Just got a divorce petition from my wife, citing my behaviour as being unreasonable (financial mismanagement). Her assertions are outrageous, but does it really matter what she says. In the interests of us both getting divorced asap should I just sign it? Could signing this come back to bite me when it comes to any custody battle for the kids?
2006-11-01 04:25:40 · 16 answers · asked by pantocool 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
before you sign anything talk to a lawyer
2006-11-01 04:27:38 · answer #1 · answered by S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I got divorced the same thing happened, only the grounds were unreasonable behaviour.
Instead of signing it, write a letter to the solicitors saying that the allegations are entirely unfounded but despite this you are prepared to sign the agreement for the sole purpose of getting the divorce finalised without unnecessary cost, delay or acrimony.
Say that you will only do this provided you receive a written assurance from your wife that these allegations will not be repeated elsewhere or used in any other legal proceedings. You might want to specifically mention custody disputes.
If she really is just saying it in order to hurry things along and/or not drag out your (that's "your" in the plural) real dirty washing, she should be happy to do this.
If she tries to screw you over, you have these two letters (signed and dated) to show the judge, or anyone else, what the real story was. But really the idea is that, knowing you have these letters, she will not try to screw you over. Hell, perhaps she never was. Stranger things have happened.
You should go to a solicitor. It needs careful phrasing, and a few hundred pounds now could save you a lot more in the long run. What price peace of mind?
Good luck!
2006-11-01 16:18:44 · answer #2 · answered by Snakey B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where it says Do you admit the behaviour alleged, you can write "I deny that my behaviour has been unreasonable but I consent to the granting of a decree". You could put "I deny the allegations of my behaviour" or "The Petitioner's particulars of my behaviour are untrue but I agree that the marriage has irretrievably broken down and I consent to the granting of a decree" BUT you might risk the District Judge smelling a rat and deciding not to grant the divorce at all. Her allegations of your behaviour will not affect any later battle for RESIDENCE (never say custody) of your children or over finances. Those are separate matters. If you're in any doubt, look for a firm of solicitors that offer free half hour consultations or a fixed fee interview for an hour. The solicitor could then help you to complete the Acknowledgement of Service form to return to the court.
2006-11-01 13:58:58 · answer #3 · answered by Specsy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are in Britain it is safe, your wife wants a divorce and will obtain it by any means including telling lies. The judge who presides over the case also can see this, he will have a quick browse over the petition and put his stamp on it regardless of the reasons stated and just sum it up as irretrievable breakdown of marriage. The chances are that you would not get custody of the kids anyway. I have been in the same situation as you mate, hope this answer has been of some help. Good luck for the future.
2006-11-01 16:21:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't sign a thing until you have discussed it with a lawyer. It is expensive but, in the long run, better for you.
I am from the UK living in the US and got divorced here. Cannot imagine that it is so very different across the pond. I have custody of my kids but they have as much time with their dad as they want. Stand your ground on this one. I am appalled at angry ex-wives who deny the children free access to their dads. It is tough enough on the children as it is without them being used as a bargaining tool. Sounds like you are one of those dads who wants to stay involved with his children so, again, never back down. Your kids need you as much as they need their mum.
Go well.
2006-11-01 12:36:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had same worries myself - but my solicitor urged me to sign just to get it over with.... it was dragging on and cost me a fortune. Looking back now, 9 years later, it all seems really petty anyway. i had custody of the kids cos he didn't want them - so not sure how or if it would affect that - take advice. good luck xx
2006-11-01 12:31:32 · answer #6 · answered by mousie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't sign anything untill you have discussed it with a solicitor, and if this is a problem for you, then you can contest the grounds. If you just go along with it, you will certainly regret it later, especially in relation to your children
2006-11-01 12:30:28 · answer #7 · answered by murphy51024 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similar situation, and just signed it to avoid a lengthy, costly procedure. However, we didn't have kids, but one assumes financial mismanagement is no precursor to you seeing them. Unless there's exceptional circumstances, she *will* get the kids, like it or not. Anything else will be court hearings, and you having to rip her to pieces.
2006-11-01 12:29:19 · answer #8 · answered by nert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same problem, just under a different heading!! will be watching your answers. Personally, I wouldn't sign it unless you agree with it and/or had a solicitor check it out. Good luck
2006-11-01 19:36:33 · answer #9 · answered by GalaxyGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would be careful if i was you if you dont have a solicitor then take the petition to the citizens advice centre and they will tell you if it will in fact bite you on the bum with regards to your custardy battle please dont sign until its checked by a solicitor or citizens advice for your childrens sake
2006-11-01 16:29:22 · answer #10 · answered by cathied2004 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sign nothing it will come back and bite you somehow. Ask your solicitor, don't attempt to do it without one or you will get ridden like a seaside donkey. Watch out my friend when it comes to something like this women are pure evil. I know
2006-11-01 12:31:08 · answer #11 · answered by Yeah yeah yeah 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋