Hey all, could sure use your help!
I've been in a relationship with this girl for almost 5 years now and everything was going smoothly, but last year she got a new job and met someone. To make things short, she slept with this guy and I found out, she said she was very sorry, that it was a mistake, blabla. I decided to give her another shot since she quit her job and got another one (which made me think she was serious about it) and she promised she would stop seeing/communicating with this guy. Recently, I was away on a business trip and I found out that she saw this guy again, although I do not know if she slept with him. This drove me MAD, since she had promised she would not see him again. We argued and right now she says she is sorry, that she just sees him as a friend (which I obviously do not believe) and that it won't happen again.
What would you do? Would you forgive her and move on? Or maybe its best to leave everything behind?
Thnx
2006-10-31 18:09:55 · 16 answers · asked by Opethian 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Move on...
2006-10-31 18:22:58 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure that you have heard the saying, "Trust is hard to get and easy to lose." If you can't trust her then it is time to move on. Sure it will hurt, however, it is better to hurt now and get past it then to continue and hurt even more later on. I had a simular situation with my first wife. I knew she was having an affair, and when she told me, I said I know, I have just been waiting for you to tell me. I could never trust her again. We got divorced and I am better for it. I can understand loving someone and wanting things to work out, however, you have to draw the line at some point and say enough is enough. Trust is the key to any successful relationship, and if you can't trust the other person, then it is doomed to fail.
2006-11-01 02:15:42 · answer #2 · answered by fjbrighton 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness is something beautiful but I don't think people should take advantage of it. You have to make sure that she is not seeing that guy anymore because you don't even know how many gfs does he have or girls or guys and she can get a disease you don't know if she protects herself. I think you just should stop having sex with her even if you like it a lot just for a period of time and if she goes with the other guy, well, she is not worthy and if she wants to find out what's going on with you and you see that she's loyal even if you don't have sex then you stay with her and start having sex again when you think she deserves your love.
2006-11-01 02:22:20 · answer #3 · answered by mansongirl17us 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
been there, done that. she will cheat again if she has contact with him. trust is built through consistancy on comitment, if she still sees that guy she can't be trusted. my ex wife did this to me. she had sex with some guy and told me that day "because she felt terrible" then I found out about another a few years later. so, then I tracked down her best friend from highschool that always hit on me and told her I split up with my wife and would like to take her out for a drink. one thing led to another and I nailed her. te next morning when my wife woke up she came in and said good monring. I said hello and asked "would you like to hear a good joke to start your day out with?" she said sure. I replied
knock knock
"who's there"
I fuckedYour friend michelle last night
then I threw her panties at my wife and finished my breakfast. I filed two days later with no regrets. women are all whores man, find something to poke on and forget about true love, women don't really want that.
2006-11-02 17:06:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you like her so keep her around. If you know she is cheating on you, propose an open relationship in which you are both free to see others. Not having to be faithful will probably make her want to be faithful. You need to know though that it's OK for her to have feelings for other people, but it's not OK to dishonor a commitment, and if that commitment is being dishonored, then don't commit!
2006-11-01 02:19:34 · answer #5 · answered by Deegoor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, if I were you and knowing that the situation drives me MAD, I would stop this relationship.
On the other hand, you may ask yourself "where does this 5 years OLD relationship leading you to". The answer is the solution to your problem. Nobody else can advise you better.
2006-11-01 02:40:29 · answer #6 · answered by Pierrot le fou 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doing something once can be considered a mistake and depending on the people involved can be forgiven. Do it twice and then it is considered a habit, Unless you want to spend the rest of your life letting this girl walk all over you I would cut my losses and move on.
2006-11-01 02:14:03 · answer #7 · answered by snoop_dougie_doug04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong if you forgive her, but to trust her, hhmmm that's something to consider. lts so difficult to trust a person who has betrayed us and if it does feel like trusting them again, it takes a long time.
My question is, do you still love her? l mean, really love her inspite of what happened? lf you say yes, then you can give her a last chance and if you are not sure of what you feel for her, why stay in the relationship.
Wish you luck. :)
2006-11-01 02:18:59 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The big question here is WHY you are asking this?
For every time you catch her, there are probably other times you don't know about.
There are people who never cheat....she on the other hand has trouble with her impuls control.
Trust is essential in a relationship. It sounds like you have very little trust with her
2006-11-01 03:50:33 · answer #9 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Run for your life, Forrest, Run!" Don't get played for a fool, man. It gives us other guys a bad rap. Remember in Forrest Gump how he let what's her name walk all over him for most of his adult life? Unless you are Forrest Gump, you cut your losses now.
If not, whatever manhood you have left once she decides to rip you apart again, will be no good to you. Doesn't sound like you have any leverage or there's any mutual respect with this gig. Get out now!
Best of luck!
2006-11-01 02:26:24 · answer #10 · answered by Easy A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you take her back a SECOND time you may as well lay on the floor in front of her and act like her own personal mat. If you have to think about - you have to question yourself and your self-respect, it wouldn't just be about her stupidity(not meaning to sound harsh) anymore..
2006-11-01 02:50:22 · answer #11 · answered by Em 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋