What can I do about my gay sister? She is so busy being "Out, Loud and Proud" she pushes people away or makes a scene.
She can't hardly order at McDonalds without the whole kitchen staff knowning that she is a Proud Lesbian. She is 42 and has never had a "real" job for more than a few months. She fixates on a woman and will not leave her alone and has been fired 3 times for gay sexual harassment. It is hard for me to be around her because she is so busy being out and proud. Everyone has to know that she is gay. We go shopping and it is like she wants some pride march to break out. Why can't she just buy coffee at Starbucks or a shirt at Old Navy without anyone within 200 feet having to realize and praise her for being gay? She is so busy being out, loud and proud that she is now 42 years old and still lives at home with our 78 year old mother. She is the type of gay that other gays hate because she makes everything a gay issue.
What can we do? She will not tone it down.
2006-11-01 02:41:12 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
If she's acting like the proverbial "construction worker pig" hootin' and hollerin' and commenting and hitting on women she sees with unwanted sexual inuendos, then she's got issues to deal with that have little to do with her sexual orientation. At 42, if she's completely in everyone's face in a hostile way, again she has issues to work thru that aren't caused by her orientation, although perhaps self-acceptance is.
Counseling would probably help, but she has to recognize that her behavior is insulting and she has to want to change. Again, I don't see being a lesbian as the cause or issue, but it does sound like she may be hiding behind her orientation as an excuse to express deeper other problems. Of course, all of this is assuming that your assessment is accurate and not an overstatement keying off of your own sexuality issues.
If she won't change and you don't enjoy being around her, tell her why and then don't hang around her. You can't make other ppl change, they have to want it for themselves.
2006-11-01 03:03:43 · answer #1 · answered by Alex62 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with being proud of who you are, but I understand the extremity of your sister. my own oldest sister is actually a lot like this. though she doesn't live at home, she has never had job for more than a few months and always says she doesn't have time for any educational training, and therefore only ever got her GED though she is very apt for many, many jobs and career choices. On top of which, each time her daughter gets into trouble in school, she always says that her daughter is innocent and people single herout because she has a lesbian mother (which is not true, my niece is a general trouble maker)
I think that counseling would be the best route to helping your sister. Both my mother and I believe that it would be beneficial to my own sister. A lot of my sister's problem is that my father never accepted her as a lesbian, though the rest of the family knew since she about 10-years-old and it made them no difference. Perhaps some of your sister's problem is like this? So maybe counseling will help? I understand your situation exactly and sympathize. I hope this helps.
2006-11-01 02:53:36 · answer #2 · answered by marcellayett 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its obviously for attention. She must have low self esteem issues.Which is very sad. She just wants to be accepted. Maybe you can try doing other things with her, things she is good at. Cooking, hobbies, or simply ask her advice to make her feel she has more qualities that are great, rather then just priding herself on homosexuality. It seems like she probably wouldn't have too many friends either. Since you are her sister, you are probably one true person she can count on, so no matter how annoying she may get while in public, never betray her. Also try finding her a job, or atleast try to get her interested in wanting to work, and create a new life for herself. She is still fairly young, at 42. A heart to heart is definitely in need. She is your sister, and no matter how "loud and proud" she is, if you go about it the right way, she will listen. Good Luck!!
2006-11-01 02:49:01 · answer #3 · answered by Heather M 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You remind me so much of myself. I knew i was a lesbian when i was in 6th grade as well. I am in 11th grade too and came out in the beginning of the year to my friends, and let me tell you, it was the best choice ive ever made. As soon as i told them, i literally felt a huge weight come off my back. I held this secret in for so many years, and i just felt so free and able to do so much more with my life! Dont get me wrong, the first few times i told my friends, i was completely horrified. But it takes alot of courage and it only gets easier. My dad is a COMPLETE homophobe. We were riding on the street once and we saw two guys holding hands. And he tells my whole family, "oh my god, look, two gay guys holding hands. What has the world come to?" You have no idea how that made me feel. But these kinds of intolerant people dont get anywhere in life, believe me. Once youre out and find a guy that loves you for you, all of the stress and worries will go away, i guarantee that. And just know that there will always be people to go to for help. Including me. So if you ever, everrr need anything, just email me. :)
2016-05-23 02:19:57 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
*Yay 4 gay. So your sis is proud to be who she is..what's so wrong with that?..Sad to hear that you seem ashamed of her when you should be showing sis your unconditional love and support for her. If you respected her in the least you would not be on here talking behind her back as I'm sure she would be very disappointed to hear this. If sis is offending you that badly then you should not be socializing with her so she could be with others that do respect her for who she is.Rather than worrying about what you think are the faults of others you should concentrate on your own faults as I'm sure you are far from perfect.She probably only acts like that in front of you because she thinks you are behind her 100 percent.You'll surely miss your sister if she ever decides that she doesn't want you around her cause you are offending to her.Try changing your negatives to a positive and worry about yourself..you'll be much happier.Give sis a break.
2006-11-01 22:29:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you know any gay people who can talk to her about her behavior? Maybe she will take advice and comments from other people who are homosexual in a more positive way. If she hasn't had a job and still lives with your mother it seems that her "out, loud, and proud" attitude may be a cover-up for a larger problem that is underneath the surface. She may feel insecure with herself and feel that she needs to constantly justify her behavior by being "out, loud, and proud" in an extreme way in order to reassure herself that she is okay. Counseling, perhaps? Ever try talking to her about herself, what's going on inside, why she is failing to take on the responsibilities of an adult? He extreme behavior may be a cry for help for something that is hurting inside.
2006-11-01 02:46:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have her read your question and answers. I say she is not comfortable in being gay or she wouldn't feel like confronting everyone she meets with the issue. HEY SIS! NEWS FLASH! NOBODY CARES TO KNOW YOUR SEXUAL ORIETATION! It just makes you look ridiculous. How would it look if hetrosexual people went around announcing it ? HEY , I LIKE MEN!!! LOOK AT ME!!! If you keep up the gay sexual harrassment , you could end up in jail. Even straight people don't tolerate sexual harrassment. Lighten up and gain some real self respect and pride. It starts by closing your mouth and not telling someone unless they ask!
2006-11-01 02:53:31 · answer #7 · answered by moose on the loose 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When i read the top half of the question in bold i assumed that she was bi.
Anyway, it is a cry for help. She is unsure of the situation that she is in and doesn't know how to ask for help.
Chances are probably met a man and felt sexually attracted to him.
Find out if there is anything that she wants to talk about. Find out if all things are fine with her.
If she doen't open up to you then take her to a therapist.
2006-11-01 02:46:35 · answer #8 · answered by Osunwole Adeoyin 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well she sounds delightful...I don't think that there is much that you can do...perhaps if you started not going places with her because of her behaviour...she might get the message...but even that doesn't sound likely...but you could tell her that you don't want to go with her because you find her behaviour embarassing ...I'd make certain that I was wearing protective gear when I told her...but not being out with her seems your only option..Are you gay?..it might make your opinion more valid...anyway good luck.
2006-11-01 02:55:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What Indy said.
My grandpa always said, "That's a YP, not an MP." YP for "your problem," MP for "my problem." Don't make her problem yours, is all.
If she had a girlfriend, she probably wouldn't have to drape herself in the rainbow so much. Maybe a local LGBT bookstore or community center is hiring, too?
2006-11-01 02:46:39 · answer #10 · answered by GreenEyedLilo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋