Mother in laws?

Question

How do people deal with selfish mother inlaws. My husband loves his mother more than life. She wasn't a very good mother to him when he was growing up. I think he is still trying to get the love that she never gave him when he was growing up. My husband is an only child. My mother in law expects my husband to take time off work to be with her for anything. Might I add that my husbands has used all his leave for the past 4 years on his supposedly sick mother. (she has a drinkning problem) She is also a diabetic and on oxygen. She smokes. She drinks and doesn't take her medicine and my husband runs 200 miles away to take her to the doctor. What should I do. My husband has taken lots of leave without pay. This is hurting our family.

Answer 1

Tell your husband how he feels. He is not here to take care of his mother, he is here to take care of his family. If he can't do that, then he doesn't need to be involved in a family until she is gone.

Answer 2

I understand this. The love between a parent and child is stronger than any other. You are just going to have to accept this. It sounds like she is very ill and will not be around much longer. He could get someone there to help with some day to day needs so he doesn't have to take off of work. You could tell him that you are afraid that he might lose his job if he takes too much time off and that maybe he can find someone in the AA community or a church to help her during the day. There are plenty of volunteer organizations that will take people to doctor appointments, etc. Be kind about this and don't nag at him. Talk to him rationally about it.

Otherwise it is good that he is trying to help her. Some day you might need help and he will be there for you too. You can't have it both ways. Either he is a caring man who will help his mother now and you later or he is a person that will help no one. So look at the bright side of this.

Also he has to do this for his own psychologically reasons. This is especially true if their relationship has not been good in the past. When she dies he will be haunted by his treatment of her forever if he doesn't help her now. Trust me, what he is doing is best for all of you.

Answer 3

I did not discover a query however loved studying it besides. It is well recommendation and although no person requested you, thank you for writing it. As a MIL I might like so as to add a practical MYOB MIL. Translated way Mind Your Own Business Mother In Law. Not to the above creator, she's cool. But please ... MIL's .. do not deliver recommendation whilst you're now not requested and do not inform any one the right way to do anything. You could also be very skilled at being a mom, grandmother....and so on. however matters difference every now and then and loved ones to loved ones. So, if all of us MOurOB all people is joyful. It's difficult to not inform a DIL she is striking the diaper at the improper finish of the little one however she'll discover out quickly sufficient.

Answer 4

Talk to your husband about this. Sounds like his mom is pretty ill and won't be on this side of the grass too much longer anyway. Maybe he is trying to be with as much as he can before shie passes.

Answer 5

Let your husband know that the bible says "and man should leave his mother and father house and cleave unto his wife" in other words you and your children if there's any should come first then his mother!

Answer 6

The moral of the story here is to find out what kind of a mother he has before marrying him.

Answer 7

They will never see their mother the way we can. She is almost serile. If you try to tell him to tone it down, he thinks your attacking her. It's hard to help someone who won't help themselves. Good Luck.