What do you do if your husband wants to swap?

Question

My best friend's husband is trying to get her to swap and she isn't into it in anyway shape or form. What should she do?

This guy tries to get her drunk and the other woman drunk so they will go along with it. She told him she doesn't want any part of it but he and the other husband keep trying!

Answer 1

ANY man that isn't satisfied with the woman he married is not a real man. He either needs to back off when she says no or be kicked to the curb with divorce papers in hand. HE can find a new place to live, a new woman to be with and to cheat on. To each their own IF both partners are willing to do it, but NOT when one of them says NO. No means just that. It sounds to me like he wants someone other than his wife, and wants permission from the wife to do it, AND to have her do it too so he can say later (if there is a divorce) that she went along with it, that she cheated too, etc. It sounds like he wants ammunition to use against her in court (if it comes to that). Tell her NOT to fall for this ploy. Tell her NOT to be drinking with him around. Period. She knows exactly what he wants to do (get her drunk and swap). It's a trap, and she knows it, so that means that it is up to her not to fall for it. Tell her to use her common sense, her mind, and her gut feelings on this. She knows what he is like, she knows what he wants, etc.

Tell her to kick him out or leave herself, then get a divorce. And do it fast before he pushes this so far that he will actually rape her or have someone else do it. Even getting someone drunk and having them swap (when they are vulnerable and can't think straight) or has sex with them themselves is considered rape. This is NOT ok, no matter the circumstances.

Answer 2

Maybe she should just say the heck with it and divorce him...that would be the easy thing to do...initially. But later on it could get difficult? Gotta get a new husband (he may be better or worse), care for the kids as a single mom, work, groceries, etc. You know - all that stuff.

Maybe she should just take charge of this situation and play it to her advantage. Women are so smart now a day. They are strong, intelligent, and independent. She could tell hubby that she will do it -BUT- that she will pick the man she is with. That way she can move at her own comfortable pace. She can drink, date, and flirt when she wants and as much, or as little, as she wants. Most important...she can be with WHO she wants.

She should not let him push her into his ideas. She can think up and imagine her own ideas - like the intelligent woman I am sure she is. If that means divorce, or staying and taking charge ~ then so be it.

Answer 3

Um I can tell you from experience, if the wife does not want to swap then he will be in fantasy land by himself. I tried to get my wife to do that and she said no, and she still has her mind made up like that.

If he keeps on begging her to do it, it will turn her off and it will start more problems between them.
When or if she gets ready to swap, she will let him know but otherwise he should stop asking her to do it.
I have always wanted to do that, but it takes both partners to agree on it. Most couples do not want to swap with another couple if that couple disagrees on it.
Tell the other couple good luck for me.

Answer 4

Honestly I sometimes wonder what is really happening to the people of this rats nest of this world... what happen to love, is not one warm and passionate women enough for one man,
Or maybe he just hasn't got the magic any more in your marriage,
if that is so then ,
I will ask you why should you take this slow walk into hell,
And than ask yourself this...if should you do decide to take this walk with your so called husband with this swapping you with another women and then another man,
What comes after all of that.
Your husband is one sick puppy, and he is trying to us you and your Beautiful Gift of Love and turn it into something that is dirty, then lets not forget what come with that kind of game playing.. Aids..sifless..Herpies.. and that is just three of the sickness that he is walking you into
just so that he can play out his own sick fantasies at the expence of your good health and Values.
Please do not take this walk into his den of his dark Fantasies that will only take you into the front lines of Hell it's self.
Start packing Kid,
and make now excuses because he or his friends will not stop until they get thier way.
And please rememeber it only takes one sick Pig that can take away your Beautiful Life.
If the bum isn't happy ..or satisfied with what is at home, then buy him a suit case full of Rubbers and tell him to have at it..and do enjoy.
Then kick the low life out, or you start making plans to get out. and fast.

Candyman

Answer 5

She should just tell him no way. Though I am not against it because people have the right to do what they want as a couple, he did choose to marry her and be faithful and committed to only her. She needs to remind him of this and let him know that since he now knows how she feels, that bringing up the subject again would be very disrespectful to her. Its good that he can be honest, so why can't she?

Answer 6

Dang!! I should have asked this same question 2 years ago....My EX-Husband of 12 years started that same **** with me and he finally succeeded in getting me to do it just so he would shut the **** up. Well we are separated now, I am living with my boyfriend that was my swing partner. I love my boyfriend very much, he treats me like a princess. My EX was a really asshole to me, abusive mentally and physically. So for me this worked out really good. I am now truly in love and happy. If she don't want to do it then he should lay off of it, it will end up causing them problems.

Answer 7

Well she could always go along with it and then act like she enjoyed the other guy better. I bet that would stop him from wanting to swap again! Possibly even make him feel as crappy as he is making her feel.

Answer 8

first of stop hanging out with the other couple, by doing so she is telling her husband and his friend that she might change her mind one day. and then when she does this tell her husband that if his mind set continues their marriage might be in trouble. tell her to set the moral standards for the family high, and husband will follow.

Answer 9

if she doesn't want to do it she shouldn't do it. If he continues to want to do it then they are obviously two different kinds of people and shouldn't have been together in the first place. I did it a few times and hated it. I am now divorced because my ex was always hanging out with younger woman trying to hook me up with them.

Answer 10

delusion is okay, yet while the comparable individual contains the international of delusion and imaginations, it would advance undesirable choose in direction of that individual. So at the start, you tell your husband to herald distinctive people to the exceedingly spiced fantasies. Then, take care, he needs to decide for a transformation along with his pal and his spouse. effective, he has a choose for his pal's spouse. you should kill his choose in direction of her. you like some smart propose in this regard . extra helpful seek for the help of a expert psychiatrist. one extra warning, on no account...on no account communicate on your mom and dad or his mom and dad or the different frinends or kin, that your husband is retaining this manner of choose. Your husband is priceless, do no longer permit lose his self belief in YOU. in any case he has been open minded to invite you in case you compromise. you in basic terms tell him, enable us to proceed taking area in the fantasies with some glamourous action picture stars or fashions incredibly than your individual acquaintances.