It's really hard to describe how shocked I am right now. I had just dwonloaded the power rangers SPD theme song, and I went to "Downloads" to get it. There were two files "Download and downloads" I went to the first, and opened this Microsoft Word file of my Dad's. It was called sorry. It was written in Arabic. I can read enough to know whati t was. A sex story. Not only that, but gay sex. He's married to my birth mom,. and he has two daughters, my sisters. It seemed like a true story, but I have no idea. It just. my heart went all crazy, in a bad way. It's basically him sleeping and then getting woken up by his real life workmate, Saleh, and then. getting it on. Yuck. What should I do?
2006-11-01 04:26:41 · 20 answers · asked by Avatar Unknown 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Fantasy is just that fantasy. He may be gay or bisexual, but he may not; some people just have weird fantasies.
Even if he is gay or bisexual it is none of your business and there is nothing wrong with it.
2006-11-01 04:30:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
Who wants to know about their parent's sex lives? I know I never did. So it's always disturbing to find any evidence that our parents might actually be sexual beings, just like every other human being.
But then, you've got the added issue because you're probably worried about what the gay erotic literature means. Does it mean he's actually cheating on your Mom and sleeping with other men?
If so, could he potentially pass on a sexually transmitted disease to your Mom? (It goes without saying, that this would be a concern, regardless of whether a husband cheats by sleeping with women or with men.)
Does it mean he chats with gay men online and has cyber sex?
Plus, you realize that maybe there's a side to your father that you never imagined.
I have to admit up front that I have emotional issues regarding married men who are gay or bisexual as they so often claim and lie about it to the world, and to their loved ones.
And even more so if they're cheating on their wives.
You said the story was in Arabic, so I suppose there is a good chance you come from a Muslim family. If you feel upset by this revelation, just stop and think what your Dad must feel, assuming he has a strong attraction to other men.
I am guessing there are heavy feelings of guilt and shame just below the surface because of all the things I've mentioned above. Plus, he's from another generation. There could be feelings of self-hatred on the part of your Dad. There is still a heavy stigma against being gay, even in Western cultures.
If you really want to know what the deal is, you're going to have to ask him. But you've got to think ahead of what he might or might not tell you, and how you will react to that. Also, give some thought as to where and when you will discuss this with him.
Are you going to keep it confidential?
If you were going to talk about it with someone else, who would that be? And this particular aspect, I would think about long and hard. I don't know where you live, or what your father does for a living, so I have no idea what repercussions there might be if you outted your father, even by accident.
Even when people have the best of intentions, they often end up telling other people about what they've been told in confidence.
Just remember, no matter what he's still your Dad.
Whatever happens, good luck.
2006-11-01 13:04:25 · answer #2 · answered by Angry Gay Man 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you love your family you should mind your own business and say nothing.
We know statistically that about 10% of all men are homosexual. It doesn't matter what race, what religion, what climate, what continent. Some men come out -- some hide their entire lives. In primarily muslim countries -- they nearly all hide, out of necessity. That means marrying a woman and having children. That does NOT mean that they like the sex with women (their wife) or don't want men -- it means that they are denied the right to love who they want, to be happy -- that they must live their whole lives as a lie.
Some of them (perhaps many) find love the way closeted men everywhere find it -- sometimes anonymously, sometimes with coworkers (what you call workmates), sometimes with longtime friends.
None of this means your father values you less or loves you less -- he probably even loves (though perhaps does not lust for) your mother.
If you love them both, you will not bring it up, particularly if you live somewhere in the Muslim world, given the dominant culture and the danger it puts him in. If you need to talk, email me. I have close Arab American friends, and close Arab friends who are now in the US but are not yet citizens. Some of them are straight, some are gay (the gay ones are out -- I don't know any closeted one) I don't speak any Arabic, but I will listen to what you want to tell me and I will not judge you -- and maybe talking will help. (I am personally not Muslim or Arabic, but believe me when I say I do care and that would never matter).
Kindest thoughts,
Reynolds
believeinyou24@yahoo.com
2006-11-01 13:32:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow...that is a shocker and I can understand not knowing what do about it. It kind of makes you wonder if his story is a fantasy or if it really happend. Unfortunately you are going to have to confront your father (for two reasons). If you do not confront him you are always going to wonder and it will most certainly reflect the way you think of him in the future. For your mother's sake you must also find the truth...it would be a shame if she is living in a farce. It is not fair to her to be in a marriage that is hidden behind lies. Hopefully it was just that...a story about a possible fantasy...I wish you and your family luck.
2006-11-01 12:31:51 · answer #4 · answered by Stacy H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you prepared to break up the marriage? Your mom may already know. You *could* tell him you saw a story of his on the computer, if you're prepared for a very dramatic and possibly world-changing discussion, but you have to be *really* prepared and think about your motivations. Are you really wanting to help, or just curious?
Probably best to do nothing and let your mom sort it out.
2006-11-01 12:29:50 · answer #5 · answered by GreenEyedLilo 7 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely nothing...otherwise confront your father and straight out ask him....but don't say anything to your mother until you get the whole story....besides are you old enough to deal with this type of situation? cause the way it sounds if you are still playing games you must still be a kid... But like I said talk to your father and tell him what you found and that he needs to be more discreet with his homophobia....
2006-11-01 12:38:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is not yuck, just the wrong thing to do when still married. Do you really want to confront your father about it, or even tell your family about it? That sort of thing could tear your family apart. Still, it is up to you.
2006-11-01 12:31:09 · answer #7 · answered by sangheilizim 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I think you should respect his privacy. This may just be feelings he's having. It doesn't mean he is or has ever been gay. Many women are attracted to other women but that doesn't mean they are lesbians. I wouldn't worry about it. Many men have these thaughts from time to time, not that they would act on them. I myself, have found other men attractive but would not be with them.
2006-11-01 12:34:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could ask him about it but it's really none of your business. It's his file and it's not like he's your husband. A story in itself doesn't harm anyone and just because it sound true, doesn't make it true.
2006-11-01 12:44:53 · answer #9 · answered by lynnca1972 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Drop the false mythology and cultural claptrap that tells you same sex relations are wrong and accept reality which demonstrates that they are obviously not. You'll feel better in no time.
2006-11-01 12:46:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋