I got divorced a year & a half ago and haven't started dating, yet.?

Question

I got divorced a year & a half ago (my wife divorced me, I didn't want the divorce) and haven't started dating, yet. I don't know if I can trust a woman, again, but, I miss the companionship that comes from a relationship. Am I "normal" and how do I get back into the dating scene?

I'm not sure I'll ever be "ready". I feel the longer I wait, the worse things will be.

Answer 1

ya that is normal. i have never been divorced but i also dont trust women.. or just about anyone :). To get back in it depends on what type of girl you want. If you know what type, go to a place where they might be, such as a bar or gym...

Answer 2

You are very normal. My husband passed away and whether it is a divorce or death it is still a shock and a loss. I know what youmean about missing the companionship, i did. It took me awhile to date again and i did not want to because i did not want to lose someone else. Only the person who has lost someone will know when the time is right to date.You did not say if she cheated on you or how long you were married. I can tell you this from experience, dating is not the way it used to be. When we were younger we could conger up a date any night of the week, not so anymore unless there is something wrong with you and don't care who you are with. You may try Yahoo Personals. I did and found a wonderful guy.Don't give up if the first few trys are not what you are looking for and be patient and take your time. Some one is out there waiting for you, trust me. Good luck.

Answer 3

Yes, I think it is probably very normal. You have been hurt by someone you loved and possibly still do. I think though dear, you have to take the plunge and get back in the game. You have desires that would be best acted upon. It will help you deal with what has happened. You say that you have been hurt and find it hard to trust a woman. That is understandable. But when you first start to date someone, there is not the trust issue...at least not an emotionally deep trust issue, as you are just getting to know the gal. Go ahead and find someone to casually date. I think you will find that either it is someone that you want to remain friends with or someone you want to build a relationship with. Make sure you are upfront, in the later case, about where you have been and take it a day at a time. Come on baby, there is a gal out there waiting for you. Have faith and grow from what has happened to you, even if it felt like that most horrible thing that has ever happend to you. Move on and up honey. You need companionship and you are not goingto find it until you get out there and look for it. Take it slow, you know your comfort level. Can I ask how old you are? If you wanty to talk further, email me. I would be happy to continue to encourage you to get back out there and find someone who loves you. Good luck

Answer 4

If you are asking the question if you think you are normal for waiting you are but now you are asking if you should be out looking for companionship. Well I can tell you from the past that only you will know if the time is right and to find this out you must take the first step and go out and try to be with some one and See how it feels. Take it from there and good luck my friend and take it one step at a time so you may learn from the past to make the future better.

Answer 5

I think it's normal. You just need time to know who you are and what type of person you like. You can push yourself to dating someone but she may only become your "rebounce" lover. If you doesn't feel any motive to date, it means you are still in your healing process. Why don't you use this moment to do something else besides dating? When you are ready to date, you won't have time to do these things. Remember in your past time, you didn't need to force yourself to look for someone. It's the same now. When you are not focusing on this topic, your real lover will come out soon. Trying to widen your social circle, taking a class, joining some single group activities, going to church, contacting your old friends and coworkers are a good way to meet new people. It's not easy to forget the painful experience but you can recover little by little everyday. Good luck!

Answer 6

yes by all means get on with your life. Just because the relationship did not work out with your ex wife dose not mean that the next relationship will not. There is absolutely nothing wrong with dating it is very healthy to start seeing other people. Its better that setting on your *** moping over your divorce. Not only that but dating is a great way to help you regain your confidence and will eventually make you feal so much better. go for it live life man you only have one so take advantage of all the good things that life brings your way WOMEN WOMEN AND MORE WOMEN good luck

Answer 7

I dont think you have really gotten over the divorce yet and dating right now might not be fair for someone who wants a real connection. why dont you try doing other stuff or get involve in sports or areas and activities that you think you would enjoy. Maybe you can find a person just like you, who feels lonely but is not really ready for a relationship.

Answer 8

You are completely normal. There is nothing worse than unreturned love. Why would you want to put yourself out there again and have that be a possible outcome? This is completely how anyone in your shoes would feel.

The best thing to do is concentrate on yourself. Doing things you enjoy. Women are attracted to confident men. Before long you;ll have a special lady in your life and not enough time with the guys, not enough free time. Enjoy that time now while it is here.

The more you put yourself out there doing activities you enjoy, the more people you will meet, and the more ladies that will be interested in you. be sociable. Visit old friends, make new friends, network...let the dating scene come to you.

Answer 9

You are normal, don't worry about it. It is a big step to get back out there and trust people after being hurt. My advice would be to get back out there when you feel ready, don't rush into anything if you don't feel up to it yet. Once you do feel ready to get back out there and find someone, just ease yourself in gently, don't go in with any expectations. When the time is right someone just right will come along but just enjoy yourself in the meantime.

Answer 10

You need to drop off your baggage. Baggage contaminates all existing as well as future relationships. You meet a new woman, and hold your ex's behavior against her, by not trusting her and being suspicious of her intentions. That equates to you dropping baggage in her path and expecting her to carry it for you. Drop that. She had nothing to do with it and it's not her fault. You have to forgive your ex for her behavior, forgive yourself for your behavior, take responsibility for your own feelings, stop blaming your ex for the way you feel, thank her for the life experience, and move on with your newfound wisdom and improve your life without your ex in it. You need to do stuff to get happy again, MAke some accomplishments, master some skills. This builds you up again. When you meet that new woman, you will have the wisdom to observe if her behavior matches her words to you. When they match, that demomstrates sincerity. Also, have more empathy for others. your perception does not equal their intentions. True intimacy begins when you can share your perceptions and let your partner clarify their intentions. It's when you give them the benefit of the doubt, and know in your heart that sometimes things come off differently than they were meant to.
Join a health club. Take kickboxing and yoga classes. Meet people that are int that stuff. The exercise will do your body well, and you will meet people. Maybe you will meet people who will want to join you for tango dancing classes. Tango is a physical expression of a working partnership.
Enjoy your life. Get back at your ex by not letting your split destroy you, and improving your life now that she's not in it. Quit using her as an excuse to face your fears of failure and rejection. If you encounter that along the way, so what? It builds character and experience.
Notice the way people behave, dress, and do things to be noticed. We all want recognition, aproval, admiration, and respect from others. Build on that. Compliment someone every day. Follow up with a question. You don't have to make a friend or hook up with every person you encounter. You just have to practice at rapport building. Notice people, and make positive observations (to them). You will feel really good inside when you realize that you have made someone's day.
Keep making peoples' days, and you will find someone with whom you bump into repeatedly who wants to know you more, or someone who goes out of their way to bump into you. Trust me, this works.