This is a hard one. She is 6 and a half month pregnant with our second. Things started to get strange early July. I thought she was having an afair at work she told me i was crazy! I started to monitor her more closely. We went to marriage counsilor and she suggested we see a doctor about bipolar because od her actions. It all happened pretty fast, she was diagnosed,no meds because of pregnancy. I hacked into her laptop diary yesterday at 5 am and found out that she is sleeping with a guy at work and all she can think about is him abd screwing him. I am devistated to say the least. I confronted her with my evidence today. It did not go well. I know the guy, we all work for the same company, very complicated. I cant get my head around how a man could cheat with a pregant wife of someone he knows? I took my son of 2 and went to my moms. can't sleep with all the thoughts going thru my head. Is it the bipolar? need some kind of help . please how can i be with her again?
2006-10-31 21:57:07 · 9 answers · asked by t b 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if you confronted her what did she say? Confront him as well. I know that she could be lying. Remember to get her on meds as soon as she has the baby. I would not leave her right now if you can hold on until after the baby is born. Good luck to you this is a difficult situation that you are in.
2006-10-31 22:02:17 · answer #1 · answered by kelsey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who has sex with a 6 1/2 month pregant, married, mother? This is very difficult.
I agree with everything tnt said. As to "how can I be with her again"? beats me!
Take some time to sort out your feelings for her. Pregancy probably exacerbates her mental illnessI. I've read that some bipolars, when in their maniac state, become sex-crazy ... it's a generalization, but that's a possibility also.
Bipolar is TOUGH to live with. I'd suggest you educate yourself about it, and what kind of parent she will make, let alone a life partner. It would take so very much love and understanding to get past this, and you need to look at yourself and y'alls relationship and see if you have enough love to survive this. I know you're hurting so badly right now, and you're angry, and confused. Your needs, and your child(ren)s' needs are vitally important. She's not going to be able to fully care for and look to the little ones' needs until she's balanced out with meds and counselling, and that's a long way down the road. Do you have enough love for her to wait? (and to pick up the slack with kids ? -- you'll have to be both mother and dad to them for a while). I'll keep you in my thoughts and wish you the very best.
2006-10-31 22:33:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a complicated situation. I work with some bi=polar students at the school I work at, There behavior is sometimes a bit different...and they are medicated. Have you checked amy online informative sites about bi-polar? I think you need to get as much education as possible before you can even begine to deal with the other situation. I am not an expert be far...an dI often see starnge things, but nowhere near what I have been told from the parents.
Now, about the affair.....it is odd I agree, but I have heard of people having an affair when pregnant. I don't understand it either, as when I was pregnant it drew my husband and I closer together...althought during the second pregnancy, my libido was very inactive. Has she had a tendancy to wonder bdfor, even in the extent of looking? I do think that it is very possible that this is an effect of the bi-polor issue. It does not excuse it of course.....what is with this otehr guy though? Your wife may not be in her righy 'mind' so to say, but this other guy...I don't know what to think. Have you asked your wife about her feelings as well as his? I think it was very good of you to move with your child. You need to keep him safe and in a stress fress and emotionally stable home. Good luck buddy, if you need to chat, drop me an email.
2006-10-31 23:21:36 · answer #3 · answered by KaLee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you thinking that this baby might not be yours? Bipolar people are impossible to live with, specially if they don't realize they are ill or not on meds. I can't believe that all bipolar people have to stop their meds if they become pregnant! Not so.
Look up "bipolar" on Google or any search engine and you will find that what she is doing is part of her illness. The other man? Taking advantage of the situation.
By the way, not too many people who are bipolar can stay married....protect your children.
2006-10-31 22:10:39 · answer #4 · answered by Barbara 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love her, I think you can find it in your heart to forgive her and move past this. She's going to need a lot of help and support and you need to be there for her in the best way you can. She has to be treated IMMEDIATELY after birth by a competent psychiatrist because she could sink into postpartum depression which could result in postpartum psychosis which could result in Andrea Yates....
BTW, I think you had no business reading her diary - sounds like you don't love her and the both of you ought to separate for a time being until she receives treatment.
2006-11-04 14:14:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can tell u if she has bipolar diagnosis that is why she is acting irradicatly,many bipolar people have sexual problems and have affairs,of which at the time they think mean something or they dont mean anything at all,she if she will needs help as soon as possible and if you can for give her and want to make things work it will be very difficult believe me i know very well.Good Luck to you..I can also say it is a very serious illness that many people do nopt take seriously.
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2006-10-31 23:57:38 · answer #6 · answered by nanny2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First question is : Are you on medication? Doesent sound like you are. Second: Do you have access to a mental health clinic? If so I would go there and get advice from them.
2016-05-23 01:24:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow - thats a tough one.
confront her when she is not havig a hi or a low -
get her to comitt to writing that she will get help and take medicine after she gives birth.
be strong with her - tell her these are you conditions
you want to help her.
have her break it off with the other person - no contact
no phone calls nothing!
good luck
2006-10-31 22:08:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
RUN!!!!!!! I wouldn't even want to fall asleep around her,you may not wake up!
2006-10-31 22:29:31 · answer #9 · answered by want2wild 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋