Well ima 17 year old female and i have a 17 year old girlfriend that i have been with for 3 year's . I love her much but it's starting to feel old. We argue everyday, over stupid things, and i always apologizie first and try to fix everything but it never works. She srating to act distant from me, she say she loves me but she can't show it. We have great times but then we have bad,bad,bad times. Im tired of this mess it's getting old im feeling like leaving but im afraid if i leave i wont have anybody. Im starting to check out boys,and im really interesested. What should i do? I need big advice quick, becasue i dont want to make the wrong choice. HELP ME!!!
2006-11-01 02:57:09 · 12 answers · asked by Nikki D 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
When I was your age, I was in the EXACT same situation. Females were my world. Now that I've gotten older, I have come to realize a few things.
When I was 17, I most definately knew what true love really was. I loved my girlfriend with all my heart, and I still do - even though I'm not IN love with her anymore. Ask yourself the same question. You say that you love her - but do you still have that burning passionate love for her - or do you just love her?
Another important issue is - do you want to have children - ever? I didn't and still don't, but being attracted to males was the very first sign I had of not wanting to be with my girlfriend anymore. I was no longer who I was portrayed to be - a feminine lesbian. I was bisexual.
The both of you both have a long life ahead of you. Do you honestly think that you and your girlfriend could spend THE REST OF YOUR LIVES together? That question always scared me - hell no I didn't want to be with someone for the rest of my life when I was 17.
The first step is to sit her down and talk to her. Here's what you say.
u - "I've been thinking lately. Sometimes I feel that we're growing apart. Here recently, you've been acting distant towards me and you're having troubles SHOWING me affection. I love you and I care about you wholeheartedly, but we've got to do something."
"Ever since you started doing this, I've found myself becoming attracted to males. We have been together for a wonderful yet long 3 years. We're both only 17. I think it's important that the both of us know where we stand. So, what is your take on this?"
Go on to explain to her that you need to know where she stands. Youu need to know if she's still IN love with you. You need to know why she's been acting distant...and if you really want to be with her, try to work things out. Just remember that communication IS the key to success.
Last but not least, a male is something you have never had before. Try it. You just may like it. You will more than likely not ever get over being with a female, as I never have, but I still LOVE being with guys, too. You're allowed to have the best of both worlds. That's why it's so great to be bisexual.
If she still wants to be with you and you feel the same way WITHOUT a doubt, go for it....or, you guys could take a break from one another to do some soul searching. Go and be with a guy. If you like it, which you probably will, keep that as an option. If you don't like it, go back to your normal ways. Or as I said before, keep the best of both worlds in your pocket. You obviously have an open mind if you're bisexual.
I really wish the best of luck to you. I know how it feels to be torn between 2 worlds and not know what to do.
Sit her down and talk to her!
2006-11-01 03:56:49 · answer #1 · answered by Momma Jette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok so you are clearly having a bit of a difficultt time. First of all it's ok to look around everyone does it and if they tell you different they are lying! You probably would not be looking at othere peolpe boy's or girls if everything was going great in your current relationship!
If you are not happy you really need to take a break... you may just need some time apart to give eachother a chance to miss one another! If this is something you do not wish to do then maybe try a break away to gether or doing something different together no matter how much two people may love eachother we all need some variety in our life!
I hope this helps even if only in a tiny way
Good luck
2006-11-01 11:12:13 · answer #2 · answered by Updowndizzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Nikki
I heard somewhere that it's normal for teens to be curious of homosexual relationships. It's a process of self discovery I suppose.
Sexual preference aside, you need to work out for yourself if you want to play the waiting game... ie keep being nice to your gf and hope things work out
Or if you want to just move on. You mentioned you're starting to like boys too and maybe that's something you want to explore further. It's not to say you can be frens with your gf anymore, just not as close.
Happens all the time with frens, there are so many that leave a footprint in your life, but only so few who'll walk through it with you. You're still young and I'm plenty sure you'll continue to make many more new frens down the road.
Take care!
2006-11-01 23:14:42 · answer #3 · answered by Hang Tough 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you and the gf may need to take a break for now. You then may decide to get back together,and make the necessary changes to make it work, or you may decide to stay apart. Cherish what you had and no regreats...move on when the time is right.
The fact that you are starting to check out boys may mean that you are Bi. Their was a joke that if you are Bi you have twice as good of a chance of getting a date on Saturday night, lol.
Take some time for yourself for now. Just relax and do what you want to do first. Then when you are not stressed out about the gf you can make a good decision for yourself. good luck.
2006-11-01 11:07:12 · answer #4 · answered by Ricky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe ya'll should take a nice romantic weekend away together to get out of the rut!! You should make a list of the thing that are bothering you and she should make a list of the things bothering her and then sit down and discuss them calmly and try to resolve the problems. If they can't be resolved, then move on and try something new! You are young, don't worry about being alone. If she leaves, then make a list of all the good things that came from the break up and focus on those until you are over the pain!!
2006-11-01 11:04:30 · answer #5 · answered by flowergirlsdy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you already know the answer, so do it. If you are unhappy, change the situation, and get out! it will only get worse if you are constantly fighting.
Are you seeing men as an escape, or are you actually interested?Im not saying thats bad, but if you are currently unhappy, and see somthing that looks like it might be better, it may not be.
Take some time for you, get away from the bad, and dont rush into anything just yet...let yourself be alone for a bit and heal from the hurt.
2006-11-01 11:28:07 · answer #6 · answered by shortandcutetoboot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are checking out boys then you can not really love this girl no matter what you think. your obviously not in a very happy relationship, yes some arguments are healthy for a relationship but not nearly every day. i think you should talk to her about how you feel and decide amongst yourselves about what should happen in your relationship.
good luck in you decision, and remember there is someone perfect out there for you and this person may not be the one.
2006-11-01 11:01:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with the boys instinct. I know its sounds stupid and you'll think I'm an idiot but you really don't have a clue at your age. You should not be too worried about any serious relationship at this point unless it just happens. Seek advice from parents or other people who care about you. Be willing to listen to what they have to say.
2006-11-01 11:18:42 · answer #8 · answered by papaz71 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like your relationship is over, I think you should move on-you are very young, give the boys a chance if you are interested you may be missing something really great.
2006-11-01 11:00:43 · answer #9 · answered by Urchin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
checking out boys is normal! now do u love the gu ur with? if so hten work out the problems!
2006-11-01 10:59:47 · answer #10 · answered by kellydarcey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋