He doesnt want to help. he knows this is his child and he wont help. He has 5 other children that I know of. I wasnt sure if I could get pregnant because a month before I had a cyst that ruptuired on me.
2006-10-31 17:51:07 · 27 answers · asked by mad dog 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Know your options: Adoption, Abortion or keeping the baby and do the best you can do.
He will have to pay child support one way or the other. If he dosen't he will just be in jail but you can get welfare. All you can do is try to make it the best way you can.
Good luck
2006-10-31 17:55:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa...5 children are a lot, so unless he is rich then I wouldn't count on the courts making this guy pay a whole heck of a lot in child support. How far along are you? If you are still early you have the abortion option. Do what is right for you. I am not condoning or condeming abortion, but I am saying that only you can make that decision and you really shouldn't listen to anyone when it comes to that. No one else lives your life. Adoption of course is another alternative if you can handle that. And then there is always the option of keeping your baby. Babies are truly a blessing and there is no doubt you would probably love your little one with all your heart. Even in the toughest times, that love will help you pull through. There are also all kinds of state help you could get ranging from WIC, clothing, daycare. etc. depending on your state and your income. I wish you luck in whatever you decide!
2006-11-01 02:24:20 · answer #2 · answered by Leigh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A few ideas that maybe haven't been shared yet:
1. It seems that you have issues finding good relationships with healthy functioning men (looked at your previous post). You've already created tons of suffering for yourself because of this problem -- isn't it high time you found a therapist to work on this part of your life? In fact, with a baby coming along, don't you owe it to your baby to have your sh*t together when he/she is born?
2. I guess I fail to see how having a cyst (ovarian?) would prevent you from being PG. Perhaps you should talk to the doctor about a new form of birth control once you have this baby.
3. If this guy has 5 other kids then I'm guessing that you won't get much child support unless he's wealthy. This means you're gonna have to get welfare. Here in the USA, there is usually a 5-year cap on welfare, so you'd better take this time in your life to get some great job skills that will allow you to raise a family on your income alone.
3.5 I'm betting that if you don't get therapy then you'll simply move in with a guy, any guy, in order to help pay the bills. That relationship will be as bad as the ones you've talked about in your posts.
4. Ditto on the "consider adoption" idea. I know of several wonderful, but childless, couples in my neighborhood. They've got a great family income, a nice house, a great marriage... and they can't find a baby to adopt.
5. An abortion is forever. You will never get over it -- it will always haunt you.
2006-11-01 02:14:56 · answer #3 · answered by geek49203 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Speaking as a pregnant woman myself, I can only tell you that things will be difficult no matter what you decide to do. If he truly has no desire to help, then he is a jerk, and you wouldn't want him to be there anyway. When I found out I was pregnant, we had only been together for a few months, and it has been incredibly straining even though he was excited about being a father. There have been times when I think I would rather have tried to do it alone, at least I would only have my own stresses to deal with. As I get closer to my due date, things have not improved much, and I find myself wondering how much longer we will be together, not a really good way to start out as a family. Anyway, I know women who have done it alone, and have raised beautiful happy children. It can be done, but it will be hard work. Find out what aid you qualify for, and take advantage of it - that's what it's there for. Don't let money (or lack of) be the thing that stands in the way of you having this child. You may or may not be able to collect support from him, but don't count on it. Even with a court order, I know women who are still waiting years for the support they are owed. The important thing is that this baby has at least one parent who can love and care for it. If the idea of doing it alone is too much for you, then you need to consider what other options you have. It's a hard choice, but keep in mind that once you have a child to take care of, you can't change your mind and give it back. My prayers are with you, Stay strong.
2006-11-01 02:21:54 · answer #4 · answered by 2much2do 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep the life inside you cos it was meant to be, your situation is infortunate BUT
use these next nine months to do a course so that you can work from home when the baby arrives.
sounds like this guy does the deed and then won't stick around to take responsibility for his actions, what a worm, squirming out of situations, wriggling out.. worm.
truth is, if you don't want a baby, don't have unprotected sex.
(babies can be conceived even then) this man has shown he won't be around so you have to make the most of your situation,
if you do do a course and learn a skill, you'll make friends as well, also go to an expectant mom's group to build a support system around you , it will help you to understand what your body is going through.
you will probably feel worse than you should cos of the high levels of hormones in your system when you are pregnant. they can really fool you into thinking everything is hopeless - don't fall for it.
so get out there, keep active and face it head on. you can do it, plenty have before you.
also what area are you in? I wanna look up some services.
2006-11-01 03:07:30 · answer #5 · answered by foxinsox 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay first off... all those rude people who keep telling you that you made a bad choice, not to get on welfare, and to have an abortion - DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM - they are only trying to bring you down to their level, which obviously is below dirt.
Secondly - Things like this happen. I'm sorry that it did turn out this way.
Please do not get an abortion - I'm begging you. If you cannot financially provide for your child, put him/her up for adoption so the baby has a chance at life. There are many couples out there who are willing to give your child a better chance at life.
If the guy doesn't want to help then screw him. If you do decide to keep the baby - use your resources - there is Medicaid, there is WIC - there are places where you can get clothes for cheap for the baby that are in really good condition. If you have a job that will help you much more. Start saving for the baby now.
Girl - I'm serious - if you want someone civil to talk to who won't judge you for your actions - EMAIL ME ... I am willing to help you through this.
2006-11-01 02:52:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have come to a brutal place for your answer, so please don't take any of the rude comments to heart. First of all, look at it as though by leaving you he has done you a favor. He does not sound like a good role model for your child and if it wasn't now, it probably would have eventually happened. I think that we are given a gift of intuition that is so powerful. Listen to your heart. You must do what is best for you wether it be adoption, abortion, or raising that baby alone. There are so so many support groups available for any option that you choose. If you choose adoption, please keep me in mind, perhaps it is fate that we met here, I don't know:) Anyway, you are in a tough spot right now but just know that whatever you choose, you will make it through it. Stay positive!
Love and light.
2006-11-01 02:08:07 · answer #7 · answered by Yuppy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you can take him to court for child support once the baby is born, if you elect to keep the baby. You can always give the child up for adoption, probably the best course of action for you.
If you need help there are church groups and social organizations that can help you. Check out Christian Pro-Life if it is available in your area.
LDS (Latter Day Saints, or Mormons) also have a very active program for adoptions. If you are already a churchgoer check first with your minister or pastor. If not, look for a good church with active social programs.
There are also state agencies that can help, particularly with medical support or food assistance, and you need to check all of those out.
2006-11-01 01:58:33 · answer #8 · answered by Warren D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Bless your heart! Everyone is giving their advice. First of all asked yourself- Whats best for your child? If you really dont have any family. Get some help. There are wonderful couples who really want to adopt a baby.
You have options:
option #1- You can keep the baby-get a job, and be careful not to get pregant again. Their agency that can assit you!
You dont need this guy- He just want one thing and he got it! So be smart.
#Option 2- Adoption- I have a friend who's being married 5yrs. She had ovarian cancer-prevent her from having any. So its up to you -I dont believe in abortion. But adoption is a wonderful solution- give a child a home. But I know its easy for all of us to share our opinion. but you are the one person that can make that! If you are religions -pray for guidance.
I know of single parent who raised their one child. they do a great job. But I know they have all said-it would be nice to have husband to help out. But your situation its way different. He has other children. So good luck with what ever decision you made.
If you decided to put your child for adoption. You can learn from this and make a good life for yourself. Be smart not to fall for any other jerk. Good luck and Best to you and your child.
2006-11-01 02:26:48 · answer #9 · answered by smiley710 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK dear . sorry for the harsh words , but , U have been stupid enough to get your self in this kinda trouble , so don't be any more stupid by taking some wrong decisions .. OK ??
1. the baby did nothing wrong to U , so U have no right do do any thing wrong to him .
2. try to get a job , so that U would be able to support U and Ur baby
3. when the baby arrives , I wouldn't try to show her/him to the father , because , if Ur words were true , then Ur baby would prefer to have no father than to have such one .
4. try to contact Ur family or friends , don't show them that U want to depend totally on their help , but tell them that U made up ur mind to do some good thing in your life , but U would need their help and support in the beginning .
wish U luck
2006-11-01 02:03:39 · answer #10 · answered by BekO 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋