What if you have been married for 20 years, have fights about everything and have lost respect. Can it survive? Have tried counseling many, many times but nothing works. Suggestions? When do you say, "that's it?"
2006-10-31 21:32:13 · 9 answers · asked by outtahere 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
by the way, don't say, "give it to Jesus" or "turn it over to the lord." my husband is an atheist and I am pretty close.
2006-10-31 21:38:50 · update #1
If after 20 years of fighting, no respect, ineffective counseling.......its time to get on with your life. I believe you have done all you can do. Life is too short to waste another 20 years.........good luck
2006-10-31 22:25:58 · answer #1 · answered by classy&sassy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you are STILL together suggest you both still love each other. Counseling only works if both partners are WILLING to make changes to make the marriage work. Sometimes couples go to counseling thinking that the other is the one that needs to change so while sitting there in the counselor office (and wasting valuable money) nothing gets accomplished. Its like throwing away a marriage along with the money. Many people dont understand that whatever got them together in the first place is something that will help the marriage stay strong for a long time. People stop during the things that the other loved so much and the marriage spirals downhill.
Sounds like you both need to find what the trigger is that make you both fight about everything.
2006-11-01 06:08:12 · answer #2 · answered by vhat40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I divorced after 23 years .If the offending partner is not willing to change ,then get divorced .It is not healthy to fight everyday about everything.I did the same thing as you ,counseling ,family counseling .My ex had developed a mental disorder and there was nothing really to be done .The therapists ( #4 ) told me that she was hopeless,and to save myself .My advice is you do the same .Your peace of mind and emotional health is more important than a loveless marriage.
2006-11-01 05:57:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If counseling has not work and you two can stillnot make it through with out fighting about everything under the sun then I think it is time to call it quits.>
2006-11-01 05:49:12 · answer #4 · answered by Captain Comment 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I honestly don't think so, if there were a way to save it, you'd have found out by now.
Sorry
2006-11-01 05:46:46 · answer #5 · answered by govinjann 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
say it soon why waste another 20 years? you are not getting any younger. good luck
2006-11-01 05:35:28 · answer #6 · answered by kelsey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get freedom if you see something for you in your life.
2006-11-01 05:50:19 · answer #7 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is a way and that is out.(just joking)
i really think that you should try a good period of separation(try six months and sick to it)
2006-11-01 06:34:59 · answer #8 · answered by bold 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you know when its over
2006-11-01 05:47:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋