My husband and I are great parents and live well together but the love is dry and empty. He treats me like a daughter. I fell in love with my first love. I was not looking for love or was I. Now I am enjoying a relationship that brings the best out of ME. Is this fair to my kids to follow my dreams. One is in college the other 9th grade.
2006-11-01 03:55:05 · 43 answers · asked by ocean 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NO NO NO!
Seek advice from people who have made it thru the same circumstance successfully with the SAME mate!
You don't want a new man, you want FIRE back in your life. Romance and to feel loved. Get it by doing right.
Stick with your husband and be a PROVERBS WIFE! Don't seek advice from people who have hopped in and out of relationships but proven results with lasting commitment.
We aren't promised "Happiness" every moment, we are given the tools to "CREATE HAPPINESS" that is a decision you make every day. How you look at your life and relationship and deal with it.
Rekindle your love with your husband, remember what it was -way back when-that you fell in love with, in your husband, and seek that. Remember the saying "SEEK AND YOU WILL FIND" that fits here. You will always find what you are looking for. The choice to look in the right place is the test.
Here is a great book for you, "LOVE LIFE FOR EVERY MARRIED COUPLE" by Dr. Ed Wheat. It will share with you many testimonies of the same and worse situations with GREAT and better results than pre-marriage romance.
2006-11-01 04:12:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This situation is not bringing out the best in you, unless you consider cheating on your family one of your better qualities.
Unless you have really given your best effort toward fixing what's wrong with your marriage, do not pursue this other relationship. Have you expressed to your husband how you feel? Have you gone to counseling either alone or as a couple? If you haven't, then you should.
Until then, ask yourself these questions:
1. If you were to sit down and talk to your kids about this new man in your life, how do HONESTLY think they'd respond?
2. Is your first love really loving you or supplying the passion you don't have in your marriage?
3. Is your first love married?
4. Are you prepared for the worst-case scenario this situation could possibly bring to you and your family? Need an example?
Let's say your husband and children find out; you contract an STD; you find that your first love does not want the responsibility and guilt of breaking up your family. Your children despise you because you lied to them and their father and have up-ended their world.
I'm not saying that you should stay in an unhapy marriage; I'm saying that you should make a genuine effort to address the problems you have. You need to be absolutely sure that this is love you feel, and not just a band aid you've put on that doesn't fit. Make sure you can live with the outcome either way. Are you willing to sacrifice your relationship with your children for this man?
Pursue happiness, but do it in a way that makes sense. Think, think, think!
2006-11-01 04:16:00 · answer #2 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think I have to agree with CHILDofGod here, even though I'm not very religious! Maybe that is what everybody's problem is : they don't want to "work" in a marriage. As soon as something happens that's negative, people say get a divorce. So now I guess I see why the divorce rate is so high. That's your answer right there. My grandparents married in 1935, when Grandma was 14 & grandad was 19. They are still married today. When people here about a 73 yr. marriage, the first thing they do is clap. They don't know what kind of marriage it was. They don't know the work that went into such a long marriage. And I hear people complain that people aren't getting married anymore because the divorce rate is so high. In my opinion, they are lazy; they don't want to committ & they don't want to work; they just want to get out quickly if something happens. I've never been married so I speak from observation rather than personal experience. It's up to you. If you choose to work on this marriage than I don't think you should feel guilty about it. If you choose to walk then you shouldn't feel guilty about it. I think a professional could help him with his "problem", because I think it is some kind of psychological problem he has there.
2016-03-19 02:29:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course it feels great w/your "new love," it isn't as though you have been with him through the past 30 yrs--and had to confront the issues on a daily basis. Get counseling. Go away on a marriage retreat and try to preserve the marriage. I think it is morally wrong to leave your husband. i know you won't like what i'm saying--but you need the truth and not what you want to hear. How would you feel if the situation were rerversed? What kind of message are you giving to the children? People are disposable like an old pair of show. They need to be replaced with ones that make you feel better.
2006-11-01 04:28:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, I guess I'm old fashioned but I don't believe that cheating is ever the right answer. If you want to be with your ex from 30 yrs ago, then divorce your husband and let him go on with his life. Why ruin everybodys life? Think about your children and be prepared to answer to them down the road. I hope if you give up your family for this guy that he'll be everything you hope for because this is a major life changing decision you're making.Don't take it lightly.
2006-11-01 04:02:15 · answer #5 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Go for it? Whatever makes you feel good? If your marriage is getting you down?
What a load of hedonism and hypocrisy!
Did you make a commitment to your husband? For better or worse maybe? I think you should consider the cost of ending a marriage or even attempting an affair without ending the marriage.
Cheating hurts alot of people. Have you tried to improve relations with your husband? Are your expectations to high? Why would you expect a new relationship to last without some work invested?
You don't know me from Adam but please, for your sake and everyone involved, please, PLEASE exhaust all efforts to save your marriage. If that doesn't work, then you should leave your husband and be with someone else. By then your husband will know something is wrong and not be blind sided.
2006-11-01 04:04:26 · answer #6 · answered by Eddie J 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
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2014-09-25 15:45:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a heartbreaker....but no matter what, you have your first responsibility with your kids. New love is exciting and feels "oh so right". Your kids are not so young anymore, but it will hurt them non the less to go to a divorce.
It is your fault and your husbands fault that your marriage has no sparkle anymore. You have given up.
Talk it over with a very trusted friend and try to revive your relationship.
Good luck
2006-11-01 04:35:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You, my dear, are playing with fantasy and fire. You can't break up your family over this and I would assume his family would suffer also. Leave it alone. Things might not be as rosey on the other side of the fence as you might think. By now, you're a mature woman who needs to make a responsible decision; and it's NOT chasing your high school sweetheart. Godloveya.
2006-11-01 04:36:30 · answer #9 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not until you sort out your marriage first. If it is over and done and cannot be saved you will have to decide to leave, but please make sure that it can't be saved first. The grass always appears to be greener on the other side it is usually just the same. Tell you first love you need to sort out your marriage, he will understand and then you'll be able to start the relationship on an even footing with a clear concience.
2006-11-01 03:59:42 · answer #10 · answered by patsy 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋