My husband doesn't want to watch the birth.Should I be very angry?

Question

Our 1st baby is due 7th November. I would love to have my husband in the delivery room for support I'm really scared and nervous

Answer 1

have the two of talked about this... have you told him how you feel? Do you know why he doesn't want to be there? Sit down in a neutral spot and talk... that is the only way to solve this. No one here on Yahoo answers can solve this problem for you. The two of you must communicate with each other. If you can't do it now, then what is going to happen later when the child is older?

Answer 2

From a dad...I have three children and I have seen two births. Your husband can be by your side without having to see the birth. Tell him that there is usually a gown that will be across your knees so he doesn't have to watch the baby come out. He will regret not being able to hold the baby immediately. Tell him to talk to your doctor that will be performing the delivery about not wanting to see the process. It is the most memorable part of the pregnancy. If he still doesn't want to be there dont be mad, just make him buy you lots of stuff to make up for it.

Answer 3

You shouldn't be angry. If you and your family and friends can't persuade him to join you for the birth he may really have problems and not want to be there.

Doctors or midwives are usually very helpful and will give you the support you need. Also, you might want to consider having another family member such as a sister or your mom present at the birth.

Your husband really doesn't know what he'll be missing. I was in the labor and delivery room when my youngest son was born and it was a truly awesome experience.

With my first son I happened to be 400 miles away when he was born--I would have loved to have been there.

Answer 4

This is a cynical answer, but this is what a lot of men (including myself) think, so I will give it to you and you may take it or leave it. You two will eventually make your way back to the bedroom right? Do you think he's going to want to *ahem* visit the south after he's seen the baby cresting?

We as humans like to play that the "miracle of birth" is a beautiful thing, when in reality childbirth is a sweaty, dirty, visceral ordeal that imposes an extreme physical and emotional toll on everyone involved. Its not really a "miracle" as much as it is a trial.

That being said, he doesn't have to actually watch the birth, but he should be there if only to hold your hand, look you in the eyes and let you know that you have his full support through your upcoming task. Explain to him that he doesn't have to watch, but you want him there for him because you think he will very much regret it if he's waiting outside. If his father is still around, ask him to talk to his son. My father said that after seeing me born, he wouldn't be anywhere else but by my mother's side when my younger sister was born. Good luck to you both.

Answer 5

Most guys are big babies themselves, and when it comes to watching their wife give birth many men do not have the stomach.
One solution would be for your husband to be next to you in the delivery room at your top half (given that this is a natural birth and not a C-Section). That way he can steer clear of the carnage.

Don't be angry, you guys have enough on your minds already.
BTW. Congratulations.

Answer 6

I would be upset- but if he could stand by your head and hold your hand= do you think he would go for that??? I have seen men faint in the delivery room - and after they got back to the room- I used to work in the delivery room, nursery and on the maternal child care floor- he does not have to watch the baby come out- maybe the idea is too much for him to handle- D

Answer 7

I wouldn't resent him for it. he could maybe be there up until the time it is ready. Then he could leave until the pushing time. Or even have someone record the birth. you could do it from your point of view so not everyone will see your goodies, but so if he wanted to go back and see it, he could. I would never force my opinion or beliefs on anyone including my husband. If that's what he believes, or feels then let it be. It's okay to be upset, but he more than likely has good reasons. hope it all works out. birth is a beautiful thing. i have two daughters.

Answer 8

Unless you have medical issues that your doctor has already warned you about which could complicate the birth, you needn't be scared.

Some guys just can't deal with medical stuff and would be less traumatized if they left before the birthing starts. Mine was one of those, so I got my Mom to be my partner and go to birthing classes with me. It is nice to have someone help keep you entertained because it takes time and you don't want to hyper-focus on any discomfort. Your mom would probably love to be there, or a sister, or even a close friend

Answer 9

He can be in the room and not watch the birth! Why doesn't he want to be there?

You should be upset and you should tell him. If he's not supportive now, you have a very long, hard parenting road ahead.

My DH is very sqeamish and he just looked at my face when our son was cut out of me.

Answer 10

My husband was in the room, next to me, and was doing great, until the pain became intense for me, and it was really hard for him to handle. It made him physically ill, and I was not angry with him for it. He stayed by my side and held my hand, but did not actually WATCH. And its a good thing he didnt, cuz I had to have a front to back, DEEP episiotomy. Blood everywhere, not to mention the fact that it would have been traumatic for him to see me mutilated like that down there. I would NOT have wanted him to see that. When she was finally born, my 'tuff guy' hubby bawled. it was worth it. i wouldnt be mad at him for not actually wanting to watch. do tell him how you feel, and that you would at least like him at your side. its a moment he will never get back.