DO MEN REALLY enjoy getting up-close-and-personal during the whole birth process - even of their own child...?

Question

Most TV shows - especially soaps - portray men as eager to be around and 'in-there' when their pregnant wife gives birth. But I think this is largely down to the vested feminine pressures of social PC - "political correctness" - and that most men would rather not.

Frankly, I also suspect that many women deeply resent being the ones who have to give birth - (which, let's face it, is a hugely ugly as well as a very painful process) - and feel that men should share in their suffering as much as possible... (something of a "Dog-in-the-Manger" syndrome masquerading as "caring.")

Birth is natural, true - but then, so is crapping. And I wonder - if women were the only ones who needed to go to the toilet... would they insist on men being there along with them - just to endure the pain, the pong and the poo too...?

Answer 1

I'm about to find out in a couple of weeks, when my girlfriend gives birth. I don't think it's PC. I'm the least PC person I know. It's all about what my girlfriend wants. She's giving birth to our daughter, and if there is anything I can do to help her, then I'll do it, particularly if it involves leaving the room...

So no, zero enjoyment, quite possibly. But something not to be missed.

Answer 2

Lots of men put up some convincing 'front' about not caring or about avoiding inconvenient or unpleasant stuff.

In truth, though, guys have as many emotions as women do, and they're desperate not to miss out on them.

There is a large element of guilt in the guy's wish to be there while the woman he 'knocked up' is suffering for the cause. He wants to share a little of the pain, and let her know that he cares about her.

Jealousy features as well:childbirth ISN'T like 'going to the toilet' ; It's a challenging and damaging ordeal a bit like the tribal initiation ceremonies that many men glamourise in their imagination (and a bit like the homoerotic ordeal that the tough-guy hero goes through in action movies). Every mother gets the chance to 'prove her virility', but a guy has to organise pointless artificial adventures like climbing dangerous mountains or cycling to work, if he wants to show the world how bulletproof he is.

More importantly, the idea that you've made this immense change happen in somebody else's body is very rewarding to the inner megalomaniac. Because you did it just by having some sex, it feels erotic, too ("Wow! look what my dick did!"). And because the result is going to be a whole new person, who could end up also having children and kind of making a part of yourself last, like, FOREVER, that's something that any guy will be curious about.

(not to mention, a little sceptical, too. Maybe he's not really going to believe it until he's seen it for himself!)

Having a child is probably the most life-changing thing that any guy can do. If he isn't there, he can laugh it off as unimportant; a lot of men have done exactly that, and ended up feeling that they missed out.

If it's so important, then of course he wants to be there. He also wants the statistics published in the national press; he wants good camera angles for the action replay & ref's-eye view, and he wants a bloody medal !

Answer 3

I was there for the birth of my daughter and I saw no reason not to be. I felt no pressure from anyone, it was all very natural for my partner and I. Having a child together was an emotional and proud experience for both of us, the memory of holding my daughter for the first time will stay with me forever. I was never disinterested, my partner never displayed resentment, the 'suffering' was shared as best it could have been, and I fail to see the connection between bringing a soul to life and "crapping". I think you are reading too far into something that is best experienced by loving parents than carelessly understood in such a clinical way.

Answer 4

my son was born 4 months ago today and it was the best thing i have ever been a part of. i counted and held legs and tried to clamp the chord and cut the chord.
there is no way that you can compare crapping with giving birth. they are very different actions. crapping is getting waste out of your systemand birth is bringing life into the world. that is just a stupid comparison.
also i would be careful about your wording when you state that "many women resent" the birthing process. i have never met anyone who regretted giving birth to their child. they all say that it hurts or it feel weird, but never resentment towards the process.

Answer 5

Yes if they are their from conception they should be there at the birth no matter what horror stories they hear. but its important to include them in the pregnacies from the beginning and not not to make them feel left out, even if they can't be bothed make them understand from the time of conception that a child is for life. to both who agree to have a child, and for thoughs that don't well they should have thought about it at the time more carefully, my advise to people who are not together under normal circumstances should still involve the father in the childs up bringing. i'm not talking about the sad cases, i'm on about whats best for the child a mothers love is unconditional and there fore in my opinon so should the fathers. i know some mums can't be with some one cause of what monsters can out in a man but mothers can also be in the same way, either way in these circunstances who ever has the child they have it for a reason an unconditionall reason so they must understand that this child needs a bit more protection some people do things for the right reason and some do not. the child has rights from the day it comes into the world it has a right to be protected in the right ways until its an adult and then can learn how to protect itself out there in the big wide world if its shown the right way, our kids are important to the future of humanity. we all have are faults but we all have to learn to get over them. a good mum know whats best for their child but it takes two to tango so drag him there cause a good dad knows what right as well happy birthing. its natural good luck to you all.

Answer 6

I was there with my wife when she gave birth to our 3 children (they are 21, 17 & 14 now)....and i wouldn't have missed any of it for the world....its an amazing experience and should not be missed.

Yes years ago the men were not allowed in the delivery room, but times have changed and so have attitudes....and in my opinion, any man who misses out on this experience will regret it for the rest of his life!!!

Answer 7

I can't speak for all men...but one of the most joyous moments of my life was being at the birth of my son back in 1993. I have always found pregnant women to be highly erotic and thoroughly enjoiesd ALL of the time I spent with my sons' mothers' while they were pregnant. I have found that more men that one would think are are aroused by pregnant women, and should the opportunity arise again I wold be MORE than glad to be involved with one again.....

Answer 8

My husband was nervous about the whole birth thing, but wanted to be there to see his child come into the world.
He was bored out of his mind as my labour was very long, but he said that he would not have missed the delivery for anything in this world.

Answer 9

my boyfriend loved being at the birth of our daughter,he was very interested which annoyed me immensly! He was more interested in watching her come out than my struggle!

I dont resent being the one to give birth because its all about being a woman.Its the most natural thing in the world and we were both happy with our parts in the birth.

Answer 10

I wasn't exactly geared up for it, but when it happened it was unbelievable, I defy any man not to get drawn into the whole moment, absolutely amazing...

It's the one defining moment in life that man can consider himself incredibly fortuitous, and ultimately appreciate the amazing contribution to life that women give.....