and if so, what did you do or make your spouse/partner do to make the marriage/relationship work?
2006-11-01 03:37:44 · 50 answers · asked by Deja' Vu 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
be strong, seek counsel from friends and family, keep the kids if any out of it for their sake not his/hers. Sit down and calmly talk through why it happened, for how long and when, where etc. Think carefully do you still love this partner or the idea of them, and can you live with forgiving them. Seek marriage guidance counselling it's not just for the married and and insist it is a condition of getting back together, after that look long and hard at yourself and the relationship, don't sell yourself short. Best of luck.
2006-11-01 04:00:54 · answer #1 · answered by ira d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was engaged to a guy that I had been with for five years, and when I found out that he had cheated on me I was totally devastated. I finished the relationship about one week later. It was probably the hardest decision that I have ever made. He was my first love. But it has also been the best decision, as I could never have trusted him again. For me, when I am with someone, then that is it, and I would expect the same from my partner. If though you are to forgive that person, then after it has been discussed and you have both decided to stay together, you need to leave it in the past, and that is probably the hardest thing of all. As humans we tend to throw nasty things in the face of the person we love, especially when argueing and if this is what you will do, or think that you could do, then you will never have a happy and trusting relationship again
2006-11-01 03:52:49 · answer #2 · answered by S 28 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely. Marriage is about commitment. We understand that the new and novel experience of an affair is as addictive as any other substance out there. You just cannot re-experience that when you know each other well. I know that I will never experience that intense rush with my husband, but I don't have to worry about rejection once the cosmetics wear off or he sees my body or I fart.
The comfort far outweighs any pleasure in an affair.
So, we forgive each other. It is hard to remember we love each other sometimes, and though it's been 2 years since either of have strayed, there is damage. But we will make it. We've been together for over 20 years. There is nothing worth throwing that away.
2006-11-01 03:51:11 · answer #3 · answered by Faith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope! Once is one thing, and maybe you can work it out but twice? No! How can you trust your partner after that? And without trust there is no relationship. It will never work, you'll constantly be wondering if your spouse is cheating if they are late or something. Just go, find someone who will love you and not cheat because if someone really loves another person they will not cheat!
2006-11-01 03:40:28 · answer #4 · answered by Amber W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Once, maybe. But Honey, he knows he got away with it the first time, but twice! Dump the guy, he is just gonna hurt you more and more. Find someone who can appreciate what he's got. Or if you really want to make things work, make him go to marriage / partner therapy with you so that you can work out his issues. Maybe he feels he's not getting enough at home! (even if u think he is) No blame here Honey, but think about it. Leave or give him the ultimatum of going for therapy. You will know he actually REALLY loves u if he agrees to go, and sticks to it.
2006-11-01 03:55:44 · answer #5 · answered by dragonfly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when a person cheats and you forgive them, and take them back and they do it again. all it shows is that that they have been using you all along because they know they can. that why you need to think long and hard why you stay in the relationship, is it really worth it, because deep down you know that they are going to turn around and do it again. the spouse who did this will never grow up, will never take their responsibilities towards you and children seriously. can you take living with a person who is child like the rest of your life.
2006-11-01 03:53:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can forgive him, but believe me, this will never work. Every time this man is out of your sight, you will wonder what he is up to. You can forgive, but believe me you will not forget. I know, because it happened to me. First time, I let him come back home. Second time, I said this is it. By then we had three little girls, but I didn't care. I could never trust this man again and we ended the marriage. I am not sorry. Don't let this man do this to you - you deserve better. Good luck to you.
2006-11-01 04:01:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes of course you CAN forgive him. But you need to figure out why he is doing it.
Is something missing for him in your relationship or is he just a naturally born cheat???
Once you can answer that you will know whether to work on your relationship or dump him.
Good Luck.
2006-11-01 03:42:50 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's just a question of whether or not you are capable of not just forgiving, but the hard part, FORGETTING. If you do decide you're willing to forgive, you have to follow through with the other part and not throw it in their face durring every fight. That is the part that usually tears a relationship apart.
2006-11-01 03:40:05 · answer #9 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, by accepting that I played my part in the breakdown of our relationship, and by learning how to relate to him in the way he deserves. It takes a cruel man to cheat for no reason or simply to cause pain. Try to look for the reasons behind it and ask him to join you in putting things right so you have a better relationship after than you did before.
Counselling helped, but as a christian I preferred christian counselling, found it to be less judgmental.
2006-11-01 03:45:47 · answer #10 · answered by good tree 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋