I have two choices of two men and two states.
My first choice is in colorado with the father of three of my children in a house that he has recently bought for me and the kids. He is financialy stable but emotionaly negecting me and the kids. He is a workaholic always gone. He can't stand my first child he wants him to live with some one else. I told him that if my son goes any where then i will go with him. He said if im not happy then i should leave.
My second choice in Texas with the father of my first child whom i am married to legaly( i never could afford a divorce) He is not finacialy stable but he is very emotional. Even though three kids are not his he still cares for them. He used to be abusive to me when we first got married. He says he has changed it has been 5 years since we first split up.
What would ya'll do if ya'll had to choose? I know it's up to me but i need some other opinions on the subject. Any help would be great!
2006-10-31 22:08:39 · 17 answers · asked by mystic_rage879 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It seems that you have chosen 2 "winners" (to put it nicely) to be in your life! In the meantime, you are jerking your kids around from state to state?
NO to both of them. Neglect and abuse won't go away. People don't change!! Get your divorce, start with a clean slate and be there for your children. They need you, not these men.
2006-10-31 22:18:19 · answer #1 · answered by Barbara 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be very careful with your second choice. It is possible that he has changed, but it is also very probable that he hasn't and after some time will be abusive.
It comes down to a few options, can you live with someone who isn't very emotional, can you provide a proper life for your children with a man who's not financially stable, can you accept the possibility that your husband may still be abusive and work that issue out?
2006-10-31 22:18:33 · answer #2 · answered by N_lien 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe u should just be by yourself with your children for a while and go from there. The first choice, if he doesn't love "ALL" your kids, forget that. The second choice, if he's been abusive, chances r that he will be again. If u need a friend, email me. I've been married and divorced twice from my ex husband for being abusive. I really hate this for u. Yes, it's a tough decision, but your kids should always come first, and i mean "ALWAYS".
2006-10-31 22:16:44 · answer #3 · answered by kittymeow63 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard one. You want the financial stability but you also need the emotional support. I would not have any idea what to tell you except go with what your heart tells you. Your husband doesn't really sound like he's changed. Do you really want to put yourself and your children in that situation again? The other man seems like he will not be any good because if he can't except you first son then he will always make it hard on him if you were to live with him. Do you really think that your husband has changed? If you do then he would prob be my first choice. But remember they rearely ever do change their abusive ways.
2006-10-31 22:15:03 · answer #4 · answered by rach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi!You should not be wondering who to be with,in your heart lies the answer.Never go back to an abusive relationship I will tell you that.Once an abuser always an abuser.Why torment yourself and wait and see when it will begin again.You must love yourself first,and your children.Protect them always if the colorado dude can't accept the child thats not his then deep in side he resents you,and eventually it will come out.Get all your children and start a new life without abuse or neglect.Good Luck!
2006-10-31 22:20:15 · answer #5 · answered by one10soldier 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Door #3 please.
The first one, sounds like he is trying to do right, but you are VERY unhappy. Not good for anyone, including the kids.
The second one used to abuse you? Also a no go.
Take door #3 and choose you and the kids.
HTH Good luck!
2006-10-31 22:14:02 · answer #6 · answered by Star 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My goodness girl, out of all the men in this big old world you only have 2 choices? I say you find someone who makes you and your children happy in every way!! He's out there somewhere just be patient.
2006-10-31 22:18:35 · answer #7 · answered by sparkie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would choose neither of them.
The Colorado man needs to be accepting of your first child after all he is your son and you and ALL of your children are a complete Package deal.
The Texas man whom you are married to that was abusive,and says he has changed,from living with an abusive father I know they never change,my father told my mom that he changed after she left him,she went back,he continued to abuse her until she pulled a knife on him and put it to his throat after that he never hit her again,he started hitting us kids
2006-10-31 22:46:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldnt choose any of them.
money isnt everything and i wouldnt want to be with someone who didnt want my kids as well thats wrong
they other guy may be emotional but he is also physical in the fact that he hits you.
do you really want to go back to being a punch bag and put your kids through that
i'd rather be on my own penniless but safe and happy with my kids.
why dont you wait till you meet someone who will love and support you and your kids
2006-10-31 22:41:16 · answer #9 · answered by rosierotweiller 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They both suck. You don't need to be emotionally neglected or physically abused by a financially challenged man. (I don't care if he says he changed) Either tighten your belt and pull up your boots and raise the kids on your own, or find a man who loves you and your kids and can financially assist you in raising them. Good luck.
2006-10-31 22:17:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋