Is my husband a mamma's boy?

Question

My mother-in-law feels she HAS to call my husband every single day. It is very annoying. If she doesn't hear from him every day she'll call me at work to ask "why isn't her son calling her?". If he has a doctor's appointment she wants to know everything. He recently had medical tests done and she felt the need to have the results faxed to her because she "had to know what's going on with her son" . Most fights we have are over her behavior. He sees nothing wrong with her but I do. Who is right?

Answer 1

He's a Mamma's boy.

But you knew that when you married him, and you married him anyway, so suck it up and quit complaining.

Answer 2

He is not a mamma's boy because he would be over her house every day and come to her becone call. When she snaps her finger, he would be there. What you have is a case of the meddling mother-in-law and he and you both have to tell her to back off or else it will destroy your marriage. If you have to then move away if you are in the same town. Tell her also that if something is wrong with her son that you will let her know, but faxing her the results are not what you will do. Tell her also that you know that she loves her son, but he NOW has his own family and they come first , but unless you husband sees that their is a problem, no solution will be done and she could be destorying a good thing with you and your husband. He has to also back your decision to keep the meddling mother in law out of your lives...

Answer 3

He's not a mama's boy. SHE is still trying to control him (and you). A man makes a marriage vow and then his wife is supposed to be #1 because SHE is now "next of kin." Mama moves to the #2 spot. She has a right to know if he's going through medical testing. She does NOT have the right to have his medical records faxed to her. You need to tell your husband that you are supposed to be #1 with him and his mother does not need to know everything about him anymore. If he doesn't understand that, go to your preacher or priest or a marriage counselor and have a couple sessions so that a third party can explain that to him. It's important, to save your marriage, that he realize he is putting his mother's wishes ahead of yours. And that is not good. He needs to TELL his mother that he is married now and that she is no longer entitled to know every little thing in his life. She needs to build her own life so that she is too busy to talk to him every single day, too. He should tell her that. If he won't, someone should do it for him. Does he have sister? A father? Get some help.

Answer 4

Put on whatever garment of clothing you own that makes you look the most pregnant, take yourself over to your MIL's house and share with her that you are struggling with furniture, climbing on ladders, getting concerned over the physical realities and limitations ahead and ask her what the magic words are to get your husband involved. Share that you are young, you are learning, first child, getting a bit emotional with the pregnancy and that you are sincerely seeking her advice. Is there any way she can help? Be humble. Be polite. Kind. Concerned. Honest and bewildered. Ask for her advice. No matter what she says, be appreciative and polite. She'll help or she won't. She'll be kind or she won't. No matter how she reacts, be humble and sincere. You are not accusing anyone of anything. You are not throwing stones. You are not throwing a tantrum. You are not tossing ultimatums. You are young, inexperienced, pregnant, and seeking her wisdom. That would seem, to me, to be a far better way to approach the situation than nagging at your husband. Best wishes to you!

Answer 5

I too speak with my mother most every day. It is a way I try to honor her and has little to do with me actually and more to do with showing interest in her life and mainly making sure she's okay and not in need of rescue.

I don't think that a man HAS to speak to his mother every day; but that a certain amount of codependency will develop over time when a man tries to be close to his mother.

My girl hasn't expressed a problem with this behavior and I don't make it an issue. She is quite secure in our relationship because the part of me she gets I don't share with my mother -- and rightfully so.

I think that your perception of a problem in this area is cause for discussion -- and NO ... mama doesn't need to know every detail of every aspect of your existence !

Fighting over the matter won't resolve the issue in the same manner as calmly discussing it. Perhaps your insecurity in this area is unjustified.

Also, calling me a 'Mama's boy' would only amuse me because I am pretty secure in my relationships as well ... and a dominant personality to boot so I would never be offended by the moniker and I think you should use it if you think it fits.

Answer 6

Sounds like what many people call a "Baby Boy," rather than a Mama's Boy. It also sounds to me like there's more of a problem with the mom. I understand that a mom never stops being a parent, but there's some women who fear that their relationship has to end when their boys take a wife. There's a saying that goes, "Your daughter's your daughter for the rest of your life. Your son's your son until he takes a wife," and many women take this to heart. They don't understand that the mother/son relationship changes, it doesn't end. My pet peeve is with those women who make their sons the leading man in their lives. Their sons often play the role of their husbands. And when the little guys get married, moms don't know how to handle that and step back and allow their son's to be responsible married men.

Answer 7

There is a line to be drawn, absolutely. Her calling every day, not a problem. Her calling you, questionable. If he calls at a certain time every day and he hasn't called, she might be worried so it would be reasonable to call you. Asking how things went at the doctor, okay. Having results faxed to her, not okay.

Unfortunately, the only one who can put a stop to this behavior is your husband. He needs to be able to tell her no, but if you're fighting over it, I suppose he doesn't want to.

My suggestion is to pick your battles carefully. Don't fight with your husband over his mom calling you at work, but maybe gently tell him it bothers you that she doesn't believe what she's told and has to get things faxed to her. Be diplomatic, you are attacking his momma after all.

Answer 8

YOU are right and your husband is a mama's boy and a big PU*SSY! He should put up some boundaries with his mother. YOU are #1 not mama. She doesn't have to know everything that goes on in your life and she's not going to go down quietly. You tell him to have a talk with her, or you will. And spare not details if you have to talk to her. He feels like he's in the middle and it would be better if he did the talking. But, honey, you should have know that before you married the guy. If he doesn't put a stop to this, you'll have her biting you heels all of your life. He needs some backbone and he needs it before you kick him to the curb with his mama. Godloveya.

Answer 9

I use to call me mom everyday now that she's gone I miss her terribly. My mom wouldn't have test results faxed to her but she would call to find out what the results were. It's a matter of degree. i guess. I closeness to my mom never really bothered my wife. Actually she always says that my mom was more of a mother to her than her own mom.

Answer 10

I have a mother-in-law who is very similar to that. My wife has to talk to her mother almost everyday. She is very involved in our lives, and it can be very annoying. That having been said, it does not bother me enough to start an argument over. You should not discourage your husband from giving his mother what she wants. In the end, she is just a nuisance, and should not be a major problem in your marriage. I would not pick this to be your battle. She will not change, and that is not your husband's fault.

Answer 11

Yes your husband sounds like a mommas boy and you are right. Your mother in law needs to chill and get a life of her own and your husband needs to grow up.