...in a 4+ year relationship, for a guy to expect/want his GF to dress fancy for him every day, every time they see one another, even if they aren't going anywhere special? Is it also a reasonable expectation of him to want her to provide him with "new" and "different" sides of her personality ...even after 4+ years when she has pretty much shown him all sides of who she is (obviously she has not stopped growing as a person, but it wouldn't be an overnight change type of thing, and it wouldn't always be in ways that benefit him only)? Finally, is it right of him to sometimes hinge the entire relationship on whether or not she's dressing up ...or allude that she's not doing anything for the relationship "for him" if she's not fulfilling his need for new/different/fancy in his woman. Thanks for the input.
2006-10-31 17:45:39 · 13 answers · asked by donnae11 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Since some have asked...For his part...he is learning to communicate better with me, which is a skill that doesn't come naturally to him either...but I have never made it seem as though I expected perfection out of him or that the entire relationship hinged on his ability to perfectly communicate.
2006-10-31 17:54:05 · update #1
I think that after a 4 year relationship its natural for one or the other or sometimes even both to spice things up, or do somthing different, but to dress up every single day, i think he has more of a control issue , or personal issues of his own and i think that hes trying to change you into another person. When he should love you unconditionally, and to love you for who you are and not what he wants you to be.
Me and my boyfriend sometimes get bored of doing the same things, so every so often we get away, go out of town, and when we get back its wonderful, and we appreciate alot more that we used to. Or, we would cuddle on the couch and watch a movie. Thoes are the small things that mean the world to us, and it takes care of the bordom.
I wish you luck,
2006-11-01 03:44:19 · answer #1 · answered by shellz23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like to me that he is only interested in what she can give to him and not what they can give to each other. With an emphatic yes, it is unreasonable to expect that. A person would need a wardrobe the size of the library of congress just to have enough cloths to have something different for each and every time or each and every day to look differrent. What should be the focus is what the person is like on the inside not what they look like on the outside. If after 4 years, he doesn't know her, then he never will know her no matter how long they are together. It would be better for her to end it now and start to heal then to let it go and end up hurting even more later.
2006-10-31 17:58:03 · answer #2 · answered by fjbrighton 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like he's not feeling her anymore. Maybe he's looking at other chicks and wanting them, but doesn't want to go that far since he knows nothing else because of the four year relationship. I would sit him down and talk with him about these absurd requests and why not turn the tables on him. How is he so perfect? What should he change or improve on? Sounds like bullcrap to me, some people will do anything for love.
2006-10-31 17:57:34 · answer #3 · answered by blue eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Typical women; wake up! he does not want a permanent relationship; he wants, a trophy, something different everyday. Have you ever heard the term, the spice of life? meaning he needs something different to keep him interested. Is that the kind of relationship you want? I ask you this - If you got fat; or real sick, would he stay around for the long haul? Hence; as long as you keep him interested and look good, he's going to be there. let yourself go and he goes.. WANTA BET?
2006-10-31 17:59:03 · answer #4 · answered by denfasr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My knee-jerk response is that he is a jerk, but that won't help you. As far as "dressing up" for him, if you don't dress in sweatpants constantly, and you look after yourself, then there would be no reason for that. It sounds like total mind ****ing to me. He wants to control her and he has found a way to do it. A slippery slope, no doubt. Counselling may help, but most men who are control freaks can never truly give it up. Changing who you are for a man is never a good idea-you will lose youself in the end.
2006-10-31 17:53:04 · answer #5 · answered by cindiloo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hon, some of this behavior and request sounds more like a control freak. these can be some red flags about a person. these are traits of an abuser. seriously. open your eyes and pay attention.
2006-10-31 17:49:50 · answer #6 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have dumped him the first time he said something like that...
2006-10-31 18:03:07 · answer #7 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
does she like the way he asks her to do that? does he provide money for her looks, clothes, etc.? umm, do you wanna be his slave?
2006-10-31 18:33:57 · answer #8 · answered by pinkshirt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmmmmmm, sounds like a one way street to me.
What's HIS role???
2006-10-31 17:50:32 · answer #9 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump him.......hes a control freak and wants to control you.
2006-10-31 17:57:04 · answer #10 · answered by Wendy G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋