Is the 'empty nest' syndrome a myth?

Question

I had my daughter when I was 18yrs old and my son when I was 28. I had been a single parent until 7 years ago so 'my' family had always been centered around them. They have both now flown the nest (both have been with their partners for almost 7 years, which I am thankful for in this day and age)! I now have time for my husband (a wonderful man) but I feel that something is missing. If I could go back and do it all again, I would. Is there anyone feeling the same as I do? My daughter is 32 and my son 24 (I am 51).

I have an 11yr grandaughter who I cherish. I am so looking forward to my son's baby! But still I feel as though something is missing!!

Answer 1

It is probably the 'feeling needed' bit you miss most. It is natural to feel something is missing when members of the family leave the home you have shared with them for a long time. The feeling will go. In the meantime think positive and enjoy a renewed relationship with your husband. Once you have done this and time has passed you won't be missing them so much. Good luck with the rest of your life!

Answer 2

no it's not a myth you were probably a stay at home mom and now you feel a liittle useless it happens when the lasy one leaves but honey don't start over enojoy your life. You are so blessed to have 2 kids with good mates and to have found one yourself so late in life is a true blessing. enjoy your husband travel if you can financially and just spoil your hubby. Sit back relax wait for the grandkids that will come along and then you will be really blessed grandkids are awesome and fulfill that desire for the nurturing and love but the good thing is if you get stressed from them they can go home. I believe your new hubby has been patient for 7 years and would enjoy some time with just the 2 of you Now if that's not enough reasons think at 51 if you have kids you'll be 52 when born and before they are grown you will be almost 70 as we age it is harder to be a full time parent just ask any grandma who has had to raise their grandkids Good Luck God Bless your family with love and many grandkids and enjoy the relaxation after a job well done

Answer 3

Empty nest symdrome exists. But it should be temporary. It means that you've been so focused on the kids that you've forgotten all those things you used to do before you had them. You need to get back into a life of your own. Join a tennis league, a gym, a bowling league, a bridge club, a biking group. Take courses in tax preparation, writing, or a book club. Teach Sunday School, visit shut-ins, volunteer at the Red Cross, Salvation Army or at the local hospital. Find things to fill your time that make you feel needed and special. The Empty Nest will feel much better and relaxing after that and you'll be happier, too. Spend more time with your husband...take weekend trips together. Enjoy your new life!

Answer 4

No, they leave a great void. If it is any consolation, you might have grandchildren soon and, believe me, they keep you busy.
At 51 you are still very young. Enjoy all the opportunities that come your way as in another ten years or so you may not feel as strong or enclined to do something adventurous.
It is in the nature of things that children come and go, and one should not focus one's life on them once they have flown the nest. They have their life , you have yours and they only overlap on the edges.
If you really have the "empty home" syndrome you could offer to foster a child. A good mother like you would be a boon to one who has no parents to turn to.

Answer 5

I can assure you,when my nest is empty and i'm the only one left in it,it will not take me long to adapt to the single life again-though i love my children dearly,and am here for them should they have any problems,and will be when they leave,i am in fact raring to go-champing at the bitt,call it what you will! I suppose what you are feeling could be compared to "broodiness",when looking at a newborn baby and mother in a stroller or pram?Most men don't get those feelings,though if they do,don't let on!! Just fill you house and your future with the sounds of your grandchildrens happiness and laughter,perhaps take up some hobby's,and i'm sure you will be fine:-)

Answer 6

I'm around your age and I think it's common for women to feel "something is missing" when they no longer has the responsibility of being a Mom everyday. But I don't think it's the kids you're missing, it's "you". You kids are established and now is the time for you to do things for "you". What was it that you always dreamed you'd love to do? So, do it! And enjoy the second half of the "game". Soon, you'll wonder where all of that lonliness went. Godloveya.

Answer 7

It is very real!! I too am recently remarried and I love the time I have alone with my husband. I also miss my daughter terribly when she is away at college. There is a good chance that she will move out of state after graduation and I would hate that. I think with single moms especially, you are so close to your kids, it is hard to let go. Chin up, the kids will be fine and so will we!

Answer 8

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Answer 9

My mom went through the same thing. For her she said the house was just too empty with her and dad there. So she did something she always wanted to do...she went back to school to get her teaching degree. She is now focused on her and the house is now full of grandchildren. So you are not alone. You just need to find something now to focus your time on and do something for you. It will make you feel that much beter! GOOD LUCK!

Answer 10

Been there, done that, and it was hard. Still look back and reflect sometimes on what I could have done different. then I realize it is onlly the devil bringing my conflict in any way he can. I know I did the best job as I could with my children, tho I can see things I could have done very differently. But, at the time, I did what all I knew to do. We arent perfect parents,and guess what, they arent either. That gave me some stuff to ponder on awhile. amen. We just all do the best we can with what we KNOW. And, if we did make mistakes, we tell them we love them, admit any wrongs we did, and ask for forgivenss. Thats all we can do, and its all they can do later with their own kids.
Empty nest a myth??? NO. I know some say they never felt it, but they also admit they couldnt stand having kids around and were celebrating their leaving. If you are a normal mom or dad, and love your kids and they are just your world for so long, when they leave, it does feel so emply and lonely, even if you have other relationships. Its tought, but part of our job is raising them up to be responsible loving people to go on their own and start their own lives, and prayerfully doing a pretty good job as best they know. I know there are many things I would do differently, and one is to not have remained in a marrige with only abuse. But, I cant go back. Its done, its over, and all I casn do now is continue to be the best mom and gramma I know how to be. Perfect yet? NOPE. But they arent either. God tells us all fall short of His glory. So, learn to pat yourself on the back more, forgive yourself and be able to go talk to your likes like you have here. If they have areas of unforgiveness, you can only love them and continuing praying for them, and let them know that unforgivness will make them not a very effective parent, as they need to teach this to their kids. I have children from 41 to 29, I am 60. They are good people, but still not perfect parents. Some of it, we learn as we go along, and from our mistakes, and each of our children are so different. As long as we love them with unconditional love, and do our best, what more can be expected of us? Then, pray they do the same with their kids.
There are times I would give anything to go back and do it all over. I miss their laughter at home and just the pleasured of having them around all the time. But, they are all grown up, and I cant go back, nor can they.
Ask God to help you heal and to just love and encourage your children and talk to them. And, then ask God to learn to love them from afar as He gives you a life of your own , without them there all the time, so that you can bless others wich so much love.
There are people out there needing good friends, etc.
Be a friend to yourself by loving yourself, and forgiving yourself, and asking Got to put someone in your life that you may be a blessing to. God bless you. And remember, your children will always be in your real nest... your heart. They were born of your heart, and will always be there, no matter how far they live away. God bless you. and by the way, we are starting to hear now that some men have this empty nest thing too. If we have hearts of love, we will have it, but God gets us thru it. amen