why do mothers get the chitty end of the deal?

Question

why is it us mothers spend every second of the day bringin our kids up makin sure they well looked after an happy,yet its the fathers (lots absent) who get all the praise from the children hmmm?

Answer 1

I wonder the same. My wife is and was wonderful with our son and I have all the respect in the world for her. Yet, just like you say, I can do no wrong in the eyes of my son. I love it, but I don't understand it.>

Answer 2

For those children who's father is not in their life. They think the grass is greener on the other side. That the other parent would allow them to do what mom does not. They do not know that Dad would have rules as well. Or that he would not allow candy for break fest. Since they do not know they fantasize about how wonderful they other parent would be. I to am a mother who goes unnoticed by the children. They are all daddy's kids. Daddy just brings different aspects to their lives. Daddy works and comes home and plays with them. Where as mommy is their all day to make them mind. They do not love mommy any less than daddy. they just have a different kind of bond. When they are sick they want mommy. When they want their way or want fun they want daddy. I also found that when I was the one working full time that this role changed. It really hurt that my children wanted daddy when they were sick.

Answer 3

to be fair there are just as many good fathers as there are bad, and just as many bad mothers as there are good.

why are some more loved than others? a special bond? boys will bond with their fathers more easily cause there is just more in common. likewise for girls.

another poster mentioned the child being more interested in what isnt there. this is also very valid.

also, to a child the parent always home has to deal with the good and the bad, and comes across as a negative figure, always putting down the absent member. but what the parent must realize is a lot of the time the child doesnt see the absent parent do any wrong, and so wonders why the home parent is soo hurtful.

Answer 4

The kids look at the mother has their provider. Their fathers are usually the fun one and is usually respected more. You're there everyday. Let's try it this way. You have friends. You call them or write them at least once a day. You expect them to be there for you when you need them. You expect them to take tme out of their busy schedule to bs with you. Do you really appreciate them? When was the last time you told them how grateful you were for them? When you run into an old friend you become excited. You're happy to have ran into them. You let everyone know you did. What happened the friends you are use to being around? It's basically the same thing. You are always there for your kids. They expect you to do everything that you need to do for them. Do you ever thank them or let them know how grateful you are for them? When you are use to something you no longer appreciate it, you expect it. Fathers are a big deal with kids. Mothers are considered the providers, the nurturers, the ons who are to take care of the kids and be there for them. The fathers who gain more respect are considered the fun ones. I suggest trying to have some fun with your kids. Do something out of the ordinary. Let them know how grateful you are to have them in your life.

Answer 5

Well, I get all the praise, unlike their father (absentee father). I have been bringing them up since our split over 10 years ago, and although hard, I kept my mouth shut while he slandered my name all over the place.

Finally, my kids learned the truth (that he cheated, cause he told them). They came home this summer from their father's house swearing they'll never go back. So, officially I am now mother and father to my kids and I get thanked quite a bit by both girls for my sacrifices while they threw their father in my face while they were young. Now, that's over and done with and my relationships with each of my kids are now on the mend and it's great.

Answer 6

Some of us guys try to be just as much a part of our kids lives as our wives r
my day usually goes like this ...
i get up at 5 or 6 (depends on what I have to do at work) ...
i am at work at 6 or 7 ...
i get home at shortly after 3 or 4 ...
i and my wife take our daughter and son to dance classes ...
we get home any where from 7:30 to 10 ...
i help her get dinner ready if i have not taken them out to eat ...
wife and i clean the kitchen ...
we get to spend a few minutes with each other before bed ...
and it starts all over the next day
weekends r fun too because i usually do the laundry and clean the house .. in the midst of dance classes and the fun stuff we try to do on the weekends
so yep, while some guys r "lazy" others of us actually try to win the hearts of our kids like the moms do
i am not bustin on u by any means ... i know most guys r like the one u describe but not all

Answer 7

I know the feeling.I guess we will all have to ask God one day.If the father sticks around to interact with the children ,that is usually enough for the child,yet they expect us mothers to be the all knowing and all giving.We are the carriers of the children and the connection to life for them.they expect more from us because they are strongly connected to us.yet we are the most loved in time and most children do worship their mothers in a special way.the role of mother is heavy and God knew that man could not love unconditionally,that man was meant to war and protect,women were meant to love and soften the hearts of men to keep them from destroying each other.yes we have a lot of work but with that work well done comes an abundance of joy.you raised kids that the world needs and the world can appreciate.I have raised 5 daughters and a god-daughter and her brother after my best friend died,and I thought many days that all i was doing was wrong,but I stuck it out some how, guess sticking things out is all we mothers know.everyone is fine now and I guess it wasn't as bad as i had thought it would be and boy are the rewards worth all that we went through.

Answer 8

Your observations are absolutely on target. I have known many stay at home moms who spent years raising the family and taking care of everything that enabled the man to go out and pursue his career and other interests yet when it came time to fight for custody of the kids ; HE walks away like the one who is in the better position to have the kids. e.g. job, home, character references from work, etc... Even though he never spent so much as a single week being the sole care taker.
This scale is seriously UNBALANCED.

Answer 9

Because we have to be the bad guy more often then not. My husband has always been there but I do 100% of the cooking cleaning, disciplining, and if I wanted or need to get a job the kids would have to be in daycare even if he was home. (like if I worked 2nd shift he still wouldn't watch. Yet the kids worship the ground he walks on. I don't get it. I'm even the fun parent who takes them to the fun places and plays football in the yard with them. He lays on the couch like some sort of god and they cater to him hand and foot. I don't get it either but thanks for making me feel not so alone in this mess.

Answer 10

Because the custodial parent is the one who makes and enforces the irksome rules like 'no playing until chores are finished' and 'clean your room'.

The other parent provides trips to the zoo and fun times. When children get older, the attitude changes, and becomes "My mom brought us up, all my dad ever did was take us to the zoo." ... Your day will come, just keep up the good work.

Answer 11

I think its because of the way things used to be guys are taught that its the woman's job to take care of the kids so they don't worry about it. Now not to offend anyone yes some dads do wonderful jobs but then you get the other ones that are just there.