get away from me then. Go take your mind off it but he won't. He just stays and dwells and dwells and dwells. IT EMBARASSES THE CRAP OUT OF ME when he does it around people and my family then they think he's a jerk when he's not how horrible is that? IDEAS OF WHAT TO DO?
2006-11-01 04:59:47 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let me say that he is "super hardheaded" SO just telling him to go to a therapist isn't going to work. He'll say something more like "Oh I see it's all me again, I'm always in the wrong" or "I have a right to my feelings". It sucks totally b/c that's not how you respond to want to nurture a marriage. He has had moods since he was a kid, I can see it in his home videos. But he's also done really well since being with me about talking things out and not getting hot headed.
2006-11-01 05:01:50 · update #1
He sounds like a control freak. All hail to his moods! Is he angry over something else and is playing passive-agrressive until you figure it out? If this moody act is a recent development in his behavior, maybe he has a mental problem or a phyiscal ailment. But if he was this way prior to you saying "I do" and married him anyway, I'm not sure what you hope to change?
You say the moods of other people affect you greatly. You can only change yourself, so stop allowing him that power and control your own moods. Maybe when Mr. Sulky realizes his mood-trip isn't working, he'll stop acting like a baby. Isn't that how you treated your toddlers?
2006-11-01 05:07:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it's his problem not yours. Second, he's not going to change. Period. He will continue to be this way for the rest of his life.
You're not going to want to hear this, but I'm betting he was pretty much this way when you met and you chose to look the other way, focusing instead on all the other things about him you liked. The time to "do something" was back then because if you cannot be around people who are moody, you made a gigantic mistake marrying this man. Now that you are, I suggest you focus again on the things you like about him and forget about his moods. No one's perfect after all.
2006-11-01 05:06:24 · answer #2 · answered by wineboy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you ignore him he will come around you put too much time and energy into it when he's that way Remember "Misery loves company " and tell him you refuse to miserable any more .But seriously it goes deeper than what ever happen he probably was disappointed alot as a kid and he didn't deal with so he's still acting out , it's not fair to the family .On agood day talk with him about and see what he say's.
2006-11-01 05:07:57 · answer #3 · answered by mrsdg01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like he may have other issues. Has he ever had a mental health evaluation? He may not be able to control the fact that he acts this way and may have a chemical embalance. He could possibly be bipolar. You should try to get into family counselling so that it can be brought out in a safe environment. He has to take responsiblity for the fact that this behavior is selfish and is effecting your entire household. And if this is not the case you may need to consider the fact that he may just be immature and a control freak.
2006-11-01 05:18:51 · answer #4 · answered by bttrfly0724 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he needs to talk about what his problem is and stop acting like a child, your not a mind reader and can't guess what his problem is and if it's with you don't take it out on the whole family. Maybe you should try acting the same way back to him and see what he says to you.......how he likes it and then ask doesn't it seem foolish to you. I hate that they stay mad for a few days and then they come around you later talking and acting like nothing even happened. Tell him it's very embaressing to you and that it makes him look stupid..........
2006-11-01 05:08:55 · answer #5 · answered by lisa b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
alright, I have the same thing and mine is alot easier, but when he get grumpy I write it off, going on with whatever, if it last two day or whatever fine, but in your case I would talk to him, NEVER say well you have (blank you know like a pissy mood when this happens,) always resource back to you, how it makes you feel if it means saying well baby when you get upset I feel like I can't help you because I feel like you won't let me in.... I want to talk things out I want you to be happy, and soon you'll find that when he's happy you will be too, don't talk to him when he's mad, tell him you want to talk but don't let it turn into a yelling match, set rules, maybe a stick to pass when someone is talking they have the stick, I know that sounds stupid, try it,,, believe me he'll get defensive.....
2006-11-01 05:10:58 · answer #6 · answered by beckie_12000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, is he bi-polar? It could very well be a chemical problem in his brain and he could really just need medication! Is he open to seeing a doctor? Next, is he really "the best..."??? Maybe he's just an asshole? Just 'cuz you all have been together for some time doesn't bind you together forever ya know... there are wonderful men out there who treat women & their families great! Know that.
2006-11-01 05:04:06 · answer #7 · answered by liverlips86 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The next time he isn't in one of his moods, i think u too need to sit down and talk about what you both are feeling.
2006-11-01 05:08:42 · answer #8 · answered by shorte716 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is probally depressed and needs mental health my husband will be fine when i talk to him on the phone (while he is at work) then he will come home and be pissed off at the world so i told him i didn't want him here anymore and he said he will fix it and went t othe doctor and now he is fine he was depressed
2006-11-01 05:05:40 · answer #9 · answered by christina c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Open communication. Tell him how his mood swings effect you and ask him what triggers his mood swings.
What you are writing here in this forum - tell that to him and communicate.
2006-11-01 05:03:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋