We have been together 4 years and have a 3yo son. He has SSI (steady income) im a student who has a job. He has been to jail in the 90s for domestic against his first wife. He is verbably abusive and i want to leave him. He says if i do he will fight me for full costody. Because of this i live in an unhappy relationship, we are not intimate, we have no real relationship. Neither of us has been with another parter. What can i do to leave him and have costody of my son, or atleast be the main house for him. Also is it against the law if i have the verbabl abuse recorded with out him knowing? Sometimes when he yells or talks about hitting/hurting me i turn my cell phone on and record the conversation. Everyone thinks hes a nice reformed guy but hes not. My son is the blood of my sig other, and has his last name. My Sig other never signed a birth cirtificate, and we are not legaly married. If it helps were in the state of MA, i am 23 and he is 38 our son is 3.
2006-11-01 01:41:35 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
You need to leave, taking your son with you. If your s.o.'s prior domestic violence was severe enough to land him in jail, you and your son are in danger! But I think you know that. You need to go to your version of the Family Court and apply for an ex parte Protection from Abuse order to start with. If it is approved, this could give you temporary custody of your son and even possibly give you possession of your place of residence (depending on a lot of situations, of course.)
Once you have done this, get in touch with your version of the Legal Aid Society. They should be able to advise you about the legality of the recordings you have and help you at no charge. Also, check out the Domestic Violence Center. If you have nobody you can live with until this comes to a full hearing, they may be able to find you a safe shelter.
Once you go to a final hearing, if you get a FULL Protection from Abuse order, you can try for custody. You MUST try to do this, despite the threats. If you don't, you KNOW there will be more trouble and possible violence. If you DO this, you will at least have SOME chance that things will get better and you will have what you want and need.
Please -- take care -- but get help soon!
2006-11-01 01:46:53 · answer #1 · answered by Yahzmin ♥♥ 4ever 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Contact your local Domestic Violence Agency they can help you with a lot of problems pertaining to leaving. Do not let your husband know you are calling them or that you have visited their place of business as this can create violence where there was none before. If this man is not the father(biological) of your child he will have no say in where you take him. He would only have say if he had legally adopted him. Make sure you take with you all your important papers as you may not get the chance to get them otherwise. Take your and sons birth certificates, your and sons social security cards, any marriage or divorce papers from ever, take your recordings of his abuse. Depending on your safety level take as many clothes and personal possessions as you can even if storing at a friends house. The DV agency can help you with shelter, food etc and get you help to move into a place. He is blackmailing you into staying how long before he start to get violent to make you stay? Is your son in danger? Please be very careful. Good luck to you form someone who has been there.
2006-11-01 01:59:53 · answer #2 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
till there's a legal order in position, she's interior of her rights. newborn help is a thoroughly separate mission from custody/visitation. i do not forget that once my ex and that i divorced it develop into written contained in the non everlasting orders that there have been to be no "in one day" visits with absolutely everyone of the option sex even as the babies were round. (And certain, they can attempt this.) would not count number in case you stay with him or no longer. If that's contained in the papers that the choose signs and indications off on, that's how that's. once the divorce is very last, that non everlasting order now no longer stands. If HE filed for divorce, he might want to really have filed non everlasting custody orders. He left the abode, left the babies there with out any custody preparations. Divorce would take time, notwithstanding it would not ought to take over 2 years (if, in actuality, you weren't round till now the divorce develop into filed). And who cares when you're wealthy? that's were given no longer some thing to do with some thing.
2016-10-16 07:09:40 · answer #3 · answered by predmore 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know about your state but in Ia yes it is leagal to record someone as long as its not a phone conversation, so yes you could secretly record him and I really suggest you do so. it really sounds that you need out of the relationship. i recommend you secretly met with a lawyer and they may be able to help get a restraining order to get him out of the house while you deal with things.
2006-11-01 02:13:09 · answer #4 · answered by wendy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I so sorry you have to go through this. I would find a lawyer and talk to him/her first. Then go from what they say, make sure you have a good custody lawyer, my mom made that mistake and lost full custody of my brother, but she was also moving out of state. Good Luck!!
2006-11-01 01:47:10 · answer #5 · answered by Ash 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about it! You have proof that he is violent. Due to his arrest. You need to quietly "establish" your self and it will work out fine
2006-11-01 01:51:15 · answer #6 · answered by Sexy PR Mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋