i really wanna have sex with my bf. but i'm afraid that after that he'll get tired of me. i'm a virgin so yeah it's a big deal. would it be better if i just stick with the other acts? do guys treat their girl differently after they finally get sex? like do they stop being as sweet, ect..
i'm 19 by the way and up until a few months ago i thought i wanted to wait until marriage. but it just doesn't seem as much of a big deal as it did before. but on the other hand i love my over all innocence and if i have sex then all my innocence will be taken away and i'll be like every other 19 y/o. i just wanna still be able to give him something special but after sex i'll probably just feel tainted. i don't think i can explain it. just answer however you feel like responding. please don't be rude
2006-10-31 19:44:26 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
he hasn't been begging for it. he's offered to wait. but i don't wanna wait anymore..
2006-10-31 19:52:48 · update #1
and i haven't done any sexual acts yet actually. but planned on doing them before going all the way. (which is why i put this part in my question)
i doubt i'll be getting anymore answers but just in case.
2006-10-31 21:03:04 · update #2
Personally I never felt any need to wait until marriage so I never had a problem with that part of it. I became involved sexually with my boyfriend when I was 14 and had very soon done absolutely everything but "it" itself. He was an older guy that wasn't a virgin when we met and we stayed together for 3 years without ever actually "doing it". I only didn't do "it" because I was afraid that it would hurt and that I'd hate it. Basically I didn't want to ruin a good thing. I didn't get around to actually having full on intercourse until I was 18 and it wasn't something I was scared of anymore. The guy didn't leave me and there was never a problem. I only did it because I finally felt like I wanted to try it. I did it for me, not him. It was never about true love or giving him a "gift". I loved him but I knew it wasn't going to last forever and I was OK with that. I don't regret it in the least. There's way more to life and love than just sex.
It's also such a personal question that's it's impossible to really answer it for you. Without trying to be rude (honestly), I find it strange that you consider yourself innocent even though you perform all these "other acts". I'm not claiming to know exactly what you're referring to but I can take a guess that it's more than just kissing.
To me, oral sex is a type of sex. I don't exactly think of someone as a true virgin anymore if they're having oral sex. Same goes for anal sex or whatever else involves some sort of penetration. I don't mean to be crass, but if you feel that all your innocence depends on one particular act involving a penis in your vagina, then that's your trip.
Absolutely DON'T do it with this guy yet if your afraid of feeling tainted. Also, don't do it if your feelings of self worth depend on this guys reaction to you after you have sex with him. If you don't feel like you're prepared to deal with every possible outcome, good or bad, than you're probably not ready to do it right now.
I'm not, nor have I ever been, a religious person but I know that can also have a lot to do with a person's view on virginity and innocence. So I would never recommend doing something that goes against your religious beliefs.
2006-10-31 20:53:53 · answer #1 · answered by Pico 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The pressure is on. It's hard to say how your bf will react. Are you two in love? I lost my virginity to my bf of 4 years when I was 19 and I do not regret it. I was also going to wait until marriage but I figured he was going to be the one I married so why not. LOL!!! How foolish we can be (not saying you are but you have a whole lot of life ahead of you!) We aren't together anymore but my point is I really loved him and he loved me so I felt it was ok. It was protected by the way. He didn't act differently, maybe deeper in love. But some men/guys hit it and quit it. Guys are not all the same and you just have to ask youself a few questions. Is he a virgin? Does he love you/respect you? If you two have this mutual love/respect for eachother then I think it is fine to safely engage in sex. However if you are not 100% sure you want to or you have doubts then don't do it sweetie. The first time should be special. Sometimes it isn't but you will never forget your first time so you want it to be a positive event. Whatever you choose to do be careful and always stay true to yourself. Its hard to say if he will change. If he is mature and you two have a real relationship then I think it will benefit the relationship. /But if you wait...that could also benefit. It depends on how he is. And how you are. Good luck.
2006-10-31 19:54:54 · answer #2 · answered by heatherlynnmorrow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand tht u luv ur bf very much & want to make him happy, but as u said, u can make him happy in other ways. If this upsets u so much I suggest u not to do it as u will feel guilty after it & ur relationship may suffer. If your bf truly loves u , he will be with u whether u have sex with him or not. Even I have heard tht once the guy has sex with u he gets bored as theres nothing new - all said & done. I also know of girls who use sex as a method to keep their guys. Be smart & take the right decision.
2006-10-31 19:54:43 · answer #3 · answered by Heista 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Waiting for marriage would be the smart thing to do of course! The choice is yours 100%
All guys do not act the same any more than all girls do! You can't lump every one in the same basket!
Males slow up young and old alike! It's like an old Sargent told me when I was in the army, you young fellows are all running around looking for it, but once you have it for a time, you don't want it as much. I believe women want it more than men do! Men are often more talk than action!
2006-10-31 19:52:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want sex, then don't have sex.
Plain and simple.
But I understand what you mean about guys probably getting tired of you.
I have those thoughts too.
I'm a virgin too.
We virgins need to stick together and not fall for the tricks, and become like the rest.
I also think it's a sin to have it before marriage..
So you're putting your life in jepardy if you make the desicion to do so.
2006-10-31 19:50:08 · answer #5 · answered by luyanu yang 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In ur society pre-marriage is norm. If u wanted to be different u must have had ur own reasons for it. Now it is upto u to reconsider the situation and decide. When pre-marriage sex is the norm there is no question of a girl being tainted or otherwise.
2006-10-31 19:49:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What will he give you in return. Everytime you have sex with someone they take a part of you that you will never get back and be bonded to this guy for ever. Having sex is not hte only important thing in a relationship. If oyu doubt something you should not do it. You could also lose it after you give him. HOLD ON TO YOUR VIRGINITY ITS YOUR ONLY PRIDE AT THE MOMENT...
2006-10-31 20:35:59 · answer #7 · answered by Lee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't give him, wait until you sure a guy will love you no matter what. you are at the age of 19, still long way to go. may be i am too traditional thinking, but yes, don't have sex with him. let time to tell you if he really love you. if someone really love you, it will not be a matter if you do not have sex with him.
2006-10-31 19:53:48 · answer #8 · answered by I am Faked 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be totally pure and do not do any acts. make him do without and wait or forget him until he buys a ring and pops the question. its the only way that works.
Let him stray to other girls if he needs it but you say NO. he will come back when he wants to get married because he knows you are pure. After marriage he must stay faithful so let him sow his wild oats now.
2006-10-31 19:49:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok gurl..i soooo know wot ur talkin bout...i happe to be almost 19 and im a virgin also and it has crossed my mind of goin all the way or not.....but i personally have chosen to WAIT...it is best unless u feel 100% sure u r ready dont do it...and there will be times were u thank ur ready but ur really not....u get caught up in the moment of passion and will realize when its too late dat u truely didnt want to go dat far....now i havent been far myself personally but i have gotten to the part where i got caught up in the moment anf aftawords knew i wusnt ready for dat jus yet...so i totally undastand where ya comin from but jus rememba dis....the one dat says he will wait until ur ready or for marriage is the one dats rite.......if ur bf now is bein kinda pushy bout it...then sumfins wrong....if he cares bout u he can wait till ur truely ready........goodluck gurl and if needed more to talk jus hit meh up at my email.....take care^-^
2006-10-31 22:30:35 · answer #10 · answered by kimmy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋