Why do women put each other down?

Question

Why are we so awful to each other? I was at the gym yesterday and I was working out like I always do and some 60 year old woman felt the need to comment on my outfit. Yes, I was showing my stomach, but that is my right. I work hard to have the body that I have and I am not going to be ashamed of it. If I was fat she wouldn't have said anything, but because I looked good she had to make a comment.

It is always a women that will be the first one to put another woman down. Why couldn't she think, "man she is working out hard and damn she looks good." but instead it's, "Ugh, oh my gosh she is showing off her body, she needs to cover up!"

It is just stupid that if a woman shows a little bit of confidence someone other chic has to walk up and burst their bubble. I am sick of it!!

BTW...she is saying this to me while all she has on is spandex shorts and sports bra!

Answer 1

Ha ha you're soooo right. We can be b*tches. (And I know how you feel at the gym...the old/fat ones are always looking down their noses at me too). I think we're mean to each other because sometimes it seems like life is one big beauty contest and we're all in competition with each other. Such a waste of time, really :O( We could be putting that effort into taking over the world.

Answer 2

Ive always wondered the same thing too.

I've noticed that women have a different relationship with their mothers/daughters/grandmothers than they do with their father or brother.

It seems that there is a competitive spirit in women. I believe that the competition is about wisdom and caregiving. Mothers and daughters always fight. But the weird thing is that they maintain some strange (I would call unhealthy) bond between them. I knew a mom/daughter that would argue all the time, hurt each other's feelings, etc. The daughter would always be upset because she nevr got her mother's approval, and the mother is upset because she never knew how to show approval to her daughter. Then it becomes a cycle that the daughter becomes a mother and starts all over again.

Men do not have these types of problems in their relationships with their fathers or brothers. While the competitve spirit is always there, we are less concerned with the emotionality of the realtionship but rather the rationality of the relationship.

I think this tends to "spill" outside the family and affects a lot of female-to-female relationships. Either your bonds are gonna be real close, or you are basically non-accepting of anyone else, until a strong bond can be developed.

Answer 3

Here is my point of view as a man, that sometimes notices what you have just mentionned: There is a lot of pressure put on women now, let's say since the 60's, because of their "new role" in society. The time when Beaver's mom stayed at home, baked an apple pie and did not have to worry about how she looked, how she is perceived "out there" is gone and will not come back. And it is not easy, you gals have to fight men who traditionally hold "better" positions, have a status that YOU would like to achieve and on top of that fight each other because they want the same thing. Demeaning is one way to assert one's self (so they think) because not only does it "devalue" you but also because it makes them feel "better than you". A man does not have to contend with this ironically because most men, in a very backward way, tend to consider women as not being a real threat (some will have a rude awakening soon) so they are left fighting for "power", position, jobs against each other in the "usual" way. It is very crooked and silly but I think that the "sisterhood" is not real (yet), conversely, the "brotherhood" has been around for millenia. As bad as this will sound it is more frequent to hear a female worker say about another female co-worker "She is such a b***h" than to hear a male worker comment the same way about a co-worker, he may think it but will not verbalize it. Appearances and perception can make women look bad. Adding a little humor to this answer I would say: a guy at that same gym looking at another guy with great pecs and a six-pack would have thought "Gawd... I wish I could look like him, I would get laid every night"... The woman probably thought "The b***h looks better than me, that's why I can't get laid every night". Therefore the "blame". *smile*

Answer 4

Sometimes the jealous bug bites and it wouldn't matter what you were wearing ( or in this case not wearing). Maybe she just was envious of your age compared to her advanced years. I know my own mother cuts on the clothes that I like when we shop together (btw i am 27 yo) she says it is because she couldn't wear them anymore.

so take the cut as a compliment. next time it happens have a "sweet" come back. something like, thank you for noticing my outfit. I have worked hard to look this good. and then brush it off and go on your way.

Answer 5

I know the feeling.
It's like we have this inbuilt gene to be catty or whatever=P
Unfortunately jealousy is prevalent among females.
They're mostly acting out of insecurity.
It's what I refer to as the 'Snow White' syndrome.
Y'know like the fairytale where the evil queen won't stop till she's the fairest in the land?
Well, there you have it!
These women feel the need to put someone else down just to feel better 'bout themselves.
I, for one have across the aforementioned like every time.
I just learned to ignore it & walk away.

Answer 6

Sometimes women are A dogs too....Men always mess with each other. Women are now just more competitive is all. Look at it as a sign of female liberation from a male dominated society, and competitive nature coming forth.

Answer 7

funny you mention this
i was commenting yesterday about one of the most annoying things about being a woman is the cattyness you have to deal with
you cant even have a simple baby shower without someone saying ..so and so was rude ...or always trying to pick on other women
its so lame
i avoid drama at ALL cost

Answer 8

I have found that the women that makes these comments are the most insecure. They have to knock you down to actually feel good about themselves.
Feel bad for them their self confidence is low.
Women do this to each other because I feel alot of women have self confidence issues.
You cant control other people so you just have to ignore the comments and dont let it affect your selfesteem just because theirs sucks.
If she does it again it is harrassment, especially because you are at the gym.

Answer 9

Wait, she was showing more skin than you, yet put you down for doing the same, AND she's 60? Hon, don't blame all women, she sounds just plain senile. NOTHING about this makes sense, so just brush it off.

Answer 10

I believe that it is a throw-back to the beginnings of humans. Women needed to be competative in order to get the best man (mate) in the group to hunt for them and protect them.