My daughter had recently went to my ex husband of 3 months place of employment and ran into him, he was telling her his side of the story which is not totaly true. This is her step father which she likes alot and she now is upset with me and also told him she was sorry for her mothers mistakes. My daughter seems to forget the hurt he has caused me. My ex and I have not spoken since the divorce. I moved out of his house, and cut all ties with him . He also told her that I should not of broken the communications with him but thats the only way for me to deal with this and she is upset with me for this. How can I make her understand he was at fault for this breakup not just me!!!!
2006-11-01 03:38:37 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
dont take sides. tell her your side of the story and let her decide.even you dont want to talk to your ex she might choose so.
2006-11-01 03:41:57 · answer #1 · answered by c.schreiber 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably can't. But, personally, I'd write her a letter and put your side of the story in it. I'd also tell her the lies he told her. Then, I would tell her that you are emotionally fragile right now and you are very hurt that she blames the divorce all on you. It takes two to make or break any relationship. He is not blame-free and neither are you. Since she's your daughter, she should at least be sympathetic to you. The fact that she can't be tells me that she is starved for a father-figure relationship. What happend to her natural father?
2006-11-01 11:46:54 · answer #2 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your daughter out to lunch and talk to her about everything you are feeling. Because she holds him in high opinion, I would not try to put all the blame on him, nor would I bad mouth him in any way. I would tell her that you have no problem with her maintaining a relationship with her stepfather, but explain to her that you will not be a part of it. She needs to understand that you are on her side, and maybe she will be on your side.
2006-11-01 11:51:03 · answer #3 · answered by Bill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't actually go into who's fault what was and blame placing. although i assume your daughter is an adult and can objectively understand relationship problems, it is your life. explain to her, as nicely and clearly as you can, that while you don't mind her maintaining a relationship with him, you have chosen not to, and that is that. you may at some point have to communicate this to him too, and ask him not to involve her. hopefully everyone will be adult about things, and maintain tha good relationships and move away from the bad. good luck.
2006-11-01 11:52:52 · answer #4 · answered by Renee B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you guys clearly need to talk sit her down and explain the situation and say to her that u love her and u would not lie to her the problem is that when u have a messy break up both parties have different story's to tell it might help to invite him round and explain together
2006-11-01 11:45:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't use your daughter as a pawn for battles you need to fight for yourself. And don't make her choose between you two either. Give the kid a break,and don't discuss your past problems with her.
2006-11-01 11:43:07 · answer #6 · answered by kick it 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the right to handle your divorce any way you want, just remember you disrupted her life, too. She needs time to readjust to the way things are now. Don't talk badly about him, just give her time.
2006-11-01 11:43:02 · answer #7 · answered by smartypants909 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about it. He loves nothing more than to find someone to whine and cry to. God only knows who all he's telling his sob story to. He's gotta make himself look good and knows better than to spout this crap off to you.
2006-11-01 11:46:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old your daughter is but I would be very careful in that situation...
2006-11-01 11:40:55 · answer #9 · answered by elpackage 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should both grow up and stop dragging your poor daughter into your mess!
2006-11-01 11:47:34 · answer #10 · answered by my2cents 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋