Me and my husband has an arguments last night because my baby is crying so much and we dont know why..My nanny came to me to get the baby, I gave it to her because maybe to her she will not cry. My husband told me like "What you/we gonna do if the nanny is not with us? He said it was just a joke, but to me, I feel I am insulted because it seems to me that I am incompetent mother and wife to my son. Am I really too sensitive? What do you think about it? We came from a different nationalities.. he is american I am asian.. But eventhough, we are happy together, just the language barriers sometimes causes problem. He thinks this I think that way...
2006-10-31 23:42:10 · 9 answers · asked by just me 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You seem to have a handle on the language, so I hardly think that's the problem. I've seen Americans on here who didn't write as understandably as you have. I'm pretty sure he didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but he DOES have a valid point, hun! It is nice having a nanny but she won't always be with you to comfort the crying baby. What does she do to make the child stop crying? Babies cry naturally, they teethe, have gas and things like that and can't tell us what's hurting. You should try to take a little more of a hands-on approach yourself...you may be surprised at the postiive results!
2006-10-31 23:47:33 · answer #1 · answered by ladyw900ldriver 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Babies CRY. That's what they do. Is it possible your baby is at the age of teething? If so this is very painful and uncomfortable for your baby. Sometimes it causes pressure in his ears. One of my children often got an ear infection every time he cut teeth. He always had 2-3 teeth grow in at a time. His gums were sore and he didn't have fevers with his ear infections. Eventually he had to get ear tubes. He is fine now. Anyway, your baby may just need comforting. If you are confused and nervous ; your baby can sense that and it will add to his upset. Nanny IS NOT MOMMY.
You will never learn your child by giving the responsibility to another woman. If you are at work and she watches him that is one thing. However, if Nanny is taking care of the baby during your off hours you can expect to have a crying , collicky , baby who is insecure. Babies understand a mother's love in any language. I don't think your husband was suggesting that you were incompetent only that you are uninvolved and are too easily willing to give up and pass the responsibility on to another person.
2006-11-01 07:55:00 · answer #2 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lucky you, you have a nanny! If the nanny wasn't there you would have to learn like every first time parent. By the way your husband could also get up and look after the baby when it cries. If you work at it together I'm sure the rest will came naturally!
2006-11-01 07:49:51 · answer #3 · answered by lazy lady 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All women question their ability to be a good mother...especially when the baby cries a lot. You are lucky enough to have a nanny, so enjoy the break. I also think most moms are sensitive about comments made soon after they have had a baby. They are trying to do the best they can and these comments just break down their confidence. Best of luck.
2006-11-01 07:49:37 · answer #4 · answered by butrcupps 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you don't hand your kid off to just anyone because you're having a bad day, even though she is a nanny, you are the childs mother, and if you have language barriers with your husband then imagine the language barriers you will have with your kid i would say more but then you might think i am being offensive!!!
2006-11-01 08:06:19 · answer #5 · answered by rattagous70 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tried and spend moretime with your son. Bond with him he needs his mother not the nanny.
2006-11-01 07:49:18 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you don't know how to take care of your son on your own then you do have a problem. If you need a nanny then you don't need kids.>
2006-11-01 07:45:05 · answer #7 · answered by Captain Comment 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
you need to relax more
my gf is pinoy and she takes criticism too hard
i dont feel relaxed about talking like to a westy girl
but i hope with time she will get stronger and i weaker
baby has tummy troubles go see doctor or midwife
2006-11-01 07:44:14 · answer #8 · answered by q6656303 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i'm with him...what would you do, this is your child you cant give it to the nanny when it cries and needs you.
2006-11-01 07:45:06 · answer #9 · answered by mnm4213 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋