my fella has a baby daughter to another girl who he left for me. he wants to b a good dad an to b there everyday for her which means being round his ex. he keeps reassurin me an i believe him that hes just there for his daughter. he hates havin to spend time round her to spend time wit his daughter but she wont let him take her on his own so he is stuck which causes us to get at each other and i'm really depressed about it coz i want to b wit him but it really hurts. WOT WOULD YOU DO?
2006-11-01 01:07:14 · 17 answers · asked by suzy_sugar2005 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
not being funny but he left his ex and his daughter for you so i think the ex is entitled to be a bit wary of leaving the child with him and you at the moment. If you trust him then whats the problem?? it wont be like this forever im sure once the baby is a bit older your b/f wont have to be around his ex as much. get over it.
2006-11-01 01:11:31 · answer #1 · answered by delaruedebbie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By law, the woman in the relationship gets the kids and the dad is supposed to bugga off. As his ex won't leave his daughter with him, I'd say get the ex to find someone she trust to be the daughter's guardian and u (as couples) can go on a day out together with the daughter and the guardian.
I can't think of any other way around it.
2006-11-01 09:13:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I never would have been with a man who already was involved in a relationship and had a baby also. You say he left her for you. So what do you really expect, soon he will be leaving you to go back to her. He is beginning to resent you already and believe me don't be so naive to think he is not having a relationship with her when he is over there. It is not all about the baby. You really need to get yourself some self-esteem building if you truly believe that he found you so special he left his baby and will not return to that relationship, the mother is still in love with him and now he has got it going on! He has his cake and eat it too. God bless
2006-11-01 09:15:02 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i myself am in a similar situation. the best thing would to either have your boyfriend get visitation rights, because this way she cant make the decision on where or when he can visit. if he isn't wiling to go that way then maybe it would be in your best interest to find something in common with the baby's mom so you could go and be involved also. I'm not saying be best friends but i am a mother myself and it is difficult as a mom to trust that others will be as kind and caring to the baby. if you can, get your boyfriends ex- girlfriend to see what kind of person you are then maybe she would open up to you and feel comfortable enough for the baby to be around you.
2006-11-01 09:17:59 · answer #4 · answered by purpledream24 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I grew up without a father, and I find it respectable that he wants to be there for her in spite of his disdain for her mother. If he's the biological father, and he wants to, he should be able to get some form of partial custody. If he doesn't want her half of the time, the courts would be able to get him a few nights a week with her.
I am less empathetic for your relationship with him than I am for his relationship with his daughter. I know that it is difficult to be selfless sometimes, but I think you need to recognize that his relationship with his child is more important than your relationship with him.
This all goes back to my theory that sex has its responsibilities. In sleeping with this (or any) woman, your boyfriend made a commitment to raise any child that came from the relationship. If I were you, I would be proud of his commitment to his daughter. It may give you less time with him, but it also proves that you have a honorable man by your side.
I am sorry for your situation. I realize that it is difficult to be in your position. I hope you accept that it will only become more difficult as she grows older. She will inevitably blame you for splitting up her Mom and Dad at some point, but she will get over it. She'll blame you for many things that aren't your fault, but she will also move on eventually. You need to evaluate what this man means to you. You have a tumultuous relationship ahead of you. His daughter was around (or at least conceived) before you, and I think he is right to put her before you in his time scheduling. On the other hand, at least to me, a devoted father is a good man, and worth the additional stress. He will be a good father to your children too. That's worth a lot in my book.
Best of luck.
2006-11-01 09:37:04 · answer #5 · answered by toolate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can he go to court and get set visitations? Could you go with him? I know how you feel, I go through it. And you feel like you can't get upset because it's for a child. I guess your going to have to trust him if you love him, and know that he is doing it for the children. As your relationship gets more serious ask if you can get more involved. If you get more involved maybe (the Ex) will allow you to take the child to your house. Things should get better, if you really love him, hang in therel. Good luck, God Bless
2006-11-01 09:14:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend should get a lawyer and go to court to get visitation rights. Then if allowed he would be able to see his daughter without the motherbeing there.
2006-11-01 09:10:23 · answer #7 · answered by mnwomen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
right wel he has to see his daughter at the end of the day. he should be able to bring her back to his for a weekend even for one night he can always go to court about this and try for more acess and for her to go to his for a nite or so.
2006-11-01 09:13:36 · answer #8 · answered by rah x 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to court and ask the judge for his legal rights to see his child she's his to he should get to spend time with you and his child at the same time
2006-11-01 09:12:03 · answer #9 · answered by jax 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he wants his cake and eat it too! the courts would allow him visitation rights ;if he would take her to court .'then he would get to have the child at his home with you.Is he living with his ex and seeing you too? if so he's feeding you a bunch of bull!
2006-11-01 09:25:24 · answer #10 · answered by deedee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋