How would you want your husband to tell you he is affair. I know this is not an easy thing to say or even bring up, but rather he told you than finding out, right.
2006-11-01 02:17:55 · 30 answers · asked by hazmat1424 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would rather he told me while packing his belongings.
2006-11-01 02:19:21 · answer #1 · answered by Jessy 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There's no easy way to bring this kind of news. It seems to me you should have brought it up much sooner than the moment you alreaddy are having an affair. I suppose you don't just start an affair with someone if everything goes just fine in the relationship you are having...
Just let your wife know you are, as soon as possible, and talk about it (reason, time, ...) and how you see your future. Let her say her opinion too. Then it's up to her to decide what happens to your relationship too. No one can deny there will be a serious trust issue from now on between you two...
But tell her please, if she found out from someone else, things could be even worse.
2006-11-01 10:26:07 · answer #2 · answered by Eyeline 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no easy way of taking this kind of news unless you've been expecting it for a while. I would rather he came and told me he was having an affair, that way I could find out why. Usually when the woman finds out on her own she gets very emotional and hysterical and cannot figure out why it happened. How I would take it would depend on how long its been going on and how much further he plans to take it. If its been going on for months, then I agree with the other person and he can tell me about it while packing his things and calling a lawyer.
2006-11-01 10:19:53 · answer #3 · answered by tiger_lilly33186 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a perfect world, the husband should express his desire to mess around before he does it so he and his wife can get a divorce. But since we are not living in a perfect world let me tell you this...
I would much rather my husband tell me then spend months, possibly even years thinking something fishy was going on and trying to figure it out. If a man has the desire to have an affair I want to know so I can help him pack his S***!
2006-11-01 10:23:37 · answer #4 · answered by babyj248 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not an easy subject. I've been there. I would have much rather found out from him than the way I did. I wished he would have been honest. Heck, I wish he would have come to me before he did it and let me know his feelings. But, he didn't and I found out through here say. He still didn't admit it until he was backed into a corner. After that everything I believed in felt like a lie. It's hard to get over.
2006-11-01 10:28:24 · answer #5 · answered by Tiffany A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if this was me and my husband was cheating on me....if I suspected something and the marriage was rocky, I would want to know. Just come out and tell me so we can talk about it and see where we go from there. If I had absolutely no clue and things from my perspective were going fine, I would not even want to know. As long as the reason "you" want to tell me is because you feel guilty, it happened once or twice and now you just want to forget it happened and move on in "our" life together, I don't want to know. If this is something that was a one time thing, you'll NEVER do it again, I just don't want to know. But if this is something that has been happening over and over for a long period of time, something that has changed "your" feelings toward me and "you" are contemplating leaving, then I need to know. Otherwise, go fess to a counselor or someone from the clergy and keep that your secret.
2006-11-01 10:26:46 · answer #6 · answered by Erica 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would rather be told, well, I would rather he told me he was having doubts and second thoughts BEFORE the affair even starts, but some people just don't have the guts to be that honest and respectful. I guess just when we were alone, sit down and talk, and just say I really need to tell you some things, and its going to hurt you and I am soo sorry, but............., however you word it, its going to hurt, and most likely not be a good sceen. I wish peole would finish one thing before starting another, because a relationship breakdown hurts enough without the added deciet.
2006-11-01 10:21:48 · answer #7 · answered by shrimpseys 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't want my husband to tell me that, would you like your wife to tell you? First of all, do it at home, in private. She will be really hurt, and you deserve anything she dishes out, Are you leaving her or just sharing? Are you still in the affair? Sort all that out first. If you are no longer cheating, you are staying in your marriage, then you might not want to tell her. It will put a wedge in your marriage that it may never go away.
2006-11-01 10:34:41 · answer #8 · answered by Bev 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Id rather he told me, and the reasons why. A girl usually wants to know why and who the other woman is.. or if its a man.. which i hope not.... She is going to feel angry first before the sadness kicks in.. So watch out for a slap in the face, that you will deserve. You better get all your things packed up first because otherwise she will "pack" them for you all over the front lawn or even in the garbage... anyways...
2006-11-01 10:26:58 · answer #9 · answered by lila 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you love the woman youre having an affair with, tell the wife. but if this affair is nothing to you, break it off, get counseling with the wife, and shush. sometimes things that dont matter should not be brought up. start over. good luck
2006-11-01 10:23:50 · answer #10 · answered by cruzanglero 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have lied long enough it is time to stand up and tell the truth it is going to hurt either way but I would much rather hear from the horses mouth then someone else. Good Luck
2006-11-01 11:46:19 · answer #11 · answered by ashashbaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋